CRazY/Beautiful
Chapter 1: Alone
Sometimes you wonder what would have happened. The sense burns deeply in your thoughts; you catch yourself believing in the vision more than you realize. You yearn for a second chance; you want this vision to be so real, that you think of nothing else. You never take in your surroundings. When your life takes a turn for the worst it's almost like you have put yourself into a coma. You lose track of time; never realizing that your whole existence has changed.
The people around you start to worry. You start to lose control of your own life. People start to take drastic measures.
The emptiness in my chest burns day and night. You want to scream but you know that it will only make it worse. You want to run until your legs give out but you can't go anywhere. I want so badly to see his face again. I want my guardian angel to wrap his cold arms around me like always. I wanted to see him smile and tell me he loved me.
Edward Cullen left exactly one year ago. Has it really been that long? Ever since I have felt like I have died in the inside. I do not care about what I look like or who is talking. I finished out school alone with only Angela and Ben as friends. Angela always seemed to keep me surfaced although the yearning for him came back to me everyday I woke up.
The Cullen were apart of my life. I knew that the rest of the family still loved me. I knew that some how Edward still loved me even if he didn't realize it. He made his whole family leave because he believed that it was going to be good for me. He told me that he didn't want me anymore; that he didn't love me. I began to spiral down hill from there. For awhile I was in denial; telling Charlie that nothing happened and that Edward was coming back. I wanted him so badly that I began to take my truck out and visit their barren home. They left the door open so I would walk in. I would tour the house at least five times a day. I even tried to find the meadow and I succeeded. I visited that meadow everyday. I would spend all day there even. Even when it would rain I sat and let the rain drench me while I cried.
I was not the same person I was. Jacob started to come over because Charlie told him that it would cheer me up. It didn't help. The pain would worsen and I would end up running and ending up in the truck and driving. Nothing seemed to make me better so I am miserable to this day. It seemed as though Edward thought he was giving me a piece of my life that I would have never had with him. Instead he took away all of it. I was empty and almost ghost like. I never realized how much of an impact he and his family had taken on me.
The only vampires I have seen in the past few months were the Volturi. They came to check on me and to make sure I hadn't told anyone about the Cullen's. They stopped coming just recently because I was in fact expecting to see them last week but they never came.
I guess you could say I am nothing like Bella anymore. Oh how I loved for Edward to say my name. I yearned for it too much one day and Charlie had noticed. He had been worried for a long time and I guess this just tipped him off. I wasn't Bella anymore. I was Isabella Swan Rm. 303 suicidal unit patient number 202 and I am currently living in an asylum.