Chiiro: Yo minna! I know I should be updating Memory of the Past, but I was suddenly motivated to do this so I couldn't help it XD. Please note that this did not take place in the same universe as Memory of the Past.
Disclaimer: I do not own Kuroko no Basuke!
-**O**-
Ever since he was young, Kuroko Tetsuya had always been a strange child.
He was born with a quiet personality much like his father, Kuroko Seiji, making him seem anti-social. Kuroko was also awkward being around with, having inherited Kuroko Haruka's blunt responses this time. He was still a quiet boy, yes. But whenever he would answer anyone, it would always be straight-to-the-point, whether what he said was good or bad ("Tetsu-chan, what do you think of my new hairdo?" "It looks horrible on you.") . Hence, he'd sometimes get into trouble too. But the real problem didn't surface until he was three years old.
Kuroko soon realized that people had a hard time keeping track of him.
Kuroko always had weird instances wherein he would call someone, and they wouldn't notice him at all. His parents always had trouble looking for him too, even though he was with them the entire time. The other kids in the neighbourhood also had the same problem, which was why they had taken up the role of calling him a 'ghost' whenever they saw him. It had bothered Kuroko a lot when he was young. He never understood why people couldn't see him even when he was right in front of their faces. He had even tried to call out to them before, but, that too, failed. They would only see him once he would move something, thus bringing attention to himself. But then of course, there were still some people who mistook him as a ghost once he would suddenly appear out of seemingly nowhere.
Even though Kuroko always had that emotionless expression on his face, he himself was deeply troubled by his lack of presence. His parents were always working, leaving them no time for their own son. He never voiced it out, but Kuroko had always wanted his parents by his side. He wanted them to be with him all the time, to comfort him and to guide him.
Because frankly, Kuroko was scared.
He wanted to know why he was like that. Why he was never seen even though he was right under their noses, quite literally. Why he was never noticed even though he was speaking directly to them. It was just like he was a really a ghost, an unimportant being that everyone could easily forget. Kuroko tried to find ways in order to make people notice him even more, but seeing as he was still a child, he never went anywhere with his search.
Luck was on his side one day though.
He had been watching a movie, and one of the villains had very flashy outfits. Kuroko had thought that the guy was very stupid, because there was no way anyone could not notice him. Suddenly, that train of thought sparked an idea inside the boy. He had seen people dying their own hair, so why couldn't he do so himself? He spoke to his parents about it, and since they were quite fed up with his lack of presence, they agreed to it.
So when he was in his second grade, Kuroko Tetsuya dyed his black hair into a light blue, the same colour as his eyes.
Though his lack of presence still lingered, Kuroko was glad that his plan was finally working. People could now see him once he would speak up loud enough and they'd notice him if they'd stared long enough. His bright blue hair made people more attentive to him, and Kuroko was finally glad that he wasn't as invisible as before anymore. His parents noticed him even more and kids had finally started noticing and talking to him. For once, all was well.
But Kuroko never expected the downside to be so painful.
When a certain group kids, who liked to bully other people, started noticing him, it wasn't just 'ghost' that they were teasing him for. 'Freak' became another of his nicknames. The name-calling continued for a long time, but Kuroko had learned from his previous encounters that it was better to ignore them, thus giving him an emotionless face.
But after seeing that he didn't buckle down under their teasing, Kuroko became the bullies' main target. His seemingly blank façade didn't help at all, for they enjoyed testing his limits until he would break. The others kids then started to ignore him, fearful of getting caught up with something they didn't like to get involved in. Things got even worse when his previous friends even joined in bullying him.
Every time he went to school, jeers could be heard whenever he passed by. Other kids started bullying him even more, going so far to even dump his textbooks and indoor shoes in the trash. At first, his parents willingly bought him replacements. But seeing as the bullying kept happening and more of his things went missing, they had thought that he was just seeking more attention and demanded him to stop it. Kuroko insisted that he was not doing it on purpose, but his parents wouldn't believe him.
After a while, Kuroko got tired of telling anyone, including the teachers, after they would refuse to believe him. He kept it to himself whenever they'd throw his books or notes, which was why he often failed his classes. This struck a bad cord in his parents as well, for they thought that he was starting to become rebellious.
His treatment in school continued to get worse. People tripped and bumped his shoulder all the time. Even when he left any of his things on top of his table, it would always end up in the trash. He had once caught someone do it ("Oh, so it's yours? My bad, I thought it belonged to a dead person."), but he still didn't tell anyone, fearful of getting unwanted attention even more. His desk would always contain insults everyday ("Freak!" "No one cares about you" "Go kill yourself!" "Everything would be better if you'd just disappear") and malicious messages from unknown numbers kept appearing in his inbox every day ("Dude, you're still here? Can't you drop dead or something?" "No one wants a ghost to live with them anyways." "Bet your parents even hate you" "You're so weak." "You're pathetic, man." "Hey freak, need someone to light some incense for you?" "Just DIE already").
If Kuroko was troubled before, he was downright distraught this time. He became more withdrawn, more anti-social. His parents continued to be absent throughout his life, only coming home to scold him for another of his lost things and not even noticing the signs of bullying. After how many months of being bullied, other kids then started beating him. He would always come home with new bruises on his arms and legs and his stomach would always ache from the countless times they'd punch and kick him. His parents only thought that he was getting into fights this time and continued to brutally lecture him, saying things about how he was such a 'problem child' and how it would badly affect their reputation.
