A/N: For aubreywitch on request. Intentionally this short, complete, and not to be updated, so please don't ask.
I was laughing so hard while writing this I could hardly see the screen. Sakura the lipstick lesbian. Ahahahahaha. XD
Prompt: Naruto x Sakura, 'first times'
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Blue Eyeshadow
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Sakura was a woman capable of truly spectacular bad moods.
When something upset her, trees shattered like matchsticks, rivers became unexpectedly diverted from their placid original courses and flew bemusedly off into new unkowns, rocks splintered and powdered, and people died. The growing thunder in her face was a well-known expression around Konoha by now, so most people prudently skedaddled whenever they saw it.
Naruto, however, was a man capable of truly staggering stupidity.
"Are you okay, Sakura-chan?" he asked, big blue eyes swimming with concern-- a prime example of said stupidity.
She was not, nor could ever be conceived to be by any sane person, remotely 'okay.' This was the first time she'd ever been this furious in her entire (remarkably angry) life. She wanted to kill something, and Naruto was making himself an awfully tempting target. "Go away, Naruto," she said shortly, then added "right now," as an extra measure so no one could blame her afterwards.
He blanched, but remained standing exactly where he was. "No way, Sakura-chan. Something's bothering you and I want to help."
If she'd been in even marginally better mood, she might have sighed and smiled and deflated at that sweetness in his voice. However, she was in a truly towering fury. Nothing short of Sasuke with a bouquet of roses or possibly Ino with an armful of liquor could convince her to be social right now. "Naruto. If you don't leave me alone right freaking now--"
Suddenly Naruto, who was an awful, devious, underhanded person, grinned and vanished momentarily in a puff of acrid smoke... to reappear as a sunny, pigtailed, unfairly gorgeous blonde girl. "Let's go drinking!" she said, beaming at Sakura, who had nothing at all to say for the first thirty seconds of shock.
"Yes," she said then, startling herself. "Yeah, I would actually love to go for a drink with you."
She couldn't have Ino, who was out on a long mission, but she could have... whatever this was. It was a girl, or at least it was good at acting like a girl, and it was going to pay for her liquor. Fair enough.
"And then we'll do your nails!" Naruto... Naruko... whatever, said cheerfully. "And your hair, and your make-up!"
Sakura reached out and threaded a long golden tress through her fingers. "Can I do yours?" she asked, a mischievous glint lighting in her eyes.
Naruto choked and stumbled, but then remembered himself (herself) and nodded brightly. "Sure! I like blue! You have blue eyeshadow, right?"
There was a first time for everything. Sakura, her day looking sharply upwards within the space of about two minutes, hoped devoutly this wouldn't be the last. How many people would ever get to say they dressed the notoriously obnoxious male vessel of the deadly nine-tailed fox in ribbons, frilly dresses, and sparkly cosmetics?
Only her, that's how many. Just one.
And Sakura had a closely guarded secret to do with blonde girls and blue eyeshadow and school recess breaks spent sweating and gasping in broom closets that Naruto was very possibly about to learn all about. She smiled widely and looped her arm through Naruto's slender, decoratively freckled one and pressed close to his gracefully curved side.
"I definitely have blue eyeshadow," she said with a beatific smile.
Naruto trembled deliciously under her fingers, and Sakura smiled even wider.
Today was definitely looking up.
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A/N: Um. :D?