Hey everyone. I'm back again. I'm not happy with this story. I was listening to "Stand Up" by: Fireflight when the idea for this story popped into my head. I was originally going to wirte this for SasuSaku, but I decided against it. Next is YahiKona and NaruKarin, so, yeah. I'm pretty busy. Anyway, I do not own Pandora Hearts, or any song lyrics you may find. I tried angst with this couple, and it doesn't work. Love, favorite, review. If you want to. Anyway, I hope you enjoy it.
I looked out the window, the rain drops running down the crystalline panels, the sky brightening for a split second, lightning crackling across the sky, cutting through the clouds. I closed my pink eyes, clutching my hands to my heart. He was out there, risking his life, while all I did was stand here praying for his safety. So much for helping him find what he needed to find. I wanted to be of use to him, not something that would hold him back.
"You're not broken." I murmured, watching the lightning dance across the horizon, shining through the raindrops, making it all the more brighter. What could I do? I couldn't fight. All I had was my paper fan, and my Chain. But that's it. How could I possibly help him? All I'd do is get in the way like a clumsy little fool. I was the lady of the Rainsworth household. What was there that I could do other than sit in an office signing papers or "governing" my little plot of land like a good girl? My mother would never let me go. And he'd never forgive me.
"You're not alone." I whispered, gently pushing the window open with my right hand, the rain drops falling onto my face, my pink eyes glowing under the drops as the lightning flashed across them, like crystal fire. I had to do something. But what?
"You're not selfish." I looked down, as the rain flowed through my hair, sliding down my face and dripping off of my chin after the rain threaded between my glistening pink eyes. I had to help him. He was going to get hurt otherwise. I looked over to the corner, seeing the lifeless face of Little Emily. Or what I thought to be lifeless. Her frozen smiling face stared back at my rain streaked face, her cute little eyes giving me hope. I cracked a smile, a gentle one, as the rain pounded my left side.
"Thank you, Emily. I'll protect him." I shut the window, and ran to the corner, picking up the doll in my hands gently, smiling at her. Break…The memory of Break's lollipop crusade this morning danced across my eyes. His smile when Alice struggled to take the last cherry lollipop from him. Gil's annoyed look when Break had hugged him. Oz's confused expression when Break poked him for the grape lollipop the young contractor was holding. I smiled, warm lines streaming from my eyes, which I knew to be tears. But they weren't sad tears. They were happy tears. I looked back at the sky, lightning still crackling through the night sky, the stars hiding behind luminous clouds, their light faint. I smiled, and held Emily close, the puppet getting warmer in seconds as I held her.
"I'm coming." I announced, turning toward the door, setting Emily on my left shoulder gently, before opening the door and running through it, heading down the hall.
"Where do you think you're going, Sharon?" The voice of my mother, Shelly Rainsworth stopped me in my tracks. I faced her curious glare evenly.
"Mother, I wish to assist Break." I replied, smiling at Emily, who smiled back without even thinking about it. Mother shook her head, and sighed.
"Sharon, you will do no such thing. Break can take care of himself." Wrong…Wrong…So wrong…He can't, because he's hurting…I looked down, and closed my eyes, a tear falling to the floor. My mother gasped at this, her surprise spiking across the air.
"Sharon, what's wrong?" I didn't reply. I just started trembling. I couldn't help him, not with my mother blocking my path. He was going to get hurt, and I couldn't stop it from happening. I was helpless, and he was still breaking in half. I swallowed a shallow breath.
"…I just…Want to be of use to him…" My mother put her hand on my shoulder, and brushed my tears away gently.
"Sharon, it's going to be okay. He'll be alright. After all, he has Oz, Gilbert, Alice, and the others with him. Just go to bed and relax, okay?" I nodded, and she walked me to my room, Emily slowly reaching over and hugging my ear, my eyes widening in alarm.
"It's going to be alright, Lady Sharon. I'll keep you company." Emily whispered in my ear, as we walked through my door, my hand closing it after my mother said her goodbyes. I slid under the covers minutes later, and went black, Emily snoring softly beside my head, still gripping my ear in her arms.
"It has a really nice flavor once you get past the wrapper, you know." My eyes opened slowly, and I sat up, looking around. My eyes stopped on Gilbert, who stood in the corner, leaning up against the wall, his green eyes brooding. Oz and Alice sat on the floor playing cards, Break chewing a lollipop above them, Emily sitting on his shoulder, fully alive, her face happy. I smiled.
"Hey guys." I muttered, swinging my legs over the side of my bed, everyone looking up at me. Alice waved her hand, glancing at her cards.
"Long time no see, Lady Sharon." She replied, Oz jumping to his feet, and hugging me.
"Lady Sharon, you're alright!" I nodded, and smiled.
"Yeah, I'm fine. I didn't get hurt or anything, so I don't know why you were worried, Oz." I answered, slightly confused. Gilbert smiled from the corner.
"Lady Shelly told us that you were worried, and that you cried yourself to sleep." I gulped.
"She did, did she?" I muttered. Gilbert shrugged, and walked over to the door, gesturing to Oz and Alice.
