Author's Note: I really should cut back on the Hebi love…this is like the third fic about them sitting around on my computer, though this will probably be posted before the other two. I meant for this to be a quick, short oneshot…and then I just kept adding more, including a little unrelated bonus drabble since I don't feel like posting it on it's own or working on my mountain of homework.
This is ridiculously AU, though now I can say that Ambition's End might as well be canon now, thanks to chapter 364 of the manga. Seriously, it validates almost everything I have ever said about Hebi. And still amuses me. Anyway, there are a couple of things in this based on occurrences in the manga, just so you know. There may also be some glaring discrepancies due to the random, disjointed times I usually write my fics, and if there are, please let me know so I can address the problem.
Disclaimer: I don't own any of the characters/plots/places/etc that I use to make these crazy romps through the fandom.
Title: Followed You Home
Rating: T
Chapter: One and Only One (aka one shot)
Author: Singe
O0O0O0O
So Sasuke was back. Had been for nearly a year now, though most of the villagers were just learning of his arrival, seeing as he had been under strict confinement and interrogation. Now though, he was placed under the rotating supervision of the upper level ninja, though some had their doubts as to how effective this system really was. The boy had killed Orochimaru after all…granted, a weakened Orochimaru, but still, he had killed one of the Legendary Three. And then there was the whole Uchiha Itachi fiasco. After that, there really was little doubt the boy could (and would) leave whenever he felt the need to and that the supervision was just an attempt to keep the villagers thinking something could be done to stop the last Uchiha if he just happened to go batshit crazy like his older brother. If he hadn't already, that is. One might consider the whole working for Orochimaru thing as such. It was all a matter of perspective, really.
There was however, another reason Tsunade had instituted the "babysitting the crazy brat" system. This was, of course, that she still took some pleasure from harassing certain ninja under her employ. Jiraiya was most often assigned the duty, so it was not uncommon to see the final member of the Legendary Three loitering about with both the blond Kyuubi container and the Uchiha prodigy. The two former members of Team 7 had tip-toed around each other for the longest time before a series of several knockdown, drag-out fights apparently reaffirmed the…understanding they had once had. Dealing with the two together was something she would not have wished on anyone else besides the perpetual lecher, thus made all the sweeter by the fact she was eventually able to get the Elder Council to make the assignment more…permanent. Well, at least, during the times Jiraiya was within the gates of Konoha.
So that was how Uchiha Sasuke had wound up in his current predicament. He was in a local bathhouse, soaking in one of the pleasantly warm pools of water...and acting as a distraction while the idiot and the old pervert were "researching." Jiraiya had quickly learned that the presence of the former missing nin quickly attracted the attention of any and all nearby citizens just as much as it distracted any ninja in the vicinity. So the boy was deployed as a decoy whenever possible. Thus, he was sitting in the baths, attracting the attention and curious stares of the other male patrons as the Icha Icha author and his usual assistant were watching the women's baths next door through a hole in the fence.
All in all, it was a usual day for the three of them. Though Sasuke was annoyed with constantly being used in such a way, he felt it was better than being forced to actually join in with the "research." He'd leave that to Naruto…the idiot had apparently become quite adept at it over the last few years. So Sasuke took what joy he could from the fact he was currently drifting in a half-awake state in comfortably warm water and not sitting on the floor of a dark, damp cell.
And then something brushed against his leg. He shifted to sit more upright and glare at whoever it had been that dared to invade his personal space, even if only by accident. But there was no one standing in front of him. And glancing through the mostly clear water, he could see no sign of anything that could have brushed against his ankle. But something definitely had.
Noticing the even more curious glances he was receiving now that he had suddenly moved after so long, Sasuke stretched casually and then leaned back against the stone wall, allowing his senses to be dulled by the heat and steam once again. There was no one here who would be stupid enough to start anything with him…well, besides the two currently debating in loud whispers whether or not Naruto should try to sneak into the women's side of the baths again. Really, they would never learn.
So when something brushed against Sasuke's leg again a few minutes later, he simply moved his leg from where it had been resting, figuring the movement would at least provide a proper warning before he was forced to kill whatever it was that dared harass him. This time, he had distinctly felt the impression of a hand.
