Disclaimer: I do NOT own Durarara! Or any character or component contained within. It all belongs to Ryohgo Narita. I make NO money off of writing in this fandom.

Disclaimer 2: I do NOT own the musical Avenue Q or the song "The More You Ruv Someone". That belongs to Jeff Whitty (book writer), and Robert Lopez and Jeff Marx (music and lyrics). I make NO money off of using that song here. *Note* Some of the lyrics have been changed to fit better. Still not mine.

000

Heiwajima Shizuo stormed down the streets of Ikebukuro. That damn flea just had to come back to the city and show his smug, arrogant face around him. Hadn't Shizuo warned him to stay the hell out of Ikebukuro? Didn't the flea learn? No, of course not. That would be silly. Orihara Izaya was nothing more then a troublemaking rat that stepped on the toes of the wrong person, and found it humorous to do it repeatedly. If there was anything about him that Shizuo hated more then the stupid smirk on his face, or that voice that grated on his nerves, it was his psyche-shattering laugh of his. That laugh that said 'I know I'm a sadistic bastard and that I'm causing trouble for you and everyone else, but I simply don't give a damn and don't need to do so'. It was irritating. That being said, whether the flea lived or died was no concern to the blonde, so long as he stayed away if he was alive. It was Izaya that caused most of their problems, not him, so therefore Izaya should be the one to pay for it.

000

Having begun walking with no destination in mind, Shizuo quite quickly found himself outside the apartment building where Shinra, his best friend and a doctor, lived with Celty; a headless Dullahan who was searching for her missing head. He sighed and made his way to the main gate. Pushing it aside, he groaned as he heard thunder rumble across the sky as the pitter patter of rain began to fall. He didn't bother rushing in and opened the door to the building. The elevator on the left took him up to Shinra's apartment on the penthouse floor. He rapped his knuckles on the door and waited for someone to answer.

The door peeled open and a woman dressed in all black with a blue and yellow helmet opened it. It was Celty. She typed something onto a cellular phone and showed it to him.

"Shizuo-san? What are you doing here? Are you injured?" The text read.

"Ah, no." Shizuo rubbed the back of his neck. "I was just on a walk and thought I'd stop by…perfect timing, too. It's starting to rain."

She typed on the phone again. "I thought I heard rain. Come in." She stepped to the side and the strongest man in Ikebukuro walked in past her.

"Who is it, Celty?" Shinra's voice asked from the back.

"You know she can't answer you." Shizuo snorted. "Why bother asking?"

Shizuo poked his head into the living room from behind the wall. "Ah, Shizuo!" He greeted with a grin. "We were just about to sit down for dinner! Care to join us?" He vanished behind the wall.

"Yeah, why not?" Shizuo flopped down on the couch unceremoniously.

Celty sat down next to him and typed on her phone before showing him the screen. Shizuo looked at it out of the corner of his eye so the blue lenses he was wearing wouldn't obscure the lettering in any way.

"Something wrong? You seem different today."

"Nothing's wrong." He denied. "The Fleas back in town, but that's it."

"Oh, Izaya-san is back?" Shinra wondered from the kitchen. "I hope you two haven't caused any damage to the city yet!"

"Does a mailbox becoming part of a bank's structure count as damage?"

"Not funny, Shizuo. You have to stop doing that."

"I'll stop being aggressive and fighting back when the Flea stops pestering me."

"You should be the better man."

"Why do I have to be the one to put a stop to this? He starts it, so he should finish it."

"That's exactly why you should be the one to stop it." Shinra replied, appearing in the doorway with two plates of food. "You know he never will. Izaya hates to lose." He joined his friends and sat down.

"I'm not a fan of it, either."

Celty's helmet moved back and forth as if she were shaking her head. She typed angrily on her phone before showing it to him. "One of you needs to grow up."

"Why does it need to be me? None of this would have happened if he didn't start his bullshit." Shinra ran his fingers through his dyed blonde hair. "I swear to god, he gets off on this."

"Why would you say such a thing?"

"I didn't know you thought about Izaya getting off at all, Shizuo." Shinra gave his friend a smirk before laughing at the rage in his eyes and going back to his food. Whether he made Shizuo angry or not, they both knew that Shinra was one of the few people he'd never hurt; the others being Celty and his younger brother.

