/ Are damages on the paper & * is replacement for dates.
Rated M for Gore and suggestive themes
Week 1, April 1st
When I was little, I didn't understand war. I didn't know anything about them.
I was born in 1963, and was 19 when the first declaration of war was yelled upon earth. It was a constant battle on the news of which country would be the first to set down an atomic bomb. In my mind, I was wondering who would be the first to be completely and utterly afraid; and would…
'chicken out'.
I was outside when the newspaper clippings hit my face in an excruciating pattern of World War 3! Will Japan bomb the U.S because of Hiroshima and Nagasaki?!
Will the Russians invade China?
Most were utterly stupid.
But how coul-/When I-/It was horri-/
The first bomb was the last bomb most people heard of. I don't know who fired it first, and I don't care. All I know was that when it hit, people started dying. Mom called me and told me she loved me, and no matter what, we'll always be fine.
I-
Sorry, something weird was slinking around where I was writing. I made to switch cars I was sitting in.
Well, as I was saying. I was inside when the first bomb fell, it was nearby me. Flames were erupting everywhere as I scrambled to get out of my collapsing apartment. It was too hot, like the entire world was an oven.
It was so different, and so very scary. I had burns covering my arms and legs, and parts of my face. I was panting and running away from the cluster of fires. While I was running, I saw all sorts of horrible things. People running, people lying there, some squished by falling objects.
And the worst was the suicides, the sound of a gun in the air, the grunts of a person bleeding out, and the ones afraid to do so in the first place… Their screams of pain.
Week 10, June 13th
Everyone has mostly died, My burns marks itched when everyone started dying. Sorry I haven't written in a while, My pencil broke, and I couldn't find one for a while. And once I found one, I didn't want to write. But people used to—used to say that writing helped get over things.
It's just… everyone thing is so surreal. In the old zombie movies, I laughed at the gore. I really wish that I could go back and watch them and just enjoy being scared of them.
I'm just… tired, and scared of all this death. My burns have started to heal, in strange patchy patterns. There's indentations, and raised flesh wherever I had been burned. Parts of my hair have fallen out, it's so thin now. And I haven't had my period for a long time now.
No one yells or screams anymore, and I've been surviving on cans of Spam for weeks now. I tried to eat a coconut right after the bombs fell. I ended up spilling coconut milk everywhere. Now that I think about that, that was the funniest thing that's happened to me since this has happened.
Week 21 July **
I've finally stopped puking every day or every few days./ Sorry, I got some juice on that part of the page. But most of my hair has fallen out, and I've finally gotten comfortable wandering around the city. I've found a hat for my now bald head. And I've got a backpack that I stuff full of things when I go out. I found a new pillow in a store that no one had even opened. It was complete heaven. But it feels weird without hair on my head. The skin there just feels like it's hitting the pillow and running across it like silk. It was oddly comforting.
I don't really miss anyone right now, I tried finding my Moms house. I couldn't find it with all the rubble. I didn't even cry. I think those strange creatures in the city are toughening me up.
I don't really like that.
Week 22 July **
I saw the first person in a long time today. He had very short brown hair that was growing out from the baldness that developed from the bombs. He was whistling happily. I didn't approach him, I simply watched him from a concrete building that was still standing. He carried a huge backpack filled to the brim. A flimsy leather hat was tied to it, and when he reached a warm spot in the courtyard he was walking around, he took it off and put it on his head. He wandered around while I sat peeking through the window eating Spam.
I don't know why I didn't call out to him. Maybe I thought he was going to hurt me like those creatures that are all around. I was craving human attention.
He just scared me by appearing out of nowhere.
Week 40 ***
I've lost count of the months, and I've never been one for math. So I don't think I'd be able to calculate the months. I thought I saw a girl the other day. In a rusted Volkswagen Rabbit while acid rain began to fall. I had to hurry inside so I wouldn't hurt myself. She had black hair though, and a small red toy. I'm happy that I wasn't that young when the bombs fell.
I tried to go back and find her, but she wasn't there anymore.
Week 97
I haven't seen anyone else, and I really just want to see anyone. Even those weird creatures that are actually nice, I like those a lot.
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I don't know the date anymore
I'm sick
I'm really scared
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I miss you Mom