"Voyage of the Sea Hag"

Chapter One

"Yo!" Manic said one day as he passed Marine, who was working on her boat. "Wassup, fool?"

"What'd you call me, ya squatter?" Marine cried, dropping her wrench.

"Why don't you speak English, dude?" Manic demanded.

"Oi am speaking English, you jolly wallaby!" Marine insisted. "What the heck are you speaking?"

"Whatcha talkin' about?" Manic asked. "I'm not following you!"

"I don't want you a-followin' me, you stalker!" Marine yelled.

"Who's doing what now?" Manic said, scratching his head.

"Crikey, ya're going to drive me out of me blinkin' noggin, you are, you jumbuck!" Marine shrieked.

"I know you are but what am I?" Manic said.

"Oi'm the captain, is what Oi am!" Marine insisted.

"Captain of what?" Manic asked.

"Captain of me boat, what did ya think?" Marine said. "Oi'm setting sail soon as I find me a crew!"

Manic laughed. "Nobody'd want to be your crew," he said.

"What? How's that, mate?" Marine asked, suddenly sounding hurt.

"'Cause you're crazy," Manic said, starting to walk away. "See you around, sea hag!"

"Sea hag?" Marine cried, her eye twitching. She grabbed her wrench and hit him upside the head with it. She picked him up, dumped him in her boat, and pushed it into the water.

"Where am I?" Manic asked about an hour later.

"On me boat, squatter!" Marine said. "Heading for deep water."

Manic looked over the edge of the boat. "Hey! You kidnapped me!"

Marine shook her head. "Not at all. You've just been shanghaied is all!"

Manic started to jump over board. Then he saw the fin. "Sharks!" He yelled. "There are sharks out there!"

"Course there are," Marine said. "This ain't no duck pond here, y'know!" She tossed a mop at him.

Manic stared at it. "What's this for?"

"That's for you to swab the deck, ya duffer!" Marine said.

"You're crazy!" Manic said. "Where are we going, anyway?"

"We're headin' for adventure, mate!" Marine said.

Manic tossed the mop back at her. "I ain't swabbing no deck for no sea hag!"

Marine hit him with the mop. Then she gave him a good swift kick. "Now swab that deck! Oi'm the captain, and you'll do as Oi say, or walk the plank!"

Realizing she was serious, Manic started to swab the deck.

To be continued

This story is based on a forum roleplay. Marine's character here is based on her portrayal by Dandielion,