Penny for Your Thoughts
A hand touched the Priminister's shoulder, waking him from his slumber. Blinking to the mornings sunlight coming through the windows he looked up at the servant who held a worried expression.
''I am sorry to wake you sir, but I believe the mornings paper may be of importance to you'' He held the paper in his hand, but Lord Melbourne could not see the contents of it.
Confusion struck him, he had been retired from parliament for nearly a year now, living in the quiet, peaceful setting of Brocket Hall to wallow in his own loneliness at giving up the woman that had restored life back into his very being.
He sat up in his chair and took the paper which the servant offered. Unfolding it the front page struck him like a blow to the head.
Shock as Queen Victoria's Husband Albert drowns in ice skating accident.
Lord Melbourne blinked a few times before reading it again, just to make sure his sleep ridden mind had read it correctly.
Disbelief took every word away from him. He couldn't help but worry about Victoria's current state of mind.
He had not seen her since the ball he was invited to. Their relationship had changed so much, he saw how much she loved Albert. They did not share their talks anymore, she did not write to him as much.
Time changed their relationship, but as nothing more than a friend he feared the young woman would be in a terrible state.
Lord Melbourne could not read the rest of the paper. Handing it back to the servant he simply said ''Coffee'' and watched the servant leave the room.
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Victoria's mother rushed down the corridors, her heels tapping away on the stone as she seeked out her daughter's chambers.
Baroness Lehzen stood in the hallway. The Duchess stopped, knowing full well that Victoria would not be far away from her Baroness after the events that have happened. She noticed a letter in her hands.
''Baroness'' The Duchess said breathlessly ''Where is my daughter, I simply must see her''
''She is waiting for you, she was playing the piano only a few moments ago'' Lehzen said plainly.
''Oh'' The Duchess could not hide her surprise. ''Thankyou'' She turned to go but stopped ''I have my bags in the carriage, could you please send for somebody to take them to my wing?'' Lehzen nodded at the order and walked off.
Victoria's mother carried on walking down the hall way, the piano was no longer being played, but when she reached the double glass doors she saw her daughter sitting on the bench beside it, looking through the sheets of music.
She walked in. Victoria turned to face her, standing from her seat she walked over to her mother. Her face was solid, she was not carrying any emotion, she had not been crying The Duchess noted with slight confusion. But to her shock Victoria embraced her in a hug, clinging to her mother as if she would float away.
Victoria sighed deeply into her mother's shoulder as she soothed her daughter with quiet words.
''I am so sorry for your loss Drina, I came as soon as I heard. How awful it must be for you''
''It was an accident mama, I cannot dwell on it. I tried so very hard to save him, but he did not resurface for so long, by the time I was able to pull him out he was already dying''
The Duchess loosened her grip on her daughter and stepped back to observe her. The fact the young woman did not seem very upset by the events worried her. ''It must have been very traumatic for you, perhaps we should get Sir James to look at you'' The Duchess tilted her head as she tucked a trendil of hair behind her daughter's ear.
''I am perfectly well mother'' Victoria walked back over to the piano. ''Sir Robert Peel will be here soon, I sent for him as I now have a mountain of work to attend to''
''I see, do you not think it is too early, perhaps you should wait until after Christmas''
''Albert...'' Victoria's voice faltered a little, taking a deep breath, she continued ''Albert thought a lot of Christmas, however I did not, so it makes no difference to me. I would rather get things sorted now, so that we can begin to move on''
The Duchess was shocked at her daughter's reactions. She was expecting Victoria to be in pieces, inconsolable, heartbroken, devastated. But instead she seemed lifeless, and mechanical.
''Very well Drina, I shall go and settle myself in, I will check on you later'' She could not hide the concern in her voice.
As the door shut Victoria placed a hand over her mouth, holding back the sob that threatened to escape.
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Lord Melbourne opened the letter that had the royal stamp on it. His hands he noticed trembled a little, in fear of what might be lying underneath the sealed envelope.
Dear Lord Melbourne,
I am sure you have been made aware of The Queen's now deceased husband. Her behaviour has become very out of character, The Queen's staff and her ladies are growing increasingly worried for Her Majesty's state of mind.
