This has been a long time coming. I'm bored. Don't feel like writing any of my other stories. Let's do this! Akira Is Still An Asshole Part 2! Redundancy! I used Wikipedia and wikis to write half this story!
New Game... Start!
Challenge Accepted Harder
(By UknownHero)
Sae Niijima was someone that you'd expect to be prepared for anything. Generally seen as a strong, serious and competent woman in a male dominated profession, she was someone no one should really mess with even in the worse of circumstances. It was an uphill battle, but she had proven herself as a great asset in the police force. She had directed many investigations in her career, solved many cases and had endured interrogations that had gone on for days where all of her skills were put to the test.
This was no different… even if this kid is the leader of the Phantom Thieves.
As she walked into the interrogation room, she estimated she only had an hour, two hours tops before she was forced to stop questioning him. She needed to make it quick, find out as much information as she could, learn about whatever the Hell this "other world" truly was and find his accomplices. This was just another interrogation to her.
But she made a fatal mistake.
She underestimated Akira Kurusu... and his friends.
She never saw it coming.
"Now, tell me your account of everything." Sae said to the boy. Those bastards drugged him so his memories were going to be difficult to recall. "…Start from the very beginning."
"…The very beginnin'?" Ryuji asked, forcing down the devious smile trying to break out from his face.
"Every single detail." The prosecutor said in a stern tone.
Challenged effin' accepted.
[RYUJI]
'I've made a horrible mistake.' Sae thought.
"Katekyō Hitman Reborn! is a manga written and illustrated by Akira Amano. The manga is about a young boy, Tsunayoshi Sawada, who discovers that he is next in line to become boss of the Vongola family, a powerful Mafia organization. The Vongolas' most powerful hitman, a gun-toting infant named Reborn, is sent to teach Tsuna how to be a boss."
'I've made a terrible, horrible mistake.' Sae thought, repeatedly slamming her head against the table.
"The manga's chapters were serialized in Japan in Shueisha's Weekly Shōnen Jump from May 2004 to November 2012 and have been published in forty-two tankōbon volumes. An anime adaptation of the series by Artland aired on TV Tokyo from October 7, 2006 to September 25, 2010. Viz Media licensed the manga and the streaming rights for the television series for an English-language release. Discotek Media licensed the home video rights for the television series for subbed-only releases. A number of video games, light novels, and other products were also created based on the series."
"SHUT UP! PLEASE JUST SHUT THE FUCK UP!" Sae cried out before collapsing onto her seat, crying profusely.
"Hey, all this shit is important! And where was I…? Oh! Reborn! is one of the best-selling Weekly Shōnen Jump manga, with several volumes top sellers in Japan. Reviewers praised its humor, storylines, fights and the infant characters' design. However, they said it grew more violent after volume eight, becoming a typical shōnen series."
"Please… just be quiet…" Sae sobbed and begged, very seriously contemplating suicide right now.
"Oh, did you hear about the next Vongolas Boss? Sounds effin' awesome! Anyways, what I did after watching that is…"
[ANN]
"...Then I had mochi sweetened with kinako, then I had some daifuku along with my chocolate cake, then I had dorayaki filled anko and ice-cream, then I had some dango topped with melted marshmallow, then I had some Mont Blanc with my coffee and some more dango, then I had anmitsu along with creamed anmitsu, then I ate some crepes and then came for seconds, then I had some anko as well as some dorayaki, then I had some coffee jelly along with some more coffee and curry, then I had some higashi as well as namagashi and before that I had some honey toast, before getting some imagawayaki, then after all the honey toast I got some manju, then I had some mocha ice-cream with even more mochi, then I had some shiruko along with sakuramochi, then I had some yokan and hanabiramochi -wow, there's so types of mochi I ate that day- then I had some..."
How many sweets can this girl eat in a single day!? And she's still as thin as a fucking toothpick!
Oh God, she's still going!
Why doesn't she have diabetes!? Because it would be so much better than being here spouting out bullshit!
"...Then I had some hishimochi and some karukan and then I had some botamochi to finish it all off. Then I had some yatsuhashi, along with some gyuhi, then came some tokoroten and my uiro and yubeshi, then I had some kinkan no kanroni, and finally finished my day with akumaki, hakuto jelly, sata andagi, pear tarts, peach tars, monaka, kuzumochi, yomogi daifuku and ichigo. The next day..."
[YUSUKE]
"Look at this drawing! Such majesty cannot be replicated! The Son's Drawing from 1982 is a prime example of the late 20th century naïve art movement. It was made by a border inspector's son, an Arstotzkan child who aspires to the ideology and aesthetic of primitivism rather than the socialist realism that characterizes most art produced in the region."
"How did you get your phone in here?" Sae asked but was promptly ignored as the young continued.
"The work itself depicts a shielded eagle, similar to the one seen on Arstotzkan emblem, watching the back of a brave warrior identified as papa (the Sanskrit word for sin) who is engaged in an intense firefight. The clever double meaning demonstrates the artist's grasp of the double-edged nature of Arstotzkan "Heroism." Some critics have pointed out that the color and the stance of the eagle are references to the artist and his family's inevitable flight from Arstotzka to Obristan, a feat that deeply traumatized the artist before the actual escape."
