Leliana usually keeps her private letters in her room.
Locked in a box, locked in a drawer, locked in her room.
She is protective of her correspondences, more so from her love, and keeps them safe, to read over them time and time again when she needs them. When she needs to be reminded of Solona's love for her, reminded of Solona's continued existence out there in the world where Leliana cannot see her. Cannot touch her.
Cannot love her.
It is hard, but they both have their missions. Missions that will ultimately bring them back together and for good.
Still, she has a new letter and has yet to read it. So it sits in a locked drawer of her desk in the rookery. Not ideal but she has no intention of leaving it there. She will carry it around with her if she has too until she can return to her rooms. It had already sat inside her tunic for several hours after it had arrived while she met with Inquisitor Adaar then shared an evening meal with Josephine.
Josephine who knows her so well and could sense her distraction. Josephine who is a blessing who kept their meal short and is never offended when Leliana is distracted like this.
When she returns to her rookery to wait for a final crow she finds herself unable to wait any longer. Wanting a little privacy she settles into her cot in the corner with the letter.
It doesn't take long to realise it's one of those letters and thinks perhaps she should retire to her room but then she's already settled, her gloves and chainmail already gone. It's already very, very late.
She keeps reading.
Solona was never one for preliminaries.
My love, It has been too long since I have touched you, tasted you. I am surrounded by things that remind me of you and it has me on edge at all times. I find my magic is even out of control, and I cannot bring myself pleasure without setting something on fire.
Leliana chuckles to herself. She knows this to be true.
I need you. I always forget when we're together just how much. When you're gone and I am alone I am all need and wanting, worse and worse with each passing day until I am in a constant state of arousal, am always thinking about you. Thinking about stripping you, every layer you wear to hide yourself from the world removed until you are bare before me. Bare only for me.
I know all your secrets Leliana. There is no hiding, never was. I would have you bare for me always if I could, for my pleasure and yours of course, and I know you would like it. Love it.
Leliana gasps because Solona knows her too well, even with all this time apart she knows what Leliana wants. What she needs. She slides a hand down her body thinking about it, just resting over her already too hot core.
I am in the mood to bind you to my will, I find. To have you bound to both my body and soul. Bound to my bed for as long as I need. I could use magic but I find it too draining to maintain when you make me scream and I would not have you released just because you think I am done. And I know how much you love the chaff and pressure of rope around your wrists. You think I don't know, that I hadn't noticed the difference, but you are so much wetter when we play with rope instead of magic.
Leliana shivers, shifts on hand to her breast through her cotton shirt and is aware she shouldn't do this here but already feels a little lost in Solonas words and her own memories.
If you were here I would put my mouth on you, every part of you, tease moans and sighs from you, I would build you and leave you there, unable to come without my say so, my touch, my magic. You would be so wet for me, even before I reached your cunt, all hot and slick and all mine. I would flick my tongue over your clit, just around it, make you need more. And I would only give you one finger, just one, deep enough to feel it without it really making a difference. You do like to be teased and tortured by your little mage. I have done it before, do you remember, in that little tavern in Rialto? I'm sure they heard you begging.
She presses a finger to her clit now, following the same path as Solona describes. Just lightly, the same teasing touches that have her breathing too quickly, her heart beating too hard too soon. She bites her bottom lip to keep from moaning as she presses a little harder, a little more directly. Her eyes flutter shut for a moment but she remembers there is more, more of Solona's words, more to imagine.
When you're vibrating with need I would shift to have you make me come. Your tongue is so wicked Leliana and you know just how to make me scream. And scream I would because it's been so long and everyone should know how good you make me feel. How much you love me. How much I love you. I can imagine it now, that clever little tongue of yours following an old rhythm inside me, out, up to my clit and back inside. Chasing and tasting every part of until I cannot hold myself up any longer until I can only pull on your hair to ground us both as I come. I would have you lick me clean until I am almost to the edge again, perhaps I would even use my own fingers to send myself over the edge once more. Then, then you would have your reward, my love.
Leliana presses two fingers into her body, the angle odd and her leggings restrictive but she doesn't care, can't stop to care. Can only thrust her fingers in and out of her body as hard as she can while reading Solona's letter.
I know how to make you come so easily now, it's second nature, no effort a little electricity over your clit, a little too much perhaps, your whole body jerks under my hands in reaction. I press inside of you, I would not waste time again, tease again, three fingers deep and curling, pressing hard until you are crying. And when you break I would keep going, on and on, until you were begging me again. Begging me to stop. Then, then I would move to hold you, still tied down, kiss you until you can breathe again until you stop crying and shaking and are no longer the broken girl I met in Lothering.
Leliana is crying as she comes. Her thumb pressing on her clit and her fingers pressing exactly where Solona's would she manages to stay relatively silent but cries all the same. She will never be whole without Solona by her side. Without her presence, she's still the broken girl she met in Lothering.
She knows without Leliana, her love is still the same scared mage she met in the village too.
She lets the letter slip from her fingers and starts to doze off without reading Solona's sign off.
"Holy crap," Sera hisses.
"Maker," Herah mutters.
"Can you reach the letter?" Sera asks, trying to reach through the bannisters.
"Sera!"
"I wanna know wot she was readin'."
Herah reaches forward then stops when Leliana speaks.
"I wouldn't if I were you, Inquisitor," she says, opening on an eye to look at her. Sera ducks down out of view. "You do not need both hands to close rifts."
"She'd do it y'know," Sera whispers and Herah pulls her hand away.
"Sorry," the Inquisitor says, and Leliana tries not to smile when Sera grumbles in pain and reappears between the bannisters, held up by the Inquisitor.
"Sorry," the elf says before she's put down.
Leliana stands, gathers up her letter and comes to stand above, leaning over the bannister to look down at them. "We shall never speak of this, are we clear," she says.
They both nod.
"Goodnight Leliana," Herah says, "sorry," she adds as she starts down the stairs. Sera follows, grumbling a little, either about being picked up or not getting to read her letter, Leliana isn't sure. Once they are out of sight and out of earshot she returns to her letter, to read the last few lines.
Leliana wants to cry again, is glad Herah and Sera are gone because she cannot stop the tears that spill over. She collapses back onto the cot and takes deep breaths until she calm enough to return to her room.
I will see you soon my love, in a few weeks even, if you can wait that long. I love you. Solona.