Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip

Chapter one

Matt paced up and down. He couldn't handle this. He didn't know what to think anymore. This wasn't the first time that he and Harriet had argued. They were always arguing. And yet, this time it seemed different somehow. Why? He didn't know. He threw himself into his chair trying to make sense of all that had happened, all that was said. "I've thought about sleeping with him…we're going to be finished tonight, don't be scared….Don't be scared" Those last three words echoed in his head over and over again until eventually he thought his head would explode. He was so deep in thought that he didn't notice the door open.

"Matt?" Said Suzanne. Matt just continued to stare into space. Suzanne didn't know whether he had heard her or not or whether he was jus ignoring her. "Matt?" She said again, a little louder.

Matt jumped and turned to look at her. "Huh?" He said, surprised to see her standing there.

"Are you ok?" She asked, looking at him with concern. "It's 4:00 in the morning."

"Exactly Suzanne. I've still got work to do for the show tonight and I won't be able to rest until it's done" Matt replied looking slightly irritated at being interrupted.

"Right, sorry. It's just…Matt, I'm worried about you. You hardly sleep, you hardly eat, you hardly even go home. It's not healthy."

"I'm fine Suzanne!"

Matt couldn't help but notice the hurt look on Suzanne's voice at his apparent lack of thankfulness so he added, "I appreciate your concern, but I need to work."

"Ok" Suzanne smiled. "Just let me know if you need anything."

"Thanks," Matt replied, smiling back.

As the door closed behind her, Matt took a deep breath. He could relax again now. He could go back to his thoughts. He hated lying to her. She was a terrific assistant and she had become a good friend to him. He wanted to tell her the truth, but he didn't even know what the truth was anymore. Did he really care about the show getting done? Did he care about the ratings? Or was he just annoyed and upset over fighting with Harriet? He didn't know. He just wished he knew why this time was different. Why did he have a bad feeling that she meant what she said, that they would never be together again? Why was he jealous that she had spent so much time with Luke recently? Why did he have so many questions and no answers?

Matt thought back a few months, to when he had his back operation. The doctor had given him some powerful painkillers. Not only had they numbed all his physical pain, but also his mental and emotional anguish that he was feeling at the time. It had been a few months since he had last taken the pills but he hadn't yet got rid of them. They were still in his desk drawer waiting to be disposed of. He knew he should just leave them there, take them to be got rid of later on in the day, but he couldn't. He slowly opened his drawer, took the pills out and held them, staring at them for a minute or two, not quite sure what to do. He slowly unscrewed the top and poured a few into his shaking hand. He picked up the bottle of vodka on his desk. His eyes went from the pills to the vodka. He opened his mouth and poured the pills in and then swallowed a mouthful of vodka. He closed his eyes, surprised at how quickly the pills mixed with the alcohol took effect. Nothing seemed to matter anymore. Nothing bothered him now. He opened his laptop and began typing.

XxXxXxXx

"Danny, can I talk to you for a minute?"

Danny looked up to see a concerned looking Suzanne stood in his doorway.

"Sure, what's up?" He asked.

"It's about Matt. He was here at 4:00 this morning working and he's hardly eaten anything. I'm worried about him Danny. It's not healthy."

"Matt's a workaholic. He always has been. I'm sure he's fine."

"Danny…"

Danny sighed. He knew she was right. He knew that Matt had been working too hard recently. Danny knew Matt too well. He knew that when Matt started working non-stop that something, or someone, was bothering him. Danny had a pretty good idea who that someone was.

"Suzanne, you're right. Matt works hard to escape from his problems because that's the only thing he can think to do. Don't worry, I'll sort it out."

"Are you sure? You've got a lot on your plate too, what with Jordan and the baby…"

"Matt's my best friend, and he's always stuck by me no matter what. I'll talk to him, you have nothing to worry about" Danny told her as he gave her a reassuring smile.

Suzanne smiled back. "Thanks Danny," she said.

When Suzanne had left, Danny sighed to himself. He just wished he knew what was going on.

XxXxXxXx

Matt was sitting alone in a bar. He couldn't take it anymore. He had to get out of there. Everywhere he turned, there she was. Whenever he closed his eyes, there she was. He couldn't sleep. He couldn't eat. Not being with her was driving him crazy. Seeing her with Luke was driving him crazy. He picked up his vodka and downed it in one.

"Same again," He grunted to the barman, Tom. Tom and Harriet knew each other very well. Whenever things got too much for Matt to handle, he came to this bar. It was the only bar nearby where no one else from Studio 60 came to.

"Don't you think you've had enough, Matt?" Tom said as he poured what seemed like the tenth vodka in ten minutes.

"I'll be the judge of that" Matt grumbled.

"Matthew?" a voice from behind him said. Matt turned quickly, and as he did he fell off the stool that he was sitting on.

"Are you okay?" Harriet asked, concerned.

Oh no, what's she doing here? A voice in Matt's head asked. He looked behind her, and saw Luke standing there, smirking.

"How much have you had to drink?" Harriet asked.

"Not a lot" Matt mumbled as he tried to stand up. But as he did, the room started spinning and he fell over again.

"Matt, I'm going to take you home, make you a coffee and we're going to talk" Harriet told him calmly.

"You've gotta be kidding me!" said Luke. "You're cutting our date short to be with him?!

"Luke, Matt's my friend and he needs me right now. I'll call you later."

Luke sighed, obviously annoyed at having his evening ruined by his girlfriend's ex-boyfriend, but he didn't argue. Instead, he went to the bar and got himself a drink.

Matt and Harriet walked to his car. Matt was struggling to walk in a straight line, let alone stand up straight. As they reached his car, Harriet held out her hand for his keys.

"What, you don't think I'm capable of driving my own car?"

Harriet sighed impatiently. "Matt, you've obviously had a lot to drink tonight so there's no way I'm letting you drive! Just give me your keys."

"I don't need your help. I can get home by myself. I don't need anyone."

Matt had begun to shout and people had started looking.

Harriet signed again. "Matt, I know something's wrong so let's just go and sort it out."

Matt suddenly began to feel drained of energy so he stopped arguing and just handed over his keys.

"Thank you."

When they got back to Matt's house, Harriet made him a coffee and they sat down on the couch. Matt felt uncomfortable. He knew that Harriet wanted to find out what was wrong, He wasn't good at sharing his feelings, especially when the main cause of his misery was sitting beside, staring at him with those gorgeous eyes, the eyes that had caused him to first fall in love with her all those years ago.

"Matt?" He felt her cool hand grip his.

"Matt, look at me" she pleaded. "I know something's wrong, don't try and deny it. Just tell me what's wrong…please."

"Nothing."

"Matthew…I know you're lying to me. There's a reason why you're a writer and not an actor" she joked, hoping that it would lighten the mood. Instead, she saw tears lining his eyes. Matt never cried. He always managed to keep hold of his emotions.

"Matt, just be honest with me."

Suddenly, he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"I love you Harri," he blurted out. "I never stopped loving you. I never should have let you go, it was the worst thing I ever did. Seeing you with Luke all the time is killing me."

"Matthew, that's just the drink talking" Harriet said softly.

"It's not Harri, I'll prove it"

He leaned over and kissed her. "Matt," she said taken aback. But she couldn't stop herself. She leaned over, and kissed him. It turned more urgent and passionate. Matt stood up and led Harriet to his bedroom.