AN: For fe_contest on livejournal's theme "Unity and Division." Thanks to Queenlua for the beta. Spoilers for the end of Path of Radiance and warning for death.
Few ripples had disturbed the lake in the hours they'd been there. Ena was doubly aware of each one, for her link to Rajaion allowed her to hear, smell, and feel through him as well as through her own senses. She knew that a rock underneath his thigh was causing discomfort just as readily as she felt the grass against her ankles.
Its tickling gave her the urge to shift. She breathed deeply and held still. Moving was forbidden until they finished the ceremony.
A bird's cry caught Rajaion's attention. How lonely it sounds, he thought. Perhaps it was separated from its mate.
The common ground-dove's call always sounds that way, she responded. And they do not mate for life.
There was a break in his thoughts while he mulled that over. Then it does not know how lonely it is.
They had always been that way. He found poetry where she saw none, and she recited facts he hadn't known. She had always thought she got the better part of the deal.
His response to that idea recalled times when he ruffled her hair. It had often embarrassed her, but with their eyes closed and their minds open, there was no room for self-consciousness.
Tonight was their last night of joint vigil and fasting. In the morning they would go back to his home to feast, and then in a mere year's time, their marriage would be complete.
Rajaion pressed a smile into her mind. Patience, my love.
Don't worry. I am not eager for this night to end, she told him. And it was true. She could have happily spent all her centuries there with him, connected to a mind as solid as the mountains yet—unlike his father's—without the chill of their peaks.
Rajaion sent her a flicker of amusement at the barb. Her cheeks grew hot against the night air.
The night passed. When the sun rose over the mountains, they severed their connection and stood. Immediately, Ena felt colder than she had all night. She hurried to reestablish contact and was soothed by it instantly.
Once she'd stretched, she opened her eyes. The sight of him—his bearing regal, his eyebrows quirked—caused her to lower her gaze. He chuckled and gestured up the mountain, which they began to scale, sending stray thoughts back and forth like the brush of one hand against another.
xxxxxxx
Six months passed before Rajaion announced he was leaving.
The reason he gave her was a lie. She knew instantly, for she knew his mind as well as she'd read beorc lovers knew each other's bodies. In the same instant, she knew she should not ask why. While it stung, she trusted him as much as she trusted the moon to rise.
It could have occurred to her that his promise to return was a lie as well, but she did not think it worth considering. She knew they couldn't be separated forever, no matter how far he went.
xxxxxxx
To dragons, a day happened in the blink of an eye. But in the years following Rajaion's departure, each hour felt like a climb up a mountain with no peak.
Ena spent her time staring vacantly at scrolls in the library. She buried herself in history—the great flood, slavery, and dates she could recite in her sleep. She still expected to feel a tap on her shoulder, to see an arm snake around her and place a book in front of her, to hear him request she read the passage aloud only to interrupt and tell her she wasn't reading it right. She'd always bristled, but when he leaned over her and repeated the words, he gave them such shape that her arguments died in her throat.
She remembered how, upon discovering her secret interest in military tactics, he'd snuck banned scrolls out of his father's safe. I won't tell if you don't, he'd said with a wink, and she'd taken the scrolls despite her protests.
Her chest ached at the memory. She wondered if the documents had ever been returned and found she couldn't care.
The others kept the distance proper with one who had lost their other half. Ena was glad for it at first, but when Prince Kurth walked in one day with a weak smile and a bowl of the meal she hadn't eaten, she felt a pang of relief.
He brought food to her often from then on. He spoke little during his visits, usually slumping over the table with his head in his arms. She left him be, knowing that when he rejoined the others it would be with a straight back and light demeanor.
"I'm just waiting to see who leaves next," he said on one of his more talkative days, and Ena's heart broke again, for she already knew the answer. However, she'd sworn that nothing could keep her from her love, and so a fortnight later she packed and set out over the mountains to the world outside.
xxxxxxx
He had not told her where he was going, but she didn't need a map to get to him. At night, she meditated to keep her senses sharp. By day, she searched for his aura among the chaos crackling in the foreign air.
Finally, in Daein, something prickled at the edge of her consciousness. A thread of hope climbed in her, weaving quickly into a tight rope as she cast out a message in the direction of the castle she'd sensed him in.
A jolt split her mind when he repelled her. She clutched her head and jerked back, her eyes wide and shoulders trembling.
Rajaion? Rajaion?
He didn't answer.
She moved on numb legs toward the castle gate. The soldiers guarding it held up their weapons. She might have been intrigued if it weren't for the feeling of dread seeping into her gut. It wasn't due to the beorc; they were inconsequential, save for the scent of iron filling her nostrils. It was because of the power emanating from the castle, which with each passing moment felt more and more like him—and simultaneously not him, something that couldn't be him, something that shouldn't have existed at all.
Again she tried to establish a link with him. Again he repelled her, this time with so much force that it recalled being blasted by dragon breath. Panting, she dug in her heels to keep upright. What was happening? If he was warning her to stay away—if he was in danger—she knew she should back away and investigate before deciding a course of action…but she sensed a kernel of him in the madness, and she wouldn't leave until she'd reached it.
