Having gone through many relationships doesn't help make marriage any easier.
Coming from me probably wouldn't make you think the same, but it's just my opinion.
After coming to Tokyo my first time was crazy.
Only expecting to see my actual birth parents, but I'm thrown into an arranged marriage with a complete strange.
Well at least I knew that he's the president of a major company in the U.S. and that he's two years older than me. Pretty impressive.
Although I'd have preferred to know what the guy looked like before even getting married.
Guess not in this situation.
After having been stuck in Tokyo for more than a month, my wedding was already arranged and all I had to do was wear the dress.
Becoming married I never thought of, but when the day had actually come up; it suddenly hit me.
My birth parents turned out to be greedy bastards who tossed me into marriage in order to get money.
I never knew my life would turn out like that.
Remembering how I got my hair, dress, and make-up done made me cry.
Knowing that it wasn't my dream wedding hurt me. Not even an important day, but rather a matter of money exchange.
My life had changed once I got married, but my tears continued to fall knowing I'd never be able to marry the one I truly loved.
Having a ring put on my finger marking me as some else's property. Not being able to get out of the situation with knowing it'd affect my foster parents tremendously.
Letting my freedom go out the window knowing it would've probably been my only opportunity.
But knowing my family would be out of harms' way would be worth it, I thought.
Till I heard news that they were arrested for having possession of drugs, it finally hit me.
Though I had thought my family was better than that. All my family had been proving was that I knew nothing about them.
Leaving an even heavier weight over my shoulders knowing my life was a lie.
But ending up with no family comfort or support me, made me the saddest girl of all on my supposed "best day ever."
[Stood before the priest reading the vows my fiancés mother wrote]
"I vow to love and cherish you forever and ever. With my best intentions in mind, never choosing to leave you in the future, but to stay by your side till the end of forever," I had said aloud.
He had said, "I vow to cherish and never abuse your love. And to never choose to leave you, knowing my love for you will last for forever till deaths due us apart."
Were the only words I could remember of the so called, "Special Day."
After we had shared a kiss for our very first time, everything changed towards the worst.
Then on the radio a song, "She Will Be Loved", started playing while my current thoughts started playing through my mind.
Making me cry, as I thought about what I went through for my so called "loved ones."
Being "tossed into marriage" wasn't so fun as you can tell.
Even after my parents were gone, it didn't end the marriage arrangement sadly.
This left me to marry, Daniel Park.
Who's he you ask?
Sadly he's my husband.
After getting married he told me that we'd go on our honeymoon to Hawaii.
That never happened; because it turned out he was busy with "work."
I soon learned that I was simply being used as "fake" wife in order to make his parents happy.
While I stayed at home, he'd be playing around with other women.
After discovering the truth about him, I decided to find my own man while he looked for his own women.
But why would he marry me?
Why can't we divorce if it's obvious that we don't like each other?
I just never liked the thought of being forced into this position when we were just using one other basically.
But as I grew to know the home in which we lived in, I started to like it and grow attached to it.
I would clean it to my best ability, I would cherish it as much as possible because I wouldn't know if it'd be the last time I see it in my life time.
While cleaning I'd find some undergarments under my husband's bed being fully aware that it's not his underwear or mine.
Good thing I just left them laying there, so it'd finally hit him that he should do a little cleaning if he planned on bring another girl.
I swore I'd never sleep with a man like "that."
And I kept to that promise. Instead, as we continued living together acting as strangers.
I met someone one day as I was carrying grocery bags to my car in the parking lot.
His name was Charlie McCain, the love of my life.
The kindest, sweetest, smartest, strongest man I grew to love and cherish.
While my husband was away we'd be at my house and have dates and explore the world while my husband was on business trips.
Daniel didn't deserve me, and I didn't deserve him. I think Daniel knew we didn't match as a couple.
And he knew I brought Charlie over because I wouldn't hide my feelings about him.
On the bright side, I had gotten pregnant with Charlie's son, my new born life.
But before Anthony was born, Charlie was killed in a hit and run incident.
It had torn me apart knowing the father of my child was gone.
The only father figure my son had had was Daniel.
The worst man I'd ever been with.
But he made Anthony happy, and was by my side when he was born.
But Charlie must've been right there next to me when his son was born.
The pain wasn't as hard as knowing Charlie couldn't be there to hold his son in his arms.
Tears had "broken" out of my eyes as I held my son for the very first time.
Daniel had arranged for him to study abroad, and to be the heir to his company.
I was against it, but he wouldn't hear me and told his men to take Anthony to California to begin his studies.
I never even got to be with Anthony for his 5th birthday and from then on.
Daniel had sucked the life out of me when he took my baby away from me.
But he didn't stop right there.
He did much worse after my son was out of the picture.
Stay tuned for more chapters, if I can learn to do that. :)