"Shut up." Shizuo took his plate of food and began eating as well.

"You know, Shizuo, for as much as you hate Izaya…"

"Yes?" Shizuo glared at the doctor.

"Well…" Shinra swallowed his food and gave Shizuo a sheepish grin. "You do talk about him a lot…"

"Only when he bugs me." Shizuo took a sip of the drink Shinra had placed in front of him.

"Well, you talk about him so much…it's like you actually like him."

Shizuo spit his water out over the coffee table, sprinkling it with water and backwash.

"Shizuo!" Celty scolded via text.

"What did you say, Shinra?" Shizuo glared, angrily slamming his cup down on the coffee table.

"I said that you talk about Izaya so much, it's like you actually like him." Shinra repeated himself.

Celty shook her head. "You're an idiot." She showed him on her cell phone.

"How the hell could I like that stupid Flea?" Shizuo glared. "He's a horrible nuisance and a selfish, egotistical, sadistic bastard. You know I try to kill him at any chance I get. But he keeps bouncing back like a cockroach, no matter how hard I squash him."

"Well, you know, Shizuo, love and hate are two sides of the same coin." Shinra smiled softly.

"Now you're accusing me of loving the guy?" Shizuo glared. "You want to die, don't you?"

"So it would appear." Celty wrote.

"No, no, it's not that!" Shinra waved his hands in front of him to show he meant no harm. "I'm just trying to lighten the mood, you know?"

"Well telling me that I love Izaya is definitely the way to do it." Shizuo grunted, shoveling some food into his mouth. "Seriously, Shinra, you don't think."

Shinra laughed nervously. "A bad habit for a doctor to get into."

Shizuo glared and went back to eating. With a sigh, Shinra did the same. Celty shook her head and leaned back into the couch. This was going to be a long night.

000

An hour later, Shizuo lay back against Shinra's couch; lounging and tilting his head back to sleep. The doctor was filling out some paperwork by hand while Celty worked on the computer behind them on the counter. He couldn't believe how Shinra just blurted out that he thought Shizuo had feelings for the damn flea. Ugh, the very thought was disgusting. Not that he particularly had an issue or cared in the slightest for sexuality, but the thought of the flea meaning anything to him outside of a good punching bag made him sick to his stomach. There was no way he could like that thing. He was a sadistic, manipulative, cold, calculating, trouble-causing asshole. Why would Shizuo like something like that? Especially something like that that had some sort of personal vendetta against him, and did things like framing him for being his accomplice in various crimes, or showing up at his work to embarrass him and make him lose his cool (and thus lose his job). The thought was sickening.

"Something on your mind, Shizuo?" Shinra wondered, twirling a pen with his fingers. "You've sighed at least six times already."

Shizuo glared at him. "You bother me." He informed.

"Oh, was I making too much noise? Sorry, Shizuo…"

"No, not that." Shizuo denied.

Celty typed on her cell phone and walked over to show Shinra.

"Oh, you think it's that?" Shinra wondered he tapped his pen against his chin in thought. "Is it that, Shizuo?"

"Is it what?"

Celty showed him the phone as well. "I think he's still mad about what you said about him loving Izaya."

"Yeah, it's that." Shizuo glared. "How could you even think that, let alone have the guts to say it in my presence?"

Shinra glared. "It's not uncommon for people to develop feelings for the one that they hate the most, you know. Like I said, they're sides of the same coin."

"Not in this case." Shizuo argued. "I'd love nothing more then to see him finally squashed like the insignificant flea he is. Just once, I'd like to get my hands on him…"

Shinra cocked an eyebrow and tried to hide his snickering, but it was obvious.

"And strangle the life out of him. No more vending machines or street signs being flung at his head. No. Just a god, old fashioned, fist to face beating."

"You'd actually want to touch him at all?"

"I'd disinfect like crazy after that, but yeah, I'd like to hit him just once."

Shinra snickered. "Shizuo…"

"If you value your life, don't say it again."

"I'm sorry, but it's just so hard to resist." Shinra replied. "You know, Izaya gets a kick out of it, too. I've seen the look in his eyes when you go after him with whatever blunt object you can find."

"Yeah, he likes antagonizing me."

