Tsuzuki was going to be in trouble tonight. He'd known it before the harsh mix of vodka and grapefruit juice first burnt the back of his throat. Hell, if he hadn't known it, he wouldn't have stopped at this bar tonight. He'd have been back at the hotel, trying very hard not to feel anything that might disturb Hisoka.
If that were even possible.
Hisoka had been so sensitive lately, jumping down his throat for things that wouldn't have been noticed a few months ago. Hisoka's power of observation was increasing; with empathy, that was better than an increase in raw power. Tsuzuki was glad for Hisoka. Unquestionably. But this new sensitivity had problems. Hisoka still hadn't found a way to avoid the pain that accompanied certain strong emotions. The boy swore he was fine whenever Tsuzuki asked, and Tsuzuki had to believe him. Even when his partner took care not to inadvertently touch people and constantly covered his eyes and massaged the bridge of his nose. The only thing Tsuzuki could do for his partner was to try to keep his own emotions from drowning the boy.
Even if he drowned himself in the process.
Hisoka would be mad about this. The certainty of it was there, if a little distant. He wasn't drunk enough not to care. There probably wasn't enough alcohol in the world to get him that drunk. He'd always care about how Hisoka felt. Of all the reason's Hisoka could have to be mad at him, resenting him for being drunk/lazy/stupid was the easiest to deal with for both of them. With tonight's situation, Hisoka didn't need anything more difficult.
Sleeping next to each other was going to be difficult enough.
The budget had taken another beating, so of course only single rooms were permitted. "Additional funding for superfluous sleeping facilities have been placed on temporary suspension," as Tatsumi-san had said. Official phrases. Nice when adding columns, damn useless when confronted with a single bed. The argument as to who took the floor would never be settled with words, Tsuzuki knew from experience. Hisoka was a practical person; if he couldn't get Tsuzuki to the bed, he wouldn't let the soft surface go to waste. A perfectly valid reason to be half unconscious before returning to the hotel.
Of course there were other reasons. Other reasons to want not to be sober when Hisoka undressed for bed. When a still damp Hisoka emerged from the bathroom. When he'd tried to cross the room and their skin just barely brushed. When the look in Hisoka's eyes shifted from slight discomfort with his apparent vulnerability to abject horror at what he felt from Tsuzuki. Their partnership couldn't take that a second time.
It wasn't a good solution. It wasn't a permanent solution. Merely a 'temporary suspension' of interest. To stay in effect until he could think of something else. Something that worked better than short term chemical castration. But really, a man would have to be dead not to feel things like that about Hisoka.
No, that wasn't right. Tsuzuki was dead. Dead and drunk and still unable not to think about Hisoka. Clearly, at least one more drink was needed before he could leave.