Chapter 1: Anime Boston Was Totally Normal, Until The Allens Ruined It

It wuz a normal day at Anime Boston, and there were only 7 accounts of prostitution, so it was kinda lamer than normal. The SWE gang, consisting of Izzy, Carrie, Mack, and Anthony, were wandering about the halls, watching the arrests go down.

Izzy spoke up first "Man, I can't believe that a Companion Cube cosplayer was actually a pimp. The name is so innocent" he said as he watched the cops pepper spray the cube and then drag it off.

"Really, Izzy? COMPANION Cube? As in, 'I can get you company for the night' cube?" Anthony jabbed Izzy in the ribs with his elbow, grinning at his joek.

"If it were something typical, like a kangaroo cosplayer, it'd be boring!" Carrie added, before someone ran up behind them, rolling a nat20 on athletics and stealth, so they wurn't seened or herd by the groop.

"HAHA! As long as you're around, Carrie, my luck will never run out!" Buddy shouted as he showed off his winnings from competitive D&D. What that is, is beyond everyone, but somehow Buddy won a cooperative game in a competitive setting.

"Competitive D&D involves a race to kill a dragon in a dungeon, all while rolling to sabotage your fellow players. It's very strategic, as killing your team could end up with you unable to kill the dargon and lose by default, but if u leave too many alive, they could all team up and end u before u know it" Coffinjockey, who had just appeared from teh shadows, explained, before just kinda… vanishing from existence. It was weird, but nothing new to the gang.

"FUCK YOU, BUDDY! I COULD ROLL WELL IF YOU WERE NOT HERE OR MAYBE DED! But not reall ded cuz then I couldn't rub it in ur face!" Carrie gave Buddy the double bird as hard as she could.

"Well, maybe if you didn't SUCK SO BAD, you'd roll better!" Buddy tried to start a fight, but Mack stepped in, having heard a fabulous sound.

"Wait! Do you hear that? It sounds… excellent- nay, it sounds, fantastic. No, something even better than that. It's…!" Mack then just starred at the sight and sound he was beholding. It was…

GLORIOUS! NO I WON'T GIVE IN, I WON'T GIVE IN 'TILL I'M VICTORIOUS! AND I WILL DEFEND I WILL DEFEND!

Eagle8Burger had entered the hallway, being pulled in on a chariot made of solid gold. He was wearing a rather sexy and revealing red sparkling dress, and a crown befitting a king.

"Well now, what do we have here? A gathering of friends? Well then, it's time…" Eagle then reached into his dress and pulled out a 6 pack of beer, ice cold despite having been in his dress. He passed out a beer to each of his comrades, before cracking one open. "To crack open a cold one with the boys" He then downed the beer in an instant, causing a golden glow to emit from his body.

"Oh damn Eagle, I'd say that you just gave that beer… a glowing review!" Mack made a pun and everyone laughed because IT WAS FUCKING FUNNY, DAMMIT! Then, just after the groaning laughter stopped, a shadowy figure approached from behind Eagle's glowing body.

"Ah-ha! Logan exclaimed as he appeared from the shadows! He then pointed a finger at everyone. You dare crack open a cold one with the boys without inviting me?! He accused the gang as he shifted his finger between everyone, to give the full party a rightful dose of shame. Well, too bad! Now I'll never tell you if you have a hat on your head, Izzy! Logan threatened, before crossing his arms in a huff."

"OOOOOOOOOH DAMN SON, HE MAD!" Anthony whooped as only a Bostonian could.

"Logan, please, don't be unreasonable. Here, I actually bought a 7-pack of beer. I was saving it for you" Eagle tossed Logan the beer, which was just as ice cold as the others.

"Well then, I guess I can forgive you. For now. Logan said all tsundere like before he cracked open the cold one with the boys. The sound was deafening, and it was even audible in space, where no one can hear you scream. But you can hear if someone cracks open a cold one with the boys. I hope that doesn't do anything unwanted... Logan mused as he downed the frosty beverage."

Just as Logan got done dictating literally everything he did and the results of his actions, there was a commotion comming from the windows of the hall. Outside, people were screaming in terror.

"RUN, RUN! THE ALLENS ARE INVADING!" a number of people shreked as the Allen Mothership ap peared in the sky, unleashing wave upon wave of allens into Boston where everyone was.

"Guys, I think this is serus, you all remember what happened last time when the allens invaded, right?" Carrie asked, and everyone shook their head 'no'. "Well, shit. I was hoping you'd remember, cuz I shure ass fuck don't."

"Um, guys, is the sky supposed to be cracking up like a window that I totally didn't hit when I was 14?" Anthony asked as he pointed to the sky, which was cracking up like that window Anthony totally hit when he was 14.

Purpleeyeswft then showed up, out of the wall like the motherfuking koolaids man. "Ah, I've seen this before. The Sky's son stepped on a crack, and it broke its mother's back. Which is why we're seeing this crack right here. That's the back of the sky, and when the sky's back breaks… you better hold onto your butts, people" Purps explained expertly, he's seen this happen 3 times before.

The sky then tore open, revealing TV static that sucked up teh entyre universe! And also Boston, which had existed in a time-space bubble. Hence why Anime Boston was happening now, and not later. Or sooner. Or not at this exact time, unless it is.

Everyone then blacked out.