6829: Constitution, dressing yourself up in French colors and proceeding to appear out of the fog next to a certain British frigate was not funny!
6829a: The four months in drydock you're getting is a kinder payment than what the Admirals have in store for you.
6829b: Now while you're in drydock, you can apologize to Surprise when she comes by!

Surprise enjoyed the open sea. She had a whole patrol area to herself and everything was so quiet.

Up ahead lie a fog bank. She wasn't sure exactly why but it made her uneasy. Her course had her sailing straight for it but as she drew closer she couldn't shake the feeling she was being watched...

Not far inside the thick fog, USS Constitution was snickering. She hadn't originally planned for this but after Victory shut down her fun parade with the British frigates and when she heard that Surprise was occupying the patrol area next to hers she simply couldn't resist a little prank. You know, a little ribbing for old time's sake.

The little British frigate held her course, coming straight for the larger American.

"Just a little closer..." Constitution purred, her guns run out as she turned broadside. She wouldn't actually fire into her. Her guns had no shot loaded and would only put out a puff of harmless smoke. But it was the effect she was looking for.

With Surprise in range, Constitution unleashed her port battery. The flashes appeared through the mist. Surprise gave a scream of terror, relieving Acheron's attack all over again.

"She's got me! She's got me!" She wailed.

Constitution was cackling as she tacked around to present her loaded starboard battery but as she did so, the wind pushed her out of the fog and directly into Surprise's line of fire.

So frightened by the Yank's previous actions, the British frigate didn't hesitate and fired her bow chasers into Constitution's rigging. Unlike the latter's guns, Surprise's were loaded with shot. The big round balls found their mark against the wood and Constitution winced, instinctively firing in return and momentarily forgetting that she had no shot of her own.

Surprise turned broadside, bringing her big cannon to bear and all 14 cannon were pointed squarely at Constitution's masts.

The Yank's eyes widened. "Ah shi..."

The shots found their mark and Constitution's mainmast toppled, causing the frigate to wheel around sharply where the wind caught her remaining sails and forced her on her side. Surprise advanced for the kill.

"No, don't shoot! Friendly! Friendly!" Constitution wailed, her eyes squeezed tightly shut.

Surprise paused, finally noticing that her opponent was in fact Constitution and not the French frigate that haunted her dreams.

"Connie? What the fuck!" She cried.

"Um, surprise?" Constitution tried, offering a shaky grin.

Surprise growled and Constitution realized that it might've been marginally better if she kept her big mouth shut!

"Surprise this!"