It was an accident.
Just because she had liked it, that didn't mean that she had meant for it to happen…not initially.
It was an obvious mistake that could have happened to anyone. Ok, maybe not anyone.
Regina blamed it on her lack of sleep and high alcohol consumption. Or maybe it was her daily dose of the drought of peace (DOP) potion that Maleficent had taught her how to make (it really took the edge off). These could be the only 3 possible explanations for why Regina had found herself screaming Emma's name as she masturbated to lesbian porn and came loudly for the seventh night in a row.
Ever since she'd left Robin for good, all she'd done was work, drink, eat, get high, repeat. Actually he had left her. Again.
Despite her best efforts she couldn't stop thinking of her trip to New York with Emma 3 months ago. Just when she'd talked Emma down from the ledge of darkness, she'd gotten the call from Mal that Gold had stolen Belle's heart back.
She had gone from being scared and worried about Emma to frantic about Hood in 3 seconds flat. It was like emotional whiplash.
She was so scared for Robin Hood that as they'd rushed to his apartment, her palms were sweaty yet her mouth was quite dry. It had felt like her heart was trying to jump free from its cage with how violently it was pumping against her chest. She had only been vaguely aware of Emma's bright blue eyes occasionally surveying her intensely every time the yellow bug had stopped at a red light.
Regina had been in a daze; she couldn't help but think that Robin Hood was about to end up just like Daniel. She kept having flashes of Zelena ripping out his heart in front of her just like Cora had done to Daniel. And it would be all her fault. If she'd just gone into the tavern all those years ago…
The rest of the memory of the trip was mostly a blur except for the one part that she couldn't forget. The part that was actually worse than if Zelena had just ripped Robin's heart out in front of her. The one image that was fixed in her brain no matter how much she drank or worked or got high-Robin Hood and Zelena's happy faces as her sister announced that she was pregnant with her soulmate's child. Zelena was giving Robin Hood something she could never give him- a child.
After all of the concern Regina had shown Robin, it turned out he knew it was Zelena all along, and he had fallen in love with her. So much for happy endings. Her heart was broken. Again. She'd lost everything. Again.
Well…not quite everything.
She still had Henry and Emma.
Regina laughed to herself and shook her head as she considered that thought. Emma had really surprised her. She'd kept her word and seen Operation Mongoose all the way through.
She'd finally had her back.
It wasn't Emma's fault that Regina wasn't good enough for Robin Hood, that Regina had somehow found a way to be the only person in history to not end up with her soul mate.
Deep down, Regina knew she deserved this punishment after all of the evil she had committed, but she had started to have hope, and that false hope is what made her feel even more pain than the first time she'd lost her happiness.
Henry, Emma hell even The Charmings had made Regina feel like she had somehow made up for what she'd done in the past, that she'd deserved a happy ending.
But of course it didn't work out that way for her.
Nothing ever did.
Whether she was good or evil- it didn't matter- she would never get her happy ending.
So that's why she had been avoiding everyone in town for 3 months and drinking, getting high and overworking herself as mayor. She couldn't bear to see all of those peasants with their happy endings, smiling and laughing with their families and significant others.
She couldn't possibly face Emma and Hook. Those two together especially made Regina sick to her stomach, and she could never really figure out why.
Maybe it was the guyliner.
Despite the depression, she still felt extremely horny all of the time. She'd read online that sex drives often decreased during depression, but her body had gotten the wrong memo. Instead of decreasing, her sex drive seemed to increase to the maximum speed. It was like her frustration and pain only intensified her need for sex.
She'd always had a huge sex drive. As a Queen, she could get sex whenever she wanted, usually from Graham or some other attractive prisoner and often without their consent, but with her newfound morality and without Robin Hood in her life anymore, she'd had to resort to porn.
She'd first discovered porn a couple of years ago after she'd disposed of Graham for choosing Emma over her, which is why it was ironic that Emma was who Regina was thinking of as she currently masturbated to the scenes on her laptop screen.
It didn't really mean anything though.
It was just that the woman on screen reminded her of Emma with her long blond hair, bright blue eyes and exquisitely toned physique. It didn't matter that Regina had begun purposely picking out only porn that featured these kinds of women who reminded her of Emma.
That was irrelevant.
And it wasn't like any of this was her fault anyways.
One night when she'd been pretty out of it and wanted to pleasure herself quickly before passing out in her bed, she opted to try something different in her porn browsing- threesomes.
She'd watched this kind of porn before with two men and one woman, but on that night she'd accidentally clicked on a link featuring 2 women and 1 man.
Initially, Regina started to navigate to another movie, but something stopped her.
Those eyes on one of the women. They were extremely sexy and captivating. They reminded her of someone, but she couldn't think of who at first.
As she continued to watch, she realized that her body was heating up and she was actually getting the wettest that she'd been in a very long time.
Her eyes studied the full breasts of the blond woman, and she realized that she'd very much like to touch them, just to feel how soft they were and to lick them just to see how they tasted- salty or sweet? She'd noticed the sexy, flat stomach and nice, firm but plump ass and allowed her mind to really wonder freely, for the first time in her life, what it would be like to have sex with a woman. What it would feel like to have her skin rub up against the clearly soft and silky tanned skin of the other woman's.
The women continued to kiss each other slowly and passionately, using their tongues effectively but not excessively. The kissing alone had turned her on- it wasn't fast and sloppy like the kisses in most straight porn films. And as the kissing intensified, the women made the most glorious purring noises as if making love to another woman was the most pleasurable experience in the world.
And in that moment, Regina believed them.
When she came, she moaned and screamed louder than she'd ever had before. It wasn't until she came back down from her climax that she realized who the woman had reminded her of.
Emma.