And a few minutes later, that hand was back, this time tugging sharply at his ankle. This was returned with a vicious kick from the Uchiha, a kick that the raven-haired boy felt both connect and miss at the same time. A few moments later, he learned why as a certain familiar head of nearly white hair emerged from the water, it's owner coughing and shooting him a nasty look despite the fact he was also smirking. No one else seemed to notice the sudden appearance of a young man where there had been only water moments before.
After all, screams had just started to be heard from the women's bath, and Uzumaki Naruto was noticeably missing as his current sensei was slinking quickly out of the bathing area. Really, for ninja, the majority of them were quite oblivious to a lot of things. Then again, people suddenly emerging from the bath water really wasn't all that uncommon of a thing: Kakashi did it periodically to "make sure every ninja was always on alert," though considering the joyful expression on his face—as far as anyone could tell, that is, since the jounin still always managed to keep the lower portion of his face covered— most figured it was something they really didn't want to know the truth about. Granted, there were some raised eyebrows at Sasuke's new companion when glances were thrown back in the Uchiha's direction, but the sudden appearance of another shinobi was not remarked upon. But that could have been because no one but Sasuke knew the other was another of Orochimaru's former subordinates and supposedly had died not long after the assassination of said leader. Either way…
"What the hell are you doing here?" he demanded.
"Aw, come on," Suigetsu drawled as he slid onto the bench next to Sasuke. "Didn't you miss me?"
"No. I might pretend to if you go away again though. So leave and we'll find out."
The other's smirk grew wider, revealing his pointed teeth. "No love for an old companion?"
"We weren't companions. We just worked together sometimes."
"Well, that could have been different. I offered to come with on your little 'kill my older brother' adventure. It's not my fault you had an image to maintain and took off by yourself."
"I wanted to be alone." Sasuke gave the other a pointed look, making clear he wanted to be left in peace now as well. "There's a reason I left you in that tank to rot."
"Still no fun, I see. But hey, you're the one who came back here…that implies something different about wanting to be left alone."
"Fine. Would you just leave me alone then? Go collect swords or something."
Suigetsu seemed to consider the idea, giving a little hum as he tilted his head to the side as if in deep thought before declaring cheerfully. "No."
A howl of pain and a scream of "I DIDN'T MEAN TO! HE MADE ME DO IT!!" interrupted their conversation, which Sasuke took as his signal to leave since the voice was distinctly reminiscent of a certain blond idiot. Plus, he just wanted to get away from another one of the major annoyances in his life.
He was glad that Suigetsu didn't bother to follow him into the changing room or out of the onsen. Sasuke was, however, distinctly annoyed when the pale-haired shinobi made an appearance later that afternoon at Ichiraku.
Especially since said appearance was announced by Suigetsu standing uncomfortably close to him, completely naked, and poking him repeatedly in the shoulder with a thin index finger while demanding he be introduced to "Sasuke's new set of servants."
Needless to say, the Uchiha was not the only one annoyed and disturbed by the others methods.
"I thought I told you to go away," Sasuke stated mildly, not even glancing up from his tea to verify who dared to poke him.
"You might have mentioned it. Now are you going to introduce me?" He loved bothering the irritable Uchiha, really he did. Bother bother.
"Are you going to put some pants on?"
"…No."
"Then I won't. Put some clothes on and I might consider it."
"But all of mine are dirty…"
"I don't care. And I don't think anyone else will as long as they don't have to see you naked any longer."
"You still aren't any fun," Suigetsu responded blandly, noticing the red tints to the faces around him. Really, shouldn't shinobi be used to seeing the bodies of other people? There certainly had been no modesty in Oto. Though, he supposed, not everyone in this village was a shinobi, if the particularly red-faced girl behind the counter was any indication.
"Uhh…Sasuke?" the blond boy sitting to the left of the Uchiha asked nervously and glanced back between the two former Oto shinobi with an expression of confusion, not sure what to make of his long time rival's new…friend? acquaintance?…well, he was not sure what to make of the new guy.
"Just ignore him, dobe."
"But he's nak—"
"I'm aware of that. Now shut up and eat your ramen"
"He's so rude, isn't he, blondie? Such a brat," Suigetsu interjected happily.
"Amen," Jiraiya muttered from his seat on the other side of Naruto before taking a long drink directly from the sake bottle, having long since forgone the formality of actually using the small cup placed near his half-empty bowl.
