The Kooky Karaoke Girls of Company F for Freedom
(by Sailor Taichichi Vegeta)
I wanted to do something heart-warming and profound for Veterans' Day… but because I am me, this came out instead.
If you are an American citizen, you should go thank somebody in uniform (if you are somebody in uniform, or were, I offer platonic kisses and hugs and apologies for the lack of a better story).
If you are not an American citizen –don't worry, I'm not going to start screaming "LOVE IT OR LEAVE IT" or anything, but you may want to step back a little because there's a good chance my special brand of patriotism (it includes kitchen matches, brown sugar and offbeat anecdotes) is going to get all over everything.
If you are Cousin Roy, Col. James or Staff Sgt. Farrish… please click 'back' now, and try to forget you ever saw this.
Disclaimer
Hey, hey, Mama, more hot cider!
Hey, hey, Papa, hey, hey, Papa!
I can't forget the taste of that grilled cheese-and-bacon sandwich that nobody wanted to share with me!
Draw a circle, that's the Earth,
Draw a circle, that's the Earth,
Draw a circle, that's the Earth,
I'm not Himaruya and therefore own nothing!
It was three minutes to one. Abigail stood in the doorway and looked around again –parking lot half-full, a few stray leaves being blown about, yellow ribbons tied to nearly everything, including the box she was holding. Where was that woman?
"Anything?" asked Jake, the guy at the home who'd agreed to help her set this up.
"Not yet… Man, of all the times to be fashionably late! I'm gonna start eating 'freedom toast' for breakfast, see how she likes that!"
As if its driver heard her complaints, a sleek blue sports car pulled into the driveway and found a spot in record time. Out leapt a red-headed woman (that color sort of suited her, thought Abigail), who dashed up to the door as quickly as her shoes would allow.
"I'm sorry, cherie," she panted, adjusting her wig. "I would have been here at 12:45, but I took a wrong turn…"
Abigail shook her head, accepting the excuse she'd had to use a few times herself. "It's fine, we've still got two minutes. You know, I like that color on you."
"Oh, thank you! I haven't had reason to use this wig in years…" Abigail considered asking about its purpose and thought better of it. "Wait. Where is our other diva?"
"Pouting in the car. I told her she could sit there 'til you showed up…" Striding over to her car, Abigail rapped on the passenger-side window. "Hey! France is here! It's showtime!"
The Englishwoman let down the window a bit and grumbled, "Tell me again why I have to wear this?"
"Because it matches your eyebrows," smirked Virginie, who couldn't resist the opportunity to mock her beloved rival.
"You shut up, frog!"
"It's because I've been coming here and they know I'm blonde, but they've never seen you."
"Why couldn't you get Lithuania to do this?"
"Because Rūta's in Poland, helping celebrate their independence. Come on, Artie, there were more Olympians than Potterheads at the mall Saturday. I won. You lost. Now get your wig on and let's go!"
She snorted and rolled the window back up, but made no move to put on the dark wig. Virginie got in on the driver's side and started to put an arm around her waist.
"Abigail, I'm afraid you'll have to sing for them by yourself. I think Artemisia wants to stay and do something else. Perhaps we'll join you later…"
"Oh, no we won't!" Artemisia pushed Virginie's arm away, picked up the wig and finally got out of the car. "You'll wrinkle my uniform!"
"Funny, you didn't seem to care about that when you were trying to make yourself invisible in the seat," pointed out Abigail as the trio walked back to the door. Twenty seconds to go. Could have been worse.
Jake let them in with a smile. "You ready?"
Abigail gave him one of her own. "You bet! Sorry about that."
They headed down the hallway to the large room where Abigail liked to spend time with some of the citizens who'd fought for her. Today most of the chairs were arranged in neat rows, and Jake had placed a CD player at the front. When they came in, Lance Corporal Evans called, "Hey, everyone, it's the 'Jones Sisters!' Looking good, ladies!" Somebody near the back whistled; Artemisia turned red, but Abigail giggled and Virginie said, "So many handsome men here!" and blew a kiss to the room. Abigail set the box down beside the player and, with Jake's help, hooked up three microphones.