"It's not just that. He enjoys antagonizing a lot of people." Shinra shook his head. "I've never seen that look I his eyes for fighting anyone but you. He can be as calm and cool and collected as he likes, but his eyes betray him. Look for it the next time you see him. That little sparkle. Not a mischievous one, just more of a 'oh, it's about to happen again. I can't wait' kind of sparkle."

"Now you're insinuating that he might have feelings for me?" Shizuo rolled his eyes at the doctor. "Disgusting, Shinra." He closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the couch again.

"Well, I'm not saying you two are in love or anything like that. But you have to admit it, Shizuo; you put the same passion into hating him that you would in loving someone. You know?"

Shizuo glared. "No, I don't know, and I wish you'd stop insisting that you're right."

"Alright, alright."

"Seriously, how could you even think that? How can you hate someone you love?" Shizuo shook his head.

"I hate my father…" Shinra stated. "He's always so…ugh…I still can't believe he stole and sold Celty's head…"

"Not as much as I hate Izaya, I can assure you."

"No one hates anyone as much as you hate Izaya." Celty pointed out.

Shizuo had to laugh. "Yeah, I guess you're right."

"It's not entirely impossible." Shinra went on. "To go back to my earlier point."

"It's the very definition of impossible." Shizuo glared. "You can't love and hate someone at the same time. Simple as that."

"Oh, Shizuo, so naïve." Shinra laughed. "Perhaps I should explain myself a little better?"

"What are you talking about?"

"Simple…" Shinra grinned.

"The more you love someone

The more you want to kill them." He began singing.

"Is he seriously singing this?" Shinra looked at Celty, who shrugged in response.

"The more you love someone

The more he makes you cry."

"Izaya doesn't make me cry…he pisses me off…"

"Though you are trying

To make your peace

With them and love them…"

"Are you on something?"

"That's why your love's so strong

You want to get him killed."

"I'd love to kill him, but I don't see your point here…"

"Stop fighting it, Shizuo. He isn't going to stop any time soon."

Shizuo sighed in defeat, knowing the Dullahan was right.

"The more you love someone

The more he makes you crazy

The more you love someone

The more you wish he was dead."

"Yeah, I do want him dead, but not because I love the ass…"

"Sometime you look at him

And only see a smug asshole…"

"Got that right."

"And you want a baseball bat

To hit him over the head…"

"Or any blunt object, really."

"Love…and hate…they're like two brothers…who go on a date."

"What?" Shizuo gave Shinra a look of disgust. "Are you really that sick?"

"Where one of them goes

The other will follow.

If you're bringing love,

He's bringing sorrow…"

"Uh…"

"The more you love someone

The more you want to kill them."

"That really makes no sense…"

"Loving and killing

Fit like a glove."

"Are you insane?"

"So if there's someone

You are wanting to see killed."

"Yeah, you're insane."

"You go and find him

And you get him."

"I'd like to get him, alright…"

"But you don't kill him."

"Why not?"

"Cause the chance is good

That's he's your love."

Shizuo glared at the doctor. "Are you just about finished?" Shinra paused for a moment, then nodded.

"You're a bigger moron then I thought." Shizuo's words were the only warning before he punched his friend on the right cheek.

Shinra fell backwards onto the couch and stared up at the blonde, holding his cheek. "Wow, I didn't think you'd actually strike me."

Shizuo stood. "Thanks for dinner…" He left without saying a word; neither the doctor or headless woman daring to chase after him.

Celty rushed to Shinra's side. "Are you hurt?"

"No, he didn't use his full strength. Just a bit of a sting." Shinra rubbed his face. "I can't believe he actually hit me."

"You were asking for it."

"That may be. But still, I'm his friend. You shouldn't hit your friends."

"You do when they start singing about how you could possibly love your arch enemy. You didn't think, did you, Shinra?"

"I thought he'd get a kick out of my attempt at singing and he wouldn't be so mad anymore."

Celty lightly slugged him in the shoulder and shook her head.

000

God damn that Shinra! How dare he insist that Shizuo liked Izaya. Of all the people in Ikebukuro, why in the hell would Shizuo choose Izaya fucking Orihara as the object of his affections? The very thought made him sick to his core. Disgusting.

"Oh, hello there, Shizu-chan." A familiar, grating voice greeted him. "So strange to see you in this side of town."