"First off, don't call me that." Naruto demanded, crossing his arms in an irritated manner. "Secondly, yes he is. And he's a bastard." He had apparently gotten over the fact the new arrival was naked, Then again, the blond had been training with one of the most renowned perverts to ever exist, so his quick dismissal really wasn't all that surprising. Besides, everyone knew Uzumaki Naruto would never give up a chance to hassle his rival, especially if he had found an accomplice in the task. And this new guy seemed to have an idea of what he was doing, if the slight, barely noticeable twitch of Sasuke's left eye was any indication.
The plot quickly manifesting in Naruto's mind was temporarily put on hold, however, when both the owner of Ichiraku and a passing jounin guard out on patrol both took the time to tell the new arrival in no uncertain terms that nudity was not generally smiled upon in public places in Konoha. Much to Sasuke's annoyance, Suigetsu happily complied with the requests, voicing little to no argument, and then disappearing for several minutes and reappearing wearing his usual outfit. Really, couldn't the white-haired annoyance just have gotten dressed the first time he was ordered to? Upon his return, Suigetsu promptly introduced himself, sat down next to Sasuke, and demanded the Uchiha buy him lunch since he had come all this way to see him.
After a minor scuffle and a warning from another passing jounin, Sasuke gave in with a grumbled "Fine. Then will you just leave already?" This of course prompted a certain blond sitting on the other side of Sasuke to demand that his lunch be covered as well and then proceeded to launch into a long (and somewhat ludicrous list) of things he had done for the black-haired boy. By the time Naruto reached "and I made you get rid of that stupid pirate costume" the twitch of Sasuke's eye had become much more pronounced. Someday, he would kill the both of them out of sheer annoyance. Really, he would.
And then the next most annoying person currently in his life arrived at the ramen stand.
Sai had realized at some point that most people who were friends had at least one common interest. Keeping that in mind, he had thought long and hard about what interests he could cultivate in order to perhaps experience this "friendship" thing that the former Rookie Nine seemed so interested in. He had taken to asking Sakura questions about medical ninjutsu—despite already knowing most of the answers to said questions—and the girl seemed willing enough to discuss the topic. He had also allowed Kakashi (and Kiba) to introduce him to the Icha Icha series, though neither seemed to approve of his criticism of the artwork. It was harder, however, to decide which of Naruto's interests to pursue. The boy threw himself so fully—nearly obsessively—into anything he did, that Sai was left confused as to what the blond would appreciate some companionship in.
So one day, he wrote several of Naruto's more common obsessions on small slips of paper, shuffled them together, and allowed chance to decide the issue, as he had seen some of the academy instructors do when choosing genin teams. When he had selected a single strip of paper, he was slightly—disappointed? annoyed? intrigued? Well, whatever he had felt had been confusing—to discover the name of a certain former rogue ninja. Uncertain about how to take up an interest in a person instead of an object, Sai had done the only logical thing he could think of: he had started stalking both Naruto and Sasuke. It had been fairly easy to do, since the two were often together, though with both being ninja, it had been a little disappointing how quickly Sasuke had realized he was being watched and how oblivious Naruto still was to the situation. Really, the blond should know better. Though, he supposed, Sasuke was apparently used to being followed around since the dark-haired boy had never done anything to stop Sai besides occasionally casting him dark, life threatening glances.
It had taken the former Root member a while to come to the conclusion that the Uchiha must believe he was still under surveillance, though officially it had ended months ago. So Sai had stopped watching either for several weeks, but made a conscious decision to share with Naruto some of the more interesting fact he had learned regarding the other shinobi. From attempting this tactic, Sai had learned the grooming habits of the Uchiha were not of a particular interest to the blond, but his early morning training habits were. That is, until the dense Uzumaki began to wonder how Sai knew about such things and was immediately reminded of a certain suggestive henge of Konohamaru. Needless to say, he had declared he did not want to know how Sai had gotten his information and that they would never talk about these things ever again...unless Sai happened to have information of a humiliating nature concerning the Uchiha. But outside of that amendment, the subject was apparently off limits.
So he had simply decided to join the two of them as often as he could make an excuse to do so. And today, the two of them were at a popular restaurant, so it was entirely plausible to just be there for food, right? Coming to this conclusion, he sat several seats away from a young white-haired man sitting next to Sasuke, who was currently discussing said Uchiha loudly with Naruto. Sai took a minute to order and glance around the inside of the restaurant before greeting the shinobi he knew by name.