"This thing on? Good afternoon!" she said. The veterans responded cheerfully –was that cake on their laps? Aw, how nice, somebody'd brought baked goods earlier. "I went through the papers at home and checked three times just to be sure, and it looks like the Navy won this time." Some cheers, a few groans. "Now, Airman Hernandez, it was the Air Force's turn last year…"
"Terrorists, your game is through!" shouted one man near the front.
"Staff Sergeant Mosley, you know I can't sing that again! You ready?" This last part whispered to Virginie and Artemisia. They nodded, took their mikes, and moved closer together.
Since the Navy veterans won, the first song they sang in their three-part harmony was the hymn known and loved by American sailors (bless Virginie, she was the only one who'd had to try hard to really learn the words and it paid off). Of course, this was just half their prize, but they didn't know that yet… The other branches of the military had their special songs performed too, interspersed with popular songs from different times her brave citizens had to go overseas. Even Artemisia seemed to enjoy herself when it was time for the 1960s hits. Then they sang "America the Beautiful" and the national anthem, and received a standing ovation.
"Oh, you guys are too kind! But we're not quite done yet…" Abigail brought a CD out of the box, put it into the player, and found the right track. A catchy disco tune issued from the speakers. "Once more, for my dear sailors! But we hope all of you like it! If you know the words, why not sing along? Clap your hands with us! 'Where can you find pleasure? Search the world for treasure? Learn science, technology…'" And so, the concert ended with a rousing rendition of "In the Navy." Virginie was hilarious as she lip-synced the lines of the nervous aquaphobe, while her fellow nations boomed in the lowest voices they could muster.
After it was over Abigail gave out all the handshakes and hugs that were asked of her. Virginie and Artemisia received a few too (as well as a marriage proposal on the part of the former). Jake helped disconnect the microphones and walked the ladies to the door.
"You don't know how much we appreciate this," he said as Abigail got out her keys.
"Maybe not… But I appreciate everyone here, too. Speaking of which, thanks, Artie, Virginie, for helping me. Wasn't it great?"
Artemisia gave a slight nod; Virginie placed an arm around her shoulders and said, "Of course it was! It was nice, working with my allies again. And I couldn't say no to a deal that tempting."
"Well, just make sure you leave everything the way you find it," said Abigail, handing her one of the keys. She headed for her car, but only unlocked the door on the driver's side.
"Wait, Abigail, how am I supposed to get home?" asked Artemisia.
"You're riding with Virginie, of course."
"What?"
"Our American friend has promised us the use of her lakeside cabin. Wouldn't you like a few days of relaxation?"
"Not with you! Abigail F. Jones, what sort of deal did you make? Don't leave me with her! Abigail!"
Virginie dragged the poor Englishwoman to her car, leaving Abigail in peace and quiet. Before getting into her own vehicle she turned to regard the veterans' home one last time. Lance Corporal Evans had come to the door and was waving goodbye.
"Bye! Until next time!" And she got in and drove away.
Goodbye… and thank you.
Did you know today is also Poland's day of independence?
Our heroine's name sounds like a good simple name a North American colonist might give to his/her daughter (and she could shorten it to Abby at times). I was stuck between Mirabelle and Virginie for fem!France, then went with the latter because of the PG-13 irony. Artemisia is a legendary androgynous figure with whom Queen Elizabeth I identified herself when many were questioning the wisdom of a woman running the kingdom. (Plus it sounds sort of like a rejected Harry Potter character, Iggy would love that. XD) Rūta, or rue, is a national symbol of Lithuania.
(For the record, I'm both Olympian and Potterhead.)
Now go and listen to Hayman's "Servicemen on Parade" and anything by Dvořák with "American" in the title.
*flee*