Shizuo cringed. Speak of the devil, and the devil shall appear. He looked over his shoulder to see Izaya perched on a bench, happily munching away at something out of a brown paper bag. The raven haired man smiled at him.

"Aren't you even going to great me with a 'hello'? That's common courtesy. Or do you not know what that even is, eh?"

"I don't have time for your games, Izaya." Shizuo snarled. "I'm out of here." He threw up an arm to wave the brat off as he walked past him.

"Come now, Shizuo, is that any way to treat an old friend?" The shorter male was behind him in a flash. "At least say 'Hi, Izaya'. Come on, you know you want to."

Shizuo stopped in his tracks and tried to regain his composure. "Do you want something, flea?"

"Well, now, that's not very nice." Izaya sighed. "Can't I just stop by good old Ikebukuro to visit some old friends?"

"We were never friends, Izaya. Quit wasting my time."

"My, my. So edgy today. Why, I haven't even done anything to bother you, and yet here you are, acting all rude." Izaya tsked. "Can't you act civilized for once? Or are you always a monster, hm?"

Shizuo growled and pinched the bridge of his nose. "I'm not in the mood for this. You and your damn mind games."

"Who says I'm playing mind games?" Izaya walked around until he was in front of Shizuo. He stood on his toes and rocked a little. "I'm just trying to have a conversation with you. Instead of you trying to kill me and me running away for once."

Shizuo sighed heavily and glared at the younger male through blue lenses. "Get. Lost. Flea."

"You really are rude." Izaya's face bore his trademark smirk as he glared back at the blonde. "It's almost as off-putting of that brutish strength of yours."

Shizuo took a step forward. "What did you say, Flea?" He wondered, tilting his head to better look down on his rival.

"You heard me. Brutish strength." The flea laughed at the look of rage in Shizuo's eyes.

"Don't you ever shut your goddamn mouth?"

"Hm…" Izaya pretended to ponder the idea for a few minutes. "No, I suppose I don't. It gets boring when someone isn't talking or doing something. Gotta keep up my interest or I'll just walk off."

"Maybe you should stop talking, then, so you'll get the hell away from me."

"Not likely, Shizu-chan."

Despite the blue lenses, Shizuo could see red in front of him. How dare this stupid flea pull this on him? He was only going to antagonize Shizuo into throwing something at him and then chasing him when he ran, causing thousands of dollars in damages to the city that they didn't even bother trying to make him pay. It was such a hassle.

"What's got you so agitated, Shizu-chan? You seemed annoyed before I even spoke to you, so I know it's not all me. Did something happen to you? Did the brute get…hurt?" Izaya faked a gasp before laughing and taking a step backwards. "Oh, I'm sorry. I just couldn't resist. But really, what's got you all hot under the collar, Shizu-chan?"

Shizuo glared. "Your existence."

Izaya huffed. "Not funny. I know it's more then me breathing that's got you on edge. So what is it? I'm curious to know. So I can wipe out my competition." Izaya whipped out his switchblade and held Shizuo's chin up with it. "Come on…tell me…" He practically purred.

Shizuo smirked. Maybe there was a way to shut him Izaya after all.

"What's so amusing?" Izaya was clearly annoyed by the blonde's refusal to answer him.

"You don't need that to find out what it is." Shizuo shoved his hand that held the blade away from him.

"Oh?" Izaya warily put away his knife. "So, you're going to tell me, then?"

"I could be considering it, yes." Shizuo looked around or make sure there was no one nearby. Thankfully, it was late and no one was really around for that time of night.

"What? Hiding from someone?" The flea sounded almost possessive with his words.

"Ah hell."

Shinra wasn't right, was he? There was no way Izaya had feelings for Shizuo. He was just pissed off because something else was holding Shizuo's attention and ti wasn't all focused on him. Narcissistic brat…

"Well? Aren't you going to tell me, Shizu-chan?" Izaya all but pouted.

"I suppose." Shizuo stepped closer and he could swear he saw Izaya hold his breath in anticipation.

"Not much of an answer."

"Whya re you flinching?"
"I'm not flinching…"

Shizuo chuckled. "I beg to differ." He shoved his hands into his pants pockets so he wouldn't be tempted to strangle the life out of those cold, chocolate colored eyes or hit him across the face to knock the waning smirk completely off of him.

"S-Shizu-chan…you're acting strangely…are you feeling alright?"