"Dickless, Uchiha, Jiraiya-sama," he said with a slight inclination of his head to the three of them. Conversation in Ichiraku died as the patrons waited to see what Uzumaki Naruto would do when greeted in such away, but were distracted from their efforts by the sudden mocking laughter of the white-haired shinobi that none of them recognized.
Said shinobi turned to Sasuke and declared loudly: "I like that one. Can we trade Karin for him?"
"…I have nothing to do with Karin, much less you. And why would I want to be related to him in any way?" Sasuke replied coldly.
"Because he makes up for the personality you lack and he isn't batshit crazy," Suigetsu quipped happily before taking a large drink of water.
"…You've been around him for five seconds, how would you know his mental state?" Sasuke muttered darkly, sending the newest arrival an annoyed glare.
"And you're wrong about that redheaded bitch and I," Suigetsu continued as if the Uchiha hadn't spoken, "We both had nothing better to do, so we each started looking for you. Or so I've heard. God knows I don't willing have anything to do with her. She'll probably show up in a couple months, surprised that I've been here so long."
Sasuke gave in and finally rubbed his temples, hoping to alleviate the headache rapidly forming thanks to the water-nin next to him and his yelling idiot of a rival/best friend who had left his chair to go threaten the newly arrived black-haired shinobi. Not to mention Jiraiya, who had just apparently reached the point of drunkenness where he would hit on anything that moved and that looked even remotely female.
"And what makes you think you'll be here for that long?"
"I already told you, I don't have much else to do. I mean, the war is over for Oto, I'm not in on some great assassination plot or anything like that, and I find your particular brand of idiocy at least mildly amusing. So, I'm here."
"How about I tell the ANBU that there's an S-rank nukenin following me around? Let them chase you around the country and leave me the hell alone."
"Because the average ANBU usually isn't worth that much effort to take care of. Duh."
Sasuke gave a grunt of agreement to his former companion's last point, and then glanced around the restaurant at his current teammates. Naruto was attempting to kill Sai (and failing, at that) while Jiraiya was hitting on a picture of the proprietor's teenage granddaughter that was hanging on one of the walls. So it looked like they'd be kicked out soon anyways. Leaving money on the counter to cover everything but Jiraiya's sake and roughly six of the bowls of ramen Naruto had somehow managed to eat, Sasuke stood and began the trek to the Hokage tower with Suigetsu in tow to alert Tsunade he would be having a "guest" for a while.
O0O0O0O
He came home to find Karin digging through his underwear drawer. He immediately decided he would introduce her to Ino. The blonde would never shut up about the redhead's unevenly cut and styled hair, and Karin would hopefully be nagged to death. God knows the irony would be worth it.
The redhead had spun guiltily to look at him when he had cleared his throat irritably. She then nervously adjusted her glasses, cleared her own throat, and then proceeded to launch into her hastily created excuse as to why she was not only in his home, but also digging through his dresser.
"Oh, Sasuke-kun, there you are. I've been waiting forever for you to show up. I had just resorted to looking fro clues as to where you might be…"
"Really." He answered flatly, the girl's blush and skittish behavior easily gave her true motivations away.
"Please, we all know what you were really doing," Suigetsu drawled with a smirk as he came to stand in the doorway behind Sasuke.
"What!? What is that supposed to mean, you bastard? And why are you here?" she demanded, her expression shifting to one of intense annoyance upon seeing the white-haired shinobi that had been an obnoxious distraction from the first day she had met him. Not to mention he was often a petulant brat that demanded Sasuke's attention, drawing it away from her in the process. And then, Suigetsu even had the nerve to declare whenever she was within hearing distance—regardless if Sasuke was present or not—that the Uchiha meant nothing to him besides being a source of amusement. And now he was here, in Sasuke's home, and had even arrived there with Sasuke himself. The nerve!
"What are you doing here?" he replied.
"That's none of your business!"
"Then I guess why I'm here is none of yours, either."
The redhead gave a feral growl and seemed about ready to launch herself at the shinobi whose main purpose in life seemed to consist of being a pain in her ass and getting between her and Sasuke, but then realized the person she was here to see was no longer in the room.