I sincerely hope you can come and visit Her Majesty, we are sure you will be able to bring her to talk about the terrible events and hopefully lift her spirits a little.
Baroness Lehzen.
Lord Melbourne read the letter two or three times, he had only ever received a letter from Victoria's Baroness once, when he resigned as Priminister and she would not leave her room.
He was becoming increasingly worried about her, her ladies and the Baroness have always supported Victoria, and at times disagreed with things that the pair of them had done, for the Baroness to write to Lord Melbourne himself troubled him deeply.
He stood from his seat. Walking towards the doors he shouted from his room, one of his staff came up the stairs.
''Please send for Lady Emma Portman straight away, tell her it is a matter of urgency'' He asked, and the young man bowed and made his way back down the stairs.
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Victoria walked around the ball room, the trees were decorated beautifully. Albert had such a clear image in his mind of how he wanted everything to look. Victoria admired all the little detail that he had placed into organising the room. Her dog sniffing round every tree, exploring the room which was locked almost daily so that nobody could see his workings.
Victoria seated herself at the back of the room, her dog, dash jumped on the seat and settled himself beside her.
''It will be no different from all the other Christmases, just you and me'' Victoria petted the dog who had been with her the whole time.
''Sir Robert Peel'' The voice sounded from the door. Victoria stood from her seat as the Priminister walked into the room, got down on one knee and kissed her hand.
''I am deeply saddened to hear about the passing of your husband ma'am, may I offer my condolences''
Victoria tilted her chin up ''Thank you. I believe there is much to sort out''
''Indeed ma'am but it is early days, why don't you wait until after Christmas, give yourself a little time, it will be easier for you''
''For goodness sake!'' Victoria snapped ''I am not ill! I have a duty to ensure that everything remains as it should, the world doesn't just stop because somebody dies now does it'' Victoria realised the tone of her voice had changed, she immediately regretted snapping at him. ''Forgive me Robert, my nerves have been tried the last few days. Everybody is fussing round me like I am some child. I do not need any time off, or rest. If anything, the busier I am the happier I will be'' She offered a small smile to the now speechless Priminister.
''I am sorry ma'am, I was not aware that these are your wishes, of course we can sort everything out. I will arrange a meeting with the Privy Council at once. I am guessing that Albert's family will be coming to the palace at some point''
''My mother has probably already invited them, but if she has not then I suppose I will do'' Victoria sounded most displeased at the idea.
''I will need to speak to them, to discuss the allowance and what shall happen in the security of titles as an heir was not produced''
''Of course'' Victoria remained formal and emotionally withdrawn from the conversation.
''I applaud your bravery ma'am'' He spoke carefully ''You are lucky to be surrounded by your friends at such a difficult time''
''Thankyou Sir Robert, I shall be in touch''
The priminister bowed and backed away from the Queen, making his exit from the room once again leaving her in her own company.
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Victoria walked through the corridors of the palace, every member of staff that walked past her bowed their heads and remained quiet, her ladies followed at a respectable distance, none of them talking. The palace seemed to be in mourning.
''Emma'' Victoria called to her lady without turning around. ''Would you mind telling Mrs Skerrett to change me for riding? I cannot stand to be in this palace any longer''
Emma looked at Harriett as the pair shared a worried glance ''Of course Your Majesty'' Emma replied before heading off to find Victoria's dresser.
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''Mrs Skerrett'' Emma caught the dressers attention. ''The Queen would like to go riding, she wishes to be changed''
The dresser said nothing but nodded and went off to Victoria's private chambers.
Emma was following Mrs Skerrett when Lord Alfred stopped her.
''Excuse me ma'am, but Lord Melbourne has sent a request that you join him at Brocket Hall immediately''
''I do not think it would be wise to leave The Queen at such a time, please tell him I shall visit him in due course''
''I believe it is regarding The Queen ma'am'' Lord Alfred pressed ''I gave a letter from the palace to our messenger just this morning which was addressed to Brocket Hall''
Emma paused, thinking it over. ''Yes, ok. Please will you send for my carriage and tell the Queen I have been called away for a few hours. But do not tell her I have gone to Brocket Hall, it may upset her further''
Lord Alfred nodded his head and went off to obey Emma's orders.