Shizuo took a step forward. "Why are you backing away, Flea? Are you afraid of me?"

"Me? Afraid of you?" Izaya laughed nervously. "Don't make me laugh, Shizu-chan." He stood tall. "You know I can just outrun you any day."

Shizuo continued to back him up until the back of his knees were pressed against the bench he had been sitting on when Shizuo had crossed his path. "So why don't you?" Shizuo wondered.

Izaya forced himself to stand up tall and not waver. He couldn't let Shizuo think he got the upper hand this time, even though he clearly did. He wouldn't have if it wasn't for that half crazed, half dazed look in the blonde's eyes that confused the crap out of the informant. He'd never seen that look in Shizuo's eyes before. It was fascinating, alarming, intriguing, and confusing all in one. Izaya was supposed to be an expert on everyone and everything in the city; Shizuo included. How could he have never seen this look before? How was there any information on the blonde that he didn't know?

"I don't need to, of course." Izaya huffed, trying to sound annoyed.

Shizuo took one more step so that there was only a slight gap between them. Izaya flushed and leaned away a bit, before straightening up to match his nose to Shizuo's and join him in their little stare down. Two could play at this game. Shizuo sighed. He really had to be out of his mind to do this, but…

The blonde tilted his head down to lightly press his lips to the informant. Izaya's eyes shot open and he remained frozen in place. A few seconds passed before Shizuo pulled away and wiped his mouth on the back of his shirt sleeve.

"Stupid doctor." He muttered.

Izaya blinked. "Doctor?"

Shizuo said nothing and turned around to walk away. The blonde was only a few steps away when Izaya's voice broke through the silence.

"Why?" The informant wondered.

"Why what?"

"Why did you do that?" Izaya questioned again. "Damn it, Shizuo." He wiped his hand on his shirt as well.

In his annoyance, he forgot the nickname that the blonde hated so much.

"Damn it what?" Shizuo glared over his shoulder. "Don't tell me that was your first or something."

Izaya flushed.

"Pathetic." Shizuo shook his head. "But then again, I'm not exactly surprised. Who in their right mind would do anything of that nature with you of all people?"

"Apparently you."

"Just testing a theory. Glad to know it was false." Shizuo continued walking off, leaving a stunned Izaya in his wake.

"What the fuck was that about?" Izaya asked the air, looking up to the crescent moon that hung brightly in the late night sky. "Damn doctor…?"

Knowing that could only be one person, Izaya turned on his heel and skipped merrily down the road towards Shinra's house. The perverted underground doctor had a lot of explaining to do.

000

Shinra's phone buzzed about half an hour after Shizuo left his apartment. The doctor set down his pen and rubbed at his eyes before grabbing the phone to answer. Looking at it and reading the message, it only took him a second to process it, and he proceeded to laugh. He fell over on the couch as Celty looked up from the computer.

"What is wrong with you?" She wondered, showing him her cellular phone.

"Shi-Shizuo…" The doctor laughed, holding onto his sides. "He ran into Izaya." The doctor continued to laugh. "H-Here…hee-hee…" He showed Celty his phone.

She read the message. "I ran into Izaya. Kissed him. You were wrong, pervert. Never sing that to me again." The message read.

Celty put her hand where her mouth would be if her head were attached to hide her laughter before texting onto the phone for Shinra to see.

"I can't believe he actually acted because of you."

"Me neither." Shinra wiped tears from his eyes. "Oh man, I'd love to know what Izaya's reaction was."

The pounding on the door told him that he'd soon get his answer. Shinra stood and wiped off his clothes before going to the door and opening it. when he saw the black haired male behind the door, he broke into a huge grin.

"Ah, Izaya!" He greeted. "What brings you here?"

Izaya retorted by punching him in the stomach. The doctor doubled over in pain, holding where he'd been hit as Izaya walked in past him.

"You deserved it." Celty wrote, joining the doctor's side to close the door and help him stand.

"What in the fuck did you tell Shizuo?!" Izaya glared. "The brute freaking kissed me! Ugh!"

"Nothing different then what I told you." Shinra forced himself to speak as Celty helped him to the couch to sit. "I tried to convince him that his hatred for you stemmed out of some twisted form of love. He wouldn't listen and stormed off."