"Sasuke?" she asked tremulously.
The boy in question had wandered from the room the minute the two had started bickering, having decided neither of them were worth pretending to care about. Making his way through the starkly decorated halls of the Uchiha estate, Sasuke vaguely debated whether or not it was worth it to start working on repairing the compound today. He had not lived in his family's ancestral home in the years after the massacre, but upon returning from Otogakure, had eventually forced himself to move back in. After all, coming back had been mainly about atonement. And he knew there were things only he could make up by coming here, back to the home where it all started.
For both Itachi and himself, Uchiha Sasuke had come back to the place that had once been their home to try and fix all that they both had broken over the years.
But this was not something he liked to think on or try to explain: it simply was. So, since he had been allowed to leave the underground prison of Konoha—albeit, under heavy guard—the younger Uchiha had begun to slowly restore the estate to it's grand condition and away from the neglect and decay that had decimated it over the years since the demise of the clan. He had told Tsunade his white-haired "guest" was there to help with the repairs in lieu of having to come up with a reason he himself didn't know as to why—or how—he had suddenly acquired a nukenin companion who apparently had no intention of leaving any time soon. This was really not what he needed right now…especially since it seemed that Karin had decided to put in an appearance, as well. And the girl seemed to have no intention of leaving either.
Great, just great.
Sasuke couldn't help but wonder how long Kakashi would put up with him sleeping on his couch. The shouting from down the hall had resumed and seemed to be getting closer, and the young Uchiha couldn't contain an irritated sigh. Maybe he should go back to Tsunade and tell her he had an infestation he'd like someone else to take care of. Yea, that might work…
"Sasuke-kun? Are you home?" a cautious female voice asked from near the entrance of the building. Sighing, Sasuke changed the path he was walking to go and greet his somewhat more expected guest.
"Yes, Sakura, I'm here," he said blandly when the pink-haired medic came into view. She was standing in the living room looking confusedly in the direction of the shouting that still echoed through the halls.
"Is…something going on? I thought it was you and Naruto-kun arguing, but now you're out here and…" she made a gesture to where the voices were coming from. "Is Naruto-kun here?"
"No, he's not," Sasuke said and made a gesture toward one of the couches, silently telling his former teammate to sit down. It was a long story after all. "I was with him and that pervert teacher of his earlier, but not now. Last I saw, the old man was sexually assaulting anything that moved and Naruto was trying to kill Sai."
"Do they have to do that every Tuesday afternoon?" the girl asked, her voice full of exasperation.
"Apparently." Sasuke said, all the while thinking that it would be convenient for all of them if Uzumaki managed to get rid of the annoying Root member who had followed the both of them for weeks on end. But the idiot probably couldn't even manage that.
Suddenly remembering that the guest sitting on his couch had been putting up with him for years, Sasuke decided he might as well pretend to play the proper host, even if she hadn't really been invited over. His door was always open for his teammates…unless Naruto was with Kiba and trying to escape the wrath of some official they had wronged or a citizen they had pranked, or if Sakura showed up with Ino and the two were bearing numerous shopping bags of clothes they had "picked out for him to help him regain his fashion sense", and most especially if Kakashi showed up with a bottle or two of sake and half of his Icha Icha collection. When the last one happened, Sasuke had taken to removing the sake from his former teacher's grasp and then shoving the usually drunk Jounin off of his porch before slamming and locking the door. Not that Kakashi couldn't get around a locked door if he wanted to, but it was the thought that counted.
So, he gave a half-hearted"…you want something to drink?" like a proper Uchiha host.
"Oh, sure—"
"WAIT A MINUTE!" Sakura was loudly interrupted. The ball of now furious energy known as Karin suddenly was standing in the middle of the room, looking highly affronted, and began to rant in Sasuke's general direction. "You offer her something and not me?" She pointed furiously at Sakura, who at this point clearly had no idea what had just happened or where this other female had come from. "Sasuke! Do you have any idea how long it took to get here? The hurdles I had to face in order to be with—"
"No, he doesn't and no, he doesn't care either," Suigetsu interrupted her with a smirk as he entered the room at far more sedate pace than the redheaded girl. "Seriously though, Sasuke, you're a crappy host. If I didn't have my canteens, I could have died from dehydration by now or something."