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Victoria walked her horse through the chilled afternoon air, the light would soon begin to fade. She saw her breath disappear into the sky as she relished the fresh air hitting her lungs and clearing her mind. She had always hated riding alone, but this time, being around other people was just becoming suffocating.
Victoria closed her eyes for a moment, her head spun with thoughts and emotions that she was struggling to understand. What annoyed her about it was that other people seemed to think they could relate to her feelings. Yes, truth be told that everybody has suffered a loss of a loved one at some point in their lives, but Albert was not just a loved one, and she was not just an ordinary woman, however much she wished she was sometimes. Nobody really understood.
She felt warm tears fall from her eyes then, her throat felt tight. But then she realised that she was alone, and finally, for the first time since that awful day Victoria let out a series of wracked sobs. With only her horse as witness the Queen let out every tear, every sob, every heave that she had had to hold in due to constantly having people fussing around her.
Squeezing her horses sides, she cantered off down the narrow track, observing how the trees guided her way like a light in a dark tunnel.
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Emma stepped through the big doors of Brocket Hall, being welcomed by one of Lord Melbourne's doormen.
''Good evening Mrs Portman, Lord Melbourne is expecting you, he is in his drawing room''
Emma smiled and made her way through the large house. Opening the door, she let herself into his drawing room.
''This better be good William'' Emma seeked him in his usual chair, although she noted he had spent much of the day in his Glass houses given his state of undress.
Lord Melbourne sat up a little bit as he reached for his glass of Brandy. ''I heard about Albert's death''
Emma sat herself down in the chair beside him. ''She is acting most peculiar, she seems almost emotionless''
''Is that so strange?'' He enquired, remembering his own reactions when faced with close family death.
''She wants to meet with the Privy council almost immediately, she has already spoken with Robert Peel, if we say such as one thing that she may not like she snaps, her mother got given the cold shoulder, we cannot bring her to talk, she spends most of her time alone, she went riding out this afternoon alone you know''
He remembered listening to many awful stories about how much Victoria had hated Kensington because of how isolated that she had been, she had always openly spoke of her emotions, and inclinations, good or bad. ''This will be a new one for her, she is dealing with it how she wishes. What about the Baroness?'' He asked before sipping his brandy once more.
''She will not talk to her, Lehzen spends much of her time alone. Vickie will not entertain anyone'' Emma replied.
He saw his friend's worry for the young Monarch. ''Lehzen wrote to me this morning, asking if I would visit the palace, to try and lift the Queens spirits, but I do not think this is wise, she would not want more people around if she is behaving like this''
''I disagree William'' Emma replied quickly ''I think she would enjoy your company, you always had a way of bringing her out of even the worst moods. She is doing her boxes and writing her letters as if nothing has happened, but she isn't fooling anyone, its just a shame she doesn't trust anybody to talk to in confidence''
''We are not that close anymore, I hardly hear from her, im sure it would put a sense of awkwardness in the palace'' He swirled his Brandy glass around in his hand, watching the liquid slosh about in the glass.
''She misses you William'' Emma's reply caused his head to shoot up, looking over to his friend in half disbelief.
Emma nodded and smiled for the first time since arriving. ''Perhaps you should move back in to London for a few weeks, if nothing else but for Victoria''
He had to choose his words rather carefully, knowing how much Emma already knew. ''Maybe''
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Victoria looked out at the gardens below the palace, the snow had fallen again over night, dusting the land with sparkle against the morning sunshine, the air was still, the frost on the trees and frozen lake making the area look tranquil and magical. She touched her palm to the window, feeling the icy cold glass kiss her warm hand.
''Penny for your thoughts?'' The voice behind her caused Victoria to jump around from the window.
''Lord Melbourne'' Victoria said with a slightly surprised but also meaningless expression.
Any thoughts would be greatly appreciated. Thanks for reading!