"Damn it, Shinra, when I tell you something in confidence, you're not supposed to go and blab it to the guy it's about!" He pointed out the window. "What did you tell him!? He acted strangely towards me, then he just freaking kissed me. Took all I had to not melt right then and there, damn it!"

"I told him that I think your hatred for him stems from love as well."

Izaya's eye twitched. "Are you crazy?! I'm lucky he doesn't kill me!"

"He won't. he thinks I'm full of shit about your feelings too. Besides, he kissed you…I mean…shouldn't you be thanking me?"

If Celty wasn't in the way, Izaya would've hit him again for that.

"I hate you…"

"Or do you love me?"

Izaya glared. "Not now, Shinra." He huffed. "I swear, I am not telling you a damn thing about myself ever again." he stormed to the door and walked out, slamming the door as hard as he could behind him.

Celty looked at Shinra and showed him what she was writing on his phone. "I told you this would end badly."

"Hey, all I did was plant a little seed of a thought into Shizuo's mind. Now all I have to do is watch that seed fester and grow into a tree and see what he does with it. Izaya will be thanking me once this is all over and done with. Promise."

Celty showed him her phone. "You're nuts, Shinra. Really, truly nuts."

"That may be so, and yet, people keep coming to me for information, and I continue to be right…don't I?"

Celty shook her head and stood. "One day your pride will catch up to you, and the ending result will not be pretty." She warned, before leaving towards the bathroom for her shower.

"Good things come to those who wait, Celty." Shinra smiled and returned to his paperwork. For once, he'd outsmart Izaya and Shizuo.

~Six days earlier~

Izaya lay sideways on Shinra's couch, crossing his legs and kicking one in the air as he folded his arms under his head. He didn't know what possessed him to come to Shinra of all people, but it was better to go to a friend then some random person he met on the streets. At least Shinra didn't charge you unless he had to do anything related to a medical condition.

"So what exactly is wrong, now?" Shinra wondered, leaning his chin in his hands. "I'm not quite sure I follow you, Izaya."

"I think I've made myself quite clear here, Shinra." Izaya glared, turning his head sideways to face the doctor.

"You…enjoy…pissing off Shizuo, not just to see his strength in play and gain an advantage over him by learning information about him that you can use against him later…but because you like his attention?"

Izaya sighed. "It sounds even stupider when you say it." He turned his head away.

"Well, I can't say I'm surprised." Shinra adjusted his glasses. "I mean, I've seen that look in your eyes whenever you two fight. I've seen it from the moment you met. Before either of you said a word to one another, you looked at him and had that look in your eyes…"

"So what do you think is wrong with me? Not enough attention at a child because I had to take care of my sisters and my parents were never there?"

Shinra thought it over. "It's certainly possible that that is the case. But it could also be the case that you…well…"

"What?" Izaya glared. "Don't hold back. You're not good at that."

"Well." Shinra smiled lightly. "Perhaps it's not the attention that you love…but Shizuo."

A few moments passed before Izaya burst into manic laughter. As quickly as his laughter started, it ended. "You've got to be kidding me."

Shinra shrugged. "It makes sense. You know, love and hate are two sides of the same coin."

Izaya cocked an eyebrow. "You've got to be kidding me." He repeated himself. "You honestly think I could ever love that monster? Please, Shinra, don't kid yourself. I love humans, not Shizu-chan."

"He's human, too."

Izaya snorted. "Don't insult my perfect little humans." He ordered. "Shizu-chan is not one of them."

"Izaya, you even have a nickname for him."

"Only because it pisses him off." Izaya chuckled. "You don't get it, do you? I like figure out what makes people tick, but Shizu-chan is not someone I can easily read. That's why I need to anger him; so I can study his aggression and see just how his mind works. That's just the way it is. It's not because I love him, but it's because I want to know anything and everything about anyone and anyone…including the monsters that ruin the prefect little world I've made for my perfect little humans."

"Don't you realize that you're the reason he causes such damage? 98% of the time, it's you that pisses him off."

"My presence pisses him off."

"There's a simple way to resolve that…"

Izaya rolled his eyes. "It's not like I live here. I still live in Shinjuku. I just happen to come by and visit whenever something strikes my interest. It's not my fault that I run into Shizu-chan sometimes. I swear, he has some Izaya-based radar to detect me."