"Maybe that was the plan," came the unconcerned answer.
To this, Suigetsu responded with a cheerful, "Inconsiderate bastard."
"Sasuke," Karin began again with a slightly pleading tone, deciding not to argue with the white-haired male's statement.
"Fine, fine," Sasuke sighed and massaged his temples, hoping his headache would at least slightly lessen. "I'll get you guys something too. Not sit down, shut up, and play nice."
With only a slight power struggle, the two sat down and did as they were told…well, pretended to, as Sasuke left the room to go make tea in the kitchen.
"So," Suigetsu drawled lazily at Sakura as soon as he deemed Sasuke out of earshot, "who the hell are you?"
"Yes, who are you and why are you in Sasuke's house," Karin demanded, crossing her arms and glaring at the other girl.
"…I was wondering the same about the two of you," Sakura replied, not bothering to answer, seeing as how the two were probably less than reputable characters if Sasuke knew them and she did not. The boy had made a lot of questionable contacts in the years he had been gone, and having met some of the other ones in the past, Sakura knew from experience it was better to not give them any personal information. Though it was odd that Sasuke had allowed these two into his house when he regularly refused entrance to people he had grown up with.
Really, she and Ino—and sometimes Tenten and Temari and Kurenai, and one time Anko, but that had ended very badly, so the older woman was no longer invited on the outings—were only trying to help.
"I'm an old coworker, she's his bitch." Suigetsu declared blandly, ignoring Karin's angry squawk and the picture frame she threw violently at his head. Really, you'd think she'd have improved her aim by now. "You'd better hope that was something Sasuke didn't care about," he added upon hearing the glass of the frame break as it made contact with a wall.
"I am not his—" Karin started to say heatedly while obviously blushing, but was interrupted by Sasuke's reappearance. The black-haired boy cast a disdainful look between the two of them before speaking.
"First off, what did you break?" he stated darkly. "Secondly, why is there a large, homicidal man in my kitchen?"
"Both are Karin's fault." Suigetsu quickly responded like a child tattling on a sibling, effectively shifting the deadly glare of the other away from him. He ruined the effort by adding on: "where's my tea?"
"…Did you miss the part about the homicidal man in my kitchen?"
"No, but that shouldn't stop you from serving your guests. Really, Uchiha, you're a pathetic host."
"The two of you aren't guests, you're intruders."
"That's not what you told the Hokage."
Sasuke made a noise of disgust, unable to argue that point, and turned his attention to its original target.
"Well? Why is Juugo here?" he demanded, ignoring the issue of what they had broken…for now.
"I couldn't just leave him there," she responded.
"Last time I checked, you didn't give a damn about him. Not to mention you were at different bases."
"Yes, well…after Orochimaru died and you left, there was a giant power void in Oto and people started trying to get as strong as possible so that they might be the one to take control. It was a bloody mess for a while…and then it ended up so that I was the last living person in Oto to know about him, so I figured I might as well take advantage of the fact and get control of the source of the Curse Seals. So I could study them, of course."
"Of course," Sasuke responded sarcastically.
"Meaning you killed all the other researchers and then went for Juugo thinking you could use him to find a way to get rid of Sasuke's seal and then he would declare his undying love for you in return, right?" Suigetsu interjected as he slouched into a more comfortable position. Karin took this opportunity to launch herself at the other nukenin and attempt to choke him.
As the two fell off the couch and began to roll around on the floor, cursing each other all the while, Sakura stared wide-eyed at them before shooting Sasuke a look that clearly said he had better explain what the hell was going on, and soon.
"Otogakure," he replied, rolling his eyes and moving to sit down. "They apparently decided to make my life hell now that they aren't off being experimented on or whatever it is they usually used to do. That one's Suigetsu, the other Karin," he made a vague gesture at the two, before nodding his head toward the door he had come from minutes before, "and that one's Juugo."
Standing cautiously in the doorway was a large man with rust colored hair, holding a teapot in one hand and a tray of teacups in the other.
"He's the one you might want to be wary of," Sasuke said, clearly bored with the introductions already, and made a gesture for the taller man to sit down with them. "The other two are too stupid to generally be a threat."