At first, Kuroko would flinch away violently whenever anyone would touch him, but after a week of continuous beating, he became numb. He became numb to all their jeers and insults. He became numb to every beating session the bullies had. He became numb to whenever his parents came home and scolded him for getting some of his new things lost again. He became numb to everything.
He passed his second grading only barely, and moved on to third grade.
At this point, he only began to wonder why. Why were people treating him this way? What did he do to deserve this? Why couldn't his parents believe him? Why won't anyone listen whenever he'd cry for help? Why are his friends joining the others in bullying him? Why can't anyone notice what's happening?
Why me?
Kuroko's thoughts continued to spiral downwards. His thoughts consisted of death and suicide. He just wanted everything to end. Maybe everyone would be happier if he would just disappear. Every time school went out, he'd always stop by a shrine that no one really goes to. He kept praying every single day, uttering the same wish over and over in his head.
Kami-sama, please just let me die now.
He had even started cutting. He slit his wrists at every chance he had. He wasn't stupid, at least, and he only cut shallowly, just enough to lessen the pain and aching in his chest. He just covered it up with a jacket, and no one noticed at all. After several weeks, it wasn't only his arms that were covered in scars. His thighs started to become littered with marks caused by sharp objects of all sorts: knives, razors, cutters, and even scissors.
But one day, when he was still in his third grade, Kuroko just snapped. He was in his room, getting ready for school when he received another message ("No one cares if you'd just drop dead, FREAK.") and suddenly, he just wanted everything to stop.
He was tired of keeping up his blank façade.
He was tired of people ignoring his pleas.
He was tired of facing his parents just to receive another lecture.
He was sick and tired of being ridiculed and beaten.
He was tired of living.
He just wanted everything to end.
It was just too much. Kuroko crumpled into a heap right then and curled into a ball. He didn't move at all from his position. He didn't utter a single cry. He was just desperate to make it all stop because he couldn't handle it anymore. He knew that he needed to get up, because he needed to 'live his life' as they all say but honestly, he didn't care anymore.
He didn't care if his parents were still downstairs, waiting for him to get ready. He didn't care that they were only coming with him to school because the teacher told them that he was seen punching someone back in the face. He didn't care if he only did it because someone called his mother a slut. He didn't care that he would be suspended or expelled or anything. He didn't care that he would be lectured again for his 'disruptive behaviour' by his parents. He didn't care if the other kids were going to make false accuses against him. He didn't care about the fact that no one believed him anymore. He didn't care if no one stood up for him, not that anyone ever did anyways. He didn't care about anyone. He didn't care about himself. He didn't care about his parents who never seemed to understand anything.
He didn't care about living anymore.
All he wanted in the first place was just to be noticed,dammit.
The dam finally broke after years of holding it in.
Kuroko sobbed. He was crying so hard that his entire body was shaking. Tears blurred his vision as he wept, not caring about anything anymore. Even if his parents were going to barge in any second and demand why on earth was he taking so long, he would not listen anymore. He just wanted his living hell to end once and for all.
He sat up and rolled up his sleeves, ripping open the bandages that covered his arms and exposing the numerous scars and scabs that littered his scrawny limbs. With surprisingly steady hands, he scratched at the unhealed wounds until they reopened. This time, he didn't hold back anymore. Grabbing the razor that he always kept in his pocket, he sliced his wrists as deep as he could. Crimson blood flowed down his arms and dripped on the floor. He dropped the razor and curled into a ball again while muttering his wish furiously, wanting to die right there and then. His voice cracked as he continued to sob and mutter over and over again. He clutched his hair, hating the fact that he dyed it.
He hated his presence.
He hated his classmates.
He hated his so-called 'friends'.
He hated the kids who had started bullying him.
He hated his parents.
He hated himself.
He hated himself for living.
He barely registered his parents who were at the door, staring in shock at his pathetic, sobbing and bleeding frame on the floor (Oh, so you FINALLY noticed me, huh?). He didn't hear his mother shriek as she saw her son bleeding on the floor (Do you think it's just a JOKE now?!). His father immediately called an ambulance and cradled Kuroko's head in his lap, telling him that everything's going to be alright (Nothing fucking is, you bastard) because the ambulance was coming. His brain didn't register any of these things. All he knew was that he wanted it all to end, wanted it all to stop, and wanted himself to die already.
His parents froze at his words he was uttering.
"Please just let me die… please just let me die… please just let me die… please just let me die…"
His voice was starting to become fainter by the second, and the last thing he remembered before he completely blacked out was a strangled sob uttered by both his mother and father.
-**O**-
I'm so mean lol TvT
I don't know why, but I seem to like writing about Kuroko's past... I mean like, I swear, they don't reveal ANYTHING about the Kuroko household. We even know more about Izuki and Mitobe than the main character! Even most of the Kiseki no Sedai! At least they reveal something about Akashi... BUT STILL! There's ABSOLUTELY NOTHING about his family! (In case I missed anything that does say something about it, please tell me in the comments. I am DYING to know OAO)
Anyways, please let me know if the story was okay! Don't forget to review~! ;)