"Guys, take the card game outside. We promised Lady Shelly that we'd leave when Lady Sharon woke up. She's awake now, so we leave." Oz and Alice followed, slightly disappointed. Once the door shut behind them, Break looked up at me, his lone red eye taking on a serious glaze.
"Why were you worried, Sharon?" He asked, blinking expectantly. I sighed.
"You always hide where you're going and what you're doing from me. You never tell me anything! You always leave me in the dark. You never let me in." I answered, looking away. Break widened his eyes for a few seconds.
"Milady…" I looked back at him, and reached into my pocket, my fingers closing around my paper fan as I gritted my teeth. I'm. So. Weak. And. Useless! I pulled it out, holding it in my fingers tightly. A lone tear slid down the left side of my face, another clustering at the corner of my right eye, glistening with pink light from my burning eyes, my voice choking into sobs. Not to mention pathetic, dependent, unable to stand on my own.
"My life…Has no purpose. It would be empty, had I never have met you, Break." I murmured, dropping my head. A low sigh was Break's only reply. I shook my head.
"I've tried so hard to help you, yet I still fall short. I was right, you are not broken. I'm the one who needs healing. I'm so pathetic. I can't do anything for myself. I constantly put you in danger with my very existence. I can't live without-" Break's arms crushed me against him, silencing me.
"Sharon, don't say things like that. If you weren't here, who else would I eat lollipops with? Like I told you before, your life is precious to me. I'm here for you, and you alone." I closed my eyes, tears falling down my face.
"Break…You'll have Emily to eat lollipops with. She's attached to your shoulder." I answered, managing a weak smile. Break sighed, letting me go.
"True, put I was talking about a more ladylike presence, not my puppet." Emily scowled, and crossed her arms over her chest, pursing her lips.
"So I'm not a lady now, is that it?" Emily questioned accusingly, Break ignoring her. I smiled, another few tears falling to the floor.
"But…I'm just…" I replied, looking down. Break laughed, his cheerful laugh causing me to grip my paper fan even tighter, and lash out at him with it.
"WHY ARE YOU STANDING THERE LAUGHING? I'M TRYING TO HAVE A SERIOUS CONVERSTATION WITH YOU, AND YOU THINK MY FEELINGS ARE FUNNY? HOW DARE YOU MOCK ME YOU IMBECILE!" I shouted, slamming my fan into the sides of his face, then bringing it down onto the top of his skull, poor Break dropping to the floor with a blood red face and an innocently cocky expression. I gritted my teeth, silently cursing myself. Dang it…I'm so weak…I felt the sobs I was holding back escape, and I dropped to the floor, my knees hitting the ground. Hold me, Break. I let myself fall against him, crying my eyes out, Break looking down at me, his soft smile being the only source of warmth for me to reach for, that image burning itself into my mind. I could feel Break seeping into my pores, flowing through my bloodstream, his very presence enough to soothe me. He didn't need to hold me. I was starting to heal just fine without his arms around me, cradling me like I was a baby. Break didn't give out comfort. He wasn't the kind of person who just out of the blue held someone. He gave himself to people whenever he deemed it necessary.
He never was the type to console anyone. Not even when they were in tears. Normally, he could get by with just his oddball and carefree ways, but not this time. Break was a warm person. A warm, whole, strong, and bright person. I couldn't live without that. I couldn't live without Break. He knew this. I was absolutely positive that he kept it in the back of his mind whenever he left without giving me any clue as to where he was going or what he was doing.
Break rested his jaw on the top of my head, his lips curling up in a slight smile. He was just listening to me cry. He was letting me bleed it all out. This was the only comfort he could give, or rather knew how to give. He didn't know how to give out love. He didn't know how to soothe. He didn't know how to console. He didn't know how to be human. Yet in that simple fault, he was human. None of us know what it truly means to be human. The Will of the Abyss doesn't even know. Alice, Oz, and Gilbert don't even know. But most of all, even the loneliest of hearts, Break and I, don't even know what it means to be human.
"Sharon, are you alright now?" He asked when my sobs subsided, lifting his hand up to pat my back gently. I looked up, blinking my pink eyes, and smiling.
"Yeah, thanks Break." I replied. Break smiled.
"It's okay. You kind of fell on top of me, so, yeah." I narrowed my pink eyes. What a pervert. I gripped the paper fan in my pocket, just in case.
"I'm sorry, for worrying. I know that's not something you want me to do, but…" I replied, lowering my head. Break tilted his head to the side, his lone red eye gentle.
"I tell you not to worry for a reason, you know. I also hide those things from you for the same reason. Do you have any idea what that is?" I shook my head, closing my eyes.
"Not a clue." Cool fingers lifted my chin back up.
"Because it isn't any of your business. I don't want to you to worry because then you'll end up getting yourself in danger because you want to help. I don't want you risking your life for me, okay? I want you to stay safe. Your mother would kill me if you even got so much as a scratch. You understand now, Sharon?" I nodded through tears.
"Yeah, I get it now. You actually do care." I answered. Break's lip curled up.
"Whoever said I didn't care? Did Gilly tell you that?" I laughed, and shook my head.
"Nope. I thought of it myself."
"Well it's wrong. In fact, it's quite the opposite, Lady Sharon."