Becoming that Person
by zeilfanaat
Category: Drama
Ratings: G/K
Disclaimer: Sue Thomas: F. B. Eye does not belong to me. The show was created by the Johnson brothers.
Spoilers: Breaking Up Is Hard To Do
Summary: Missing scene of what Jack was thinking when Sue and Lucy drove away, leaving Jack standing there in front of the house where he and Sue had lived during their 'marriage'.
Challenge: i2eye Fan Forum's 4th Anniversary M/S & A/S Challenge. ST #10. Was voted to be Favorite Missing Scene!
A/N: Not beta-read, so feel free to point out any mistakes I may have made. Also, I'm doing this from what I remember of the episode, and I haven't seen it in a while. So if something doesn't correspond with the episode, please let me know.
Finished: 1st of September, 2011
Jack watched as Lucy drove off with Sue. While the conversation had been easy and witty as always, Jack truly had meant to ask Sue out for dinner. He had actually liked living in the suburban house with Sue and Levi as companions. Yes, he had felt at home there. As if he belonged. No, not just him - Sue and Levi too.
Sue Hudson... for a few days, she'd carried his name. A glow washed through his heart. It had felt so right. He was sad to realise she'd be going back to Sue Thomas now. No longer would they share a house. No more waking up to a strong cup of coffee, or having to wake Sue up.
She'd looked so positively cute, both when she'd been asleep and when she had just woken up, that he'd been sorely tempted to press a kiss on her forehead instead of just shaking her shoulder.
In fact, it had been difficult sometimes to stop himself from going too far, it being 'only' an undercover assignment. He had meant what he had said - for undercover work, you had to become that person. Only thing was, he didn't have to change much, because the undercover life they had lived had been exactly how he had envisioned his future life. Well, not exactly... he didn't intend to sleep in separate bedrooms, obviously.
Jack sighed as he slowly walked to his own car and opened the door. He should have put a stop to the whole undercover idea from the start. He should have realised that it was a bad idea. No, it had been a good idea, and it had turned out as a success, as far as the case was concerned. The problem was though, now that he had become that person that he had had to be for the undercover assignment, he wasn't sure he could go back to the person that he had been.
The step between the single Jack Hudson and the undercover married Jack Hudson may have been small, but it was as if in the process of making the transition between the two, he had found a piece of himself that had been missing. He hadn't had to pretend to love Sue… the truth was, for those few days they had spent as man and wife, he had to stop pretending that he didn't love her! And he had stopped pretending. Even to himself.
But now that he had found that part of him, how was he ever going to pull the wool back over their collective eyes, including his own? He didn't even know if he wanted to…
A sudden thought struck him. What if Sue was battling with the same… 'problem'? Could there be a future, a real one, for the two of them. Not just as friends, but as a married couple?
No, he told himself decisively. Sue had just followed orders. She had done an amazing job at the undercover assignment. But it was clear that she had had enough of his company for a while. After all, she had just turned down his dinner invitation…
He sighed. Well, perhaps it was for the best. Perhaps he could use a guy's night out to pull himself together. He had to become the person again who did not know what it was like to live together with the woman he lo- hold that thought! Wrong direction, Hudson, he firmly told himself. You're single again – no, still single. They had never had an official wedding after all. Too bad, she had looked so beautiful in that wedding dress, even if it had been a quickly rented dress. She'd taken his breath away. He wondered what she would look like when she would wear the wedding dress that she would pick for her real wedding someday.
Realizing that his thoughts had once again gone astray, he came to a decision. He got in his car, closed the door, and took out his cell phone. "Bobby? Hey, that offer for a guy's night out still good? … Ok, see you in half an hour."
He needed the distraction. Hopefully it would be enough to at least allow him to think of the past few days as a dream or something. And then perhaps at some point in time he would look back on it as a very successful undercover op, where both participants had done an exceedingly good job of becoming the part they had needed to play. Because in the end, that still was all it was: an act. And soon he would be able to ignore the voice in his head that was currently calling him a liar.
He made the mistake then of watching the house one more time, and he allowed the truth one more minute of freedom as he thought of the lives they were leaving behind there. Even if it broke his heart, he knew he had to move on and forget how wonderful it had been to share the daily life of that beautiful woman and her loyal companion.
Then he turned away and drove off.
The End