"Or he sees unexplainable stuff happening and figures it's your doing…he'd be right 100 percent of the time if that's the case."

Izaya huffed and closed his eyes. "Simple, Doc, I don't have feelings for Shizu-chan. I just like the attention."

"You can get attention from anywhere."

"So?"

"You choose to get it from him."

"Because I need to study him!" Izaya sat up and spun so his feet were on the floor. "What don't you get about that, Shinra? He's a fabulous specimen."

Shinra snickered.

"What are…oh, you're a sick man!" Izaya stood with a snap and pointed at the doctor. "I don't even know why I came in here to talk to you about it, of all people."

"Because I'm the only one in town that knows both you and Shizuo enough to be of any assistance?"

Izaya blinked. "I suppose…the informant needing an informant…sickening…"

"I'm more of a counselor then an informant, Izaya. That's your department."

"Yes, well…" Izaya paused. "Whatever. Point is, I do not love or even like Shizu-chan, and that's that. I just wish I knew what was wrong with me." He started towards the door.

"It's called love, Izaya." Shinra insisted, laughing.

From the loveseat across from him, Celty shook her head. Was the underground doctor of Ikebukuro serious? Why did he think that this was a good idea?

"No, it isn't" Izaya waved him off. "Like I guessed, just stems from a lack of attention as a child."

"Isn't it funny that you can figure out why everyone else does what they do, but yet you can't figure yourself out?" Shinra laughed. "Kind of ironic, no?"

"I'm not exactly human, either." Izaya shot over his shoulder, smirking. "I'm more of a God."

"And Gods are not capable of love? Isn't that the message of God or something like that? Peace and love?"

Izaya paused. "Your point?" He turned on his heel to face the doctor. "Do you even have a point?"

"That's why you came here, isn't it? You can't figure yourself out, so you want me to try and do it for you. The best you can do is guess. Kind of ironic. You have information about everyone but yourself!" Shinra laughed.

Izaya's lower left eyelid twitched. "Fuck off." He ordered.

Shinra shrugged. "It's true. You can understand anything but yourself and Shizuo. You two have that in common. You're both a mystery to you!"

Izaya stalked to the doctor and glared down at him. "Don't compare me to him, Shinra." His voice was dangerously low. "Not if you value your life." He pulled out his knife as a threat, but didn't open it.

Celty was on her feet instantly, but Shinra waved her off.

"Don't worry; he won't hurt me. He knows I'm right." Shinra smiled at Izaya. "And since you love yourself so much, could it be possible that you're falling for things you see in Shizuo that you also see in you? Hm?"

Izaya flicked his wrist and hid his knife back up his sleeve. "Sh-Shut up, Shinra…that's impossible!" He backed away, looking strangely frightened. "I can't love Shizu-chan. I just can't! That monster! That brute! That, that…" He backed up to the wall behind him and slid down it. "Oh man…this can't be happening…there's no way in hell I love Shizuo-chan!"

Shinra shrugged. "I know it's hard to accept, but when you look at the facts…haven't you ever been in love, Izaya? And I'm not talking about your love for the human race. Love for one specific person. Head over heels, head in the clouds, gaga, crazy, heartbreaking love?"

"No." Izaya glared. "Never. I don't love individuals. I only love humans as a whole!"

"But Shizuo is the exception."

"Yes."

Shinra smirked. 'Gotcha.' He thought.

"I hate him."

"You love him."

"Shut up!" Izaya stood. "I am not in love with Shizuo Heiwajima!" He snarled, glaring harshly at the doctor. "I'm not, it's impossible, and that's the end of it! You're crazy, Shinra…"

"No crazier then the guy who's in love with his arch enemy."

"Ugh!" Izaya stood without another word and stormed out of the apartment. He slammed the door so hard the hinges rattled.

"Are you insane?" Celty wondered. "There's no way Izaya could ever like Shizuo that way."

"You never know, Celty. He does show the signs of being in love with someone. Or at least loving them. Not necessarily in love. Two different things."

Celty shook her head. "I just hope you know what you're doing."

"I do, and it's fine. No worries." The doctor smiled and stood to stretch. "I'm going to bed." He practically skipped down the hallway, leaving a confused Celty in his wake.

000

It wasn't until three days later, when Izaya came back to begrudgingly admit that Shinra may have been right, that the doctor formulated a plan.