The Tale of Gohansel and Gretello

Once upon a time there was a little boy named Gohansel who lived with his tall, green, masculine sister, Gretello, their not-too-bright father, Goku, and nasty old stepmother, Freeza. Goku had not worked in many months – in fact, never – and so there was no money left to buy all the food that hungry Saiyan woodsmen and children devour so rapidly. The sexually androgynous stepmother persuaded Goku to take his children into the woods and leave them there for the hungry desert bandits to finish off.

Gohansel and Gretello overheard this plan, and as Goku led them into the woods, Gretello left a trail of breadcrumbs to follow home. What Gretello did not know is that the hungry little half-Saiyan, Gohansel, was munching on the bread, so there was no trail to follow home. After their father left them, they became hopelessly lost.

After wandering through the forest, they finally came upon a magnificent house made of gingerbread and candy. Gohansel, not filled up on breadcrumbs, hungrily tore off pieces of the house and ate them, as Gretello looked on with disgust.

They did not know that the codgey old man who lived there was really a pervert named Muten Roshi, who lured women and girls inside with sweets and then would attempt to have his way with them.

So they innocently went inside.

The pervert Roshi decided that Gretello was too feisty to make moves on right away, so he locked her in a cage and made Gohansel sort his vast pornography collection. Gohansel gave Gretello senzu beans to keep up her strength. The pervert would check on the girl, thinking that she would begin to be more submissive, and left her in the cage to weaken. But he grew very impatient and one day decided to try his luck. He had Gohansel prepare the "Romance Lounge", but Gohansel was a very clever little boy. He pushed old Roshi into the room and locked the door. Then he let Gretello out of the cage.

After much searching they finally made their way home, where they found their father. Their stepmother had since been killed by a mysterious youth named Trunks, and their father had inherited a vast planet pirating corporation and a great deal of wealth from the departed Freeza. He was overjoyed to see his children again, and they all lived happily ever after.

The End