Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
Cold ravaged at my gut, pulling at my heart with its icy grip. Hunger made my mind weak, wanting my belly to rumble, but not finding the strength for even that. My eyes were slits in my face, the brown-walled nursery around me blurry with starvation. Even the smallest movement brought pain shooting through my heart. I tried to struggle my way to Mom's stomach, but my paws flailed out from under my body, leaving me helplessly splayed on the ground.
Like my fathers come to pass
Seven years has gone so fast
Wake me up when September ends
"Hollykit," Mom said, trying her best to comfort me, but her voice crackling with fright. Her tail, cold and skeletally thin with malnutrition brushed over me, pushing me to her belly.
I tried to find a place to suckle, and my mouth latched onto one. Tiredly, I tried to drink in warm, comforting milk, even though part of me knew none would come. Sure enough, my tongue only got the tiniest of drops of milk, but I swallowed it heartily, not caring that it would probably be the only food I would get all day.
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
I felt Birchkit inching his way towards me, his bigger body pushing up against mine as if I didn't have a choice, and that he would be there no matter what went wrong. I tried to thank him, but pain pulled at me again, and only a squeak emerged, even quieter than that of a dragonfly's wings beating at the air. Exhaustion made my body go rigid, and my head fell to my paws. No complaint of pain came from me, only the silent thanks of rest. My eyelids threatened to droop, but I willed them not to. If I were to sleep, I knew that I might not wake.
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
Thoughts ravaged through my head, but none of them were fear. I mean, there was fear – fear that I felt from Mom; fear that I felt from Birchkit; fear that I felt from Father whenever he visited – but no fear of death. Death would be like a pleasure, ridding me of this pain and suffering I have felt for so long.
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
I heard raindrops splattering on the roof of the nursery, trickling through the unkept roof and splashing on the ground near us. I tried to inch my way closer up against Birchkit, and it suddenly hit me. What would Birchkit do if I were to die? How would he handle it? Would he grieve like Mom and Father did when Larchkit died? My slowly beating heart ached, not just with hunger this time. How would our parents cope if Birchkit or I were to leave like Larchkit did? We barely remembered the weakest kit of our litter, but still felt a burning loss. That's why Birchkit and I were so close. But, if I were to leave, would I be cast away and forgotten like our brother was? I must have struggled against the thoughts or something, because Birchkit next to me slowly licked my ears.
His whisper was hoarse and crackling, barely audible from the rain outside. Sorrow radiated in his voice, and made a tear run down my cheek, landing on my paws with surprising warmth.
"I'll never forget you, Hollykit. You'll always be in my heart."
He must have known what I was thinking. Was he accepting my death as was I? I slowly turned my head towards the brown tabby, my neck shaking with the effort. The slightest smile tugged at my mouth, and my whiskers brushed his face as I leaned in towards him.
Ring out the bells again
Like we did when spring began
Wake me up when September ends
"I'll never forget you, either, Birchkit."
Here comes the rain again
Falling from the stars
Drenched in my pain again
Becoming who we are
I'll never forget how quiet my voice was. The emotion I felt in my words burned through my body. Some of it was emotion I've never felt before. Love. Hate. Grief. Happiness. Joy. Anger. Acceptance. Peace. Friendship... And suddenly, I knew I would never feel them. Surprise tugged at my head, making me look at my brother. My eyes grew wider than they had since I had been born. I felt them sparkle, in a way that made Birchkit lock eyes with me, and something passed between us. Slowly, he turned away, and so did I. New energy flowed through my limbs, and I dragged myself next to Mom, my dusky gray pelt melting with her's. I tried to picture Father's loving face, the warm brown eyes, and the soft, downy fur.
As my memory rests
But never forgets what I lost
Wake me up when September ends
"I'm sorry, Father," I whispered into the wind, hoping it would reach his ears.
Summer has come and passed
The innocent can never last
Wake me up when September ends
"I'm sorry, Mom," I whispered, brushing my muzzle against her fur.
Like my fathers come to pass
Twenty years has come too fast
Wake me up when September ends
My eyelids felt heavy, and I felt a strange feeling pull at my gut. I heard the rain falling softer, I smelled the smell of the nursery drift away, and I felt the warmth of Mom's fur being pulled away.
Wake me up when September ends
I turned my head to my brother. My brother. My brother. The brother I would never know more. We would never become warriors together, even apprentices together. A shimmering tear came to my eyes, wide and blue as I looked at my brother. I felt tiredness pull at my limbs, making my eyes close, relief shining before me. I felt a warm smile looking down at me, like all of the cats I've ever known. I turned my dimming eyes to my brother's, my eyes twinkling with tears.
Wake me up when September ends
"I'm sorry, Birchkit. I'm sorry. I'll never forget you..." And my body drifted into sleep, a slumber from which I would never wake.
Finally. Finally, I was at peace.