Breathing deeply, she imagined their evening by the lake, trying to recapture that peace and use it to push through the negative energy surrounding him. The moment she achieved clarity, the chaos started eroding it. She tried to shake it free, but it had latched onto her like a hook in a fish. She had an instant to make a decision: keep on her present course and risk getting consumed by whatever it was that had swallowed Rajaion, or give up on their connection and find another way. Every bit of reason told her to choose the latter, but with that energy pulling at her being and Rajaion there at its core, she made a wild leap of faith and gave in.
Immediately, wrongness shook her. A thousand needles pricked her as fire crawled up her spine, making her want to tear her skin off to make it stop. Every moment that she'd ever wanted to scream, to cry, to lash out came back to her in one unbearable instant before disappearing in a fog. Like a lighthouse in a storm, one thought remained. Rajaion. Rajaion was there. She was sure of it. But he was—he was what? It didn't matter.
Her feet moved of their own accord. The guards barked at her. Normally she would have tried to convince them to lay down their weapons, but her thoughts had grown sluggish, her perception warped, her awareness dulled until she could think of nothing but making it to the hurricane's eye.
Energy built in her. Shouts filtered into her ears like an echo. She covered them and squeezed her eyes shut, struggling to stay on her feet while the world tilted. Her body expanded as blackness surrounded her. She heard clanking, thuds. The stench of iron overwhelmed her, so much like blood that she could barely tell none had been spilled.
Metal bars blocked her path. She seized them, bending them and pushing them to the side. The screams she heard as she entered the castle only worsened her headache, causing her to thrash until the noise faded. With every step, she felt herself moving closer to him, closer, until no more walls separated them. She couldn't see, but she felt him. Like a drowning man throwing out his hand, she reached for him.
He repelled her again. She let out a cry and lurched back. Pain ran hot through her, cleaving her in two in the same instant it cut through the chaos. The storm clouds faded, allowing her to see the scene in front of her.
She was in dragon form. Bodies lay contorted at her feet. Their weapons had rolled to the side, save that of one who still clutched his. His jaw was unhinged in a permanent scream.
The realization of what she'd done expended the last of her energy. She transformed and stumbled, nausea overwhelming her at the crime she'd committed, the centuries of ideals she'd undone. Only numbness kept her on her feet as she stared at her hands, at the red that dripped from them and stained her dress.
She realized then that she had company. Slowly, she forced her chin up. Her love stood there, giving her heart joy despite everything. Desperately, she tried to make contact with him, but his mind was caged off by some dark miasma she couldn't pierce.
He thrashed and roared. To Ena's deep shame, she flinched. Before he could take another step, a chain around his neck yanked him back, causing Ena's hand to leap to her throat. Swallowing, she looked down the chain to the gloved hand that held it. A man stood there considering her, his eyes sliding from her to the corpses on the ground and back. A smirk spread across his face.
"Impressive," he said. "Very impressive."
Ena clenched her fists. The chaos no longer controlled her, but she wanted little more than to cut this man's fingers away from the chain, which they were tapping as if he was in thought. He stared evenly at her and licked his lips.
"What do you say we make a deal?" he asked. Though Ena's blood ran cold, she met Rajaion's eyes and knew she could not refuse.
xxxxxxx
Ena was never sure if Ashnard knew why she'd accepted, but it didn't matter now. His corpse lay several yards away, and with her love in front of her, she had no room to care.
Rajaion dragged himself up and roared. Ena stood unflinchingly, paying no mind to Ike's warning shouts. When Rajaion's neck gave way, Ena hurried to his side and knelt.
The madness in him throbbed. Her fingers curled against his scaled neck as she closed her eyes and stroked his mind with hers.
It's all right, my love. We are together.
He couldn't hear her. She knew. She could not feel through him as she once could. Nevertheless, she felt the madness inside him calm, smoothing like the surface of a lake.
Bird song reached her ears. At first, she thought it was a dove, but then she heard lyrics take shape. Peace came over her for the first time since he'd left.
The chaos in him faded until it was nothing but an echo at the bottom of a canyon. For a crushing moment, she heard nothing. Then, his heartbeat came through—not because her ear was at his chest, but because she could hear it through him. His thoughts filtered through, trying to make sense of his memories as he felt for her. Ena?
Hope alighted in her. Rajaion?
He shifted. His regal bearing was gone, his shoulders hunched and his hair bedraggled, but the twinkle in his eye was the most beautiful thing she'd ever seen. Like light being let into a cave, he filled her mind, sharing words and pictures that finally made her feel whole. Tears ran hot down her cheeks as they pressed their foreheads together and recited vows that were long overdue.
For a moment, their rhythms matched. Then, everything about him slowed, his words, his breaths, causing her heart rate to quicken to make up for every beat his missed. The understanding between them muddled as his thoughts grew erratic. She held onto him with each word, each memory, each piece of them he still recognized, until finally only her fingers digging into his shirt remained, and then she had to let go of that, too.