After Juugo had carefully placed the tray and teapot on a side table next to Sasuke, he stepped over the two ninja wrestling on the floor to take a seat on the couch Suigetsu had previously occupied. Sasuke promptly filled three of the cups before pouring the remainder of the tea over the two now fighting on the floor near his feet. The floors were wood in here anyway; if the floor had been carpeted he may have considered not breaking up the fight in this matter. Either way, the two pulled apart, sputtering, before launching indignant comments at Sasuke.
"You deserved it. Now clean up the mess," he responded with a look that said they had better not argue. Once both the intentionally spilled tea and broken frame were cleaned up—with much bitching and moaning in the process—the two more eccentric nukenin sat down and stared at Sasuke expectantly.
"What?" he asked, not sure if he really wanted to know.
"Where's my tea?" they asked simultaneously, then shot each other a dirty look upon realizing it.
"I don't care about this idiot, but aren't you going to serve me too, Sasuke?" Karin said with false sweetness as she stared blatantly and jealously at the teacup in Sakura's hands.
"You both have already gotten your tea," he replied, not caring how petulant he sounded, but slightly unnerved by the feeling he was explaining something to a child.
Suigetsu snickered, apparently not caring that his hair was still dripping wet.
Karin huffed indignantly.
Juugo drank his tea, seemingly unaffected by the events.
Sakura looked between the four of them and thought about how she was going to explain to Tsunade-sama what she had learned about Sasuke's guest…who apparently had now multiplied into two more people in the time it had taken him to leave the Hokage's office and return home.
Sasuke wondered if it would be less effort to kill two of the new arrivals or to go back and conquer what was left of Oto so that he would have an army of shinobi at his disposal to keep all of the lunatics in his life away from him.
The blond idiot bursting into his house screaming "Sasuke, you bastard! You said you'd pay for my ramen! Now give me my money!" helped decide the matter.
O0O0O0O
Ending Note: All reviews very much appreciated, especially since I'm really uncertain about how the last part of this went and am debating about changing the ending. Plus, now I kinda want to write some Kakashi and Suigetsu interaction, just for the hell of it. Eh, maybe I'll consider writing an alternative ending/another chapter with more Juugo, since he doesn't have much of an appearance in this…
Also, here's your daily dose of Uchiha angst from me.
BONUS DRABBLETitle: Balance
Rating: K
Author Note: Here's a little angst to go with the crack. Enjoy, if possible.
O0O0O0O
Itachi had know from the start that the only way Sasuke would ever gain the Mangekyo Sharingan would be to kill his older brother. No matter how many years had passed, no matter the distance, no matter the rest of the world, Itachi would always be Sasuke's most important person. He had made certain of that one moonlit night with the simple action of destroying his worthless clan after years of feigned obedience.
He had not counted on the Kyuubi to interfere with his plan. No, it was more than that: he had not expected anyone to interfere. Itachi had not even considered the thought that Sasuke would allow himself to grow close to anyone after the betrayal of his beloved older brother. The boy was simply too weak, too dependant, too much of an Uchiha to be able to walk away from the life he had known to even attempt to build a new one. For years, Sasuke had done just as expected.
And then, one day after he had finally graduated from the Academy, he strayed from the course so meticulously constructed for him. Suddenly, the boy who had lost everything…had found it all again, and this new life had no place for Uchiha Itachi, save for a lingering hatred in the back of the boy's mind. So Itachi had used the Kyuubi boy and an appearance by Orochimaru as an excuse to go to Konoha…and just so happened to have a violent confrontation with his younger brother.
Sasuke would not forget his path again. Itachi would make sure of that…even if it meant allowing the foolish boy to wander into the clutches of that bastard snake. But things had not gone as planned. For Uchiha Sasuke had declared Uzumaki Naruto was his best friend, and then had tried to kill him in order to obtain the Mangekyo. And Itachi's place in his younger brother's life once again seemed to have grown unstable. The Kyuubi brat had usurped his place in his little brother's heart, in his life.
It was fortunate that his current mission was to hunt down Uzumaki Naruto; it allowed him the liberty of doing exactly what he wanted without revealing he was doing so.
Granted, Itachi was growing tired of the mind games he played with Sasuke when the two met, seeing as how the boy was pathetic at them. But still, one way or another, he would reclaim his rightful place. Even if he had to die by Sasuke's hands in order to do so. But then again, maybe that was really what he had wanted all along.