"That is a child's drawing. And how did you get your phone in here!?" Sae demanded.
"Be quiet woman! I am the professional artist and this drawing is the masterpiece that inspired generations and generations of famous paints like Da Vinci and Mozart!" Yusuke shouted out in genuine anger before calming down and continuing. "As you can see quite obviously, the Son's Drawing is characterized by strong use of pattern and unrefined color, characteristics which pay no respect to formal qualities of what is usually expected from "a painting." It abandons the rules of the perspective as defined by the painters of the Renaissance and replaces them with pure and authentic child-like creative impulses. This is an emotional drive of creativity and primitivism displayed in a peculiar manner."
"Are you ever going to explain how you kept phone in here?" Sae continued to ask, not expecting an answer any time soon.
"Similar to intricate stage instructions in the works of Bertolt Brecht, Son's Drawing has a phrase "hanG on Wall," which, while allows further viewing of such a piece, is intended to estrange the audience and emotionally detach them from the action and the papa. By using this kind of alienation effect (Verfremdungseffekt in German), the audience is led to analyze and maybe even challenged to change the world outside the painting. This was the goal and driving force behind the inspector's son's entire creative career, a person desperate for ideas, creativity, and professionalism. And now onto the next piece in the gallery."
"OH GOD!" Sae cried out in despair.
[MAKOTO]
"That was magical. We got to all types of things on your bed. First we got out the lemons and placed them on my eyes. It burned so good! Then we got out the car batteries..."
And that was as Sae was willing to listen to as she tuned her sister out as she graphically described her and her boyfriend's sex life.
In about two weeks time, she would discover that she hadn't fully ignored Makoto's story and wanted to try all of that out too.
Which kinda came too late when she realised she was already buying the audiobook of the Master Swordsman.
[FUTABA]
There was an obscene amount of technological language and terms Sae didn't understand but at some point there was going to be something useful from this interrogation at any time now.
She will slip! She will spill all the answers she will need to-
"Oh, BTW, I had a threesome with your sister and Joker. It was awesome. It involved curry and ice-cream!"
And that's where Sae officially stopped caring about life.
[HARU]
"Oh and the Shadows...! The Shadows... they were nothing. My first fight to Mementos involved a small, innocent Pixie. Oh, such a sweet-smelling, kind-hearted spirit within the collective unconsciousness. Unfortunately, she had to die. So once I blew her friends with my Beretta GLX 160 Grenade Launcher into little, itty-bitty bits, I slowly walked up to the surviving Pixie, who had surely pissed her spandex, with my axe firmly in my hand. I first lifted her up, telling her everything she believed in would not save her and all she loved that I will kill personally. Then I slowly plucked off her wings. I have admit that I pleasantly enjoyed the screams she made as she futilely tried to escape with her life. However, I would never let prey leave my sight. So I crushed one of her legs before carefully slicing off the other, black blood spattering upon my clothes. It was going to be bother to wash those stains out, so I gouged out one of her eyes as compensation. Then I made her eat it as I repeatedly stabbed her in the uterus. She begged for mercy but at that point I forgot the meaning of mercy. So I..."
As Sae gaped in horror at the brutal descriptions of her murdering yet another Pixie, she promised after this interrogation that she would send her to a therapist.
Though, Sae may as well sign herself up because she was going to have nightmares of years after this.
"Oh! I also made the Pixie try to kill herself, but I wouldn't let her. After all the suffering must continue in order for her to pay for the amount of effort to get the bloodstains out of my outfit. Of course, it was only afterwards where I remember that my outfit would be perfectly clean the next time I came to Mementos... but I was having way too much fun."
[MORGANA]
...He didn't know how he did it.
He really didn't know how he did it.
He didn't know whenever or not it was discovered that the Leader of the Phantom Thieves was car, or that they interrogation said cat as if he were human, or the fact that Sae had essentially quit her job as soon as she saw on the table.
But somehow... somehow... the entire police stations burned down, taking with it various corrupt police officers and the SUI Director, but also all the evidence against the Phantom Thieves. Sae stated she didn't have any hand in the matter. However, Morgana didn't believe her considering she was standing near several empty gas cans.
It was then Morgana realised that Sae could understand him and she wasn't dressed as she usually was, a mask placed upon her face.
It was safe to say Morgana had a good day all things considered...
[AKECHI]
"...I'm surprised you're here Akechi." Sae admitted as she looked at the young detective.
"What can I say? I had a change of heart. Let's just leave it at that." Akechi replied. "Now, if you want every single detail, it may take a little longer than two hours."
"I have all the time in the world if the Next Detective Prince is part of the Phantom Thieves." Sae said as she crossed her arms.
"Well, I should stop delaying. You see, it all started... when I was born..."
And thus started the worst two days of Sae's life.
[AKIRA]
"Was all of that really necessary, Joker?" Makoto deadpanned.
"Yes. Yes it was." Akira replied simply as he wrapped his arm around his girlfriend's shoulder. It had been a two years since their days as Phantom Thieves had come to an end. Akira officially moved into Tokyo to attend college here and right now it was Golden Week, allowing the two to spend time together in his room (still in the attic in Leblanc) after being unable to meet up in a while.
"I mean, seriously, you reset time 9 different times to the start of the year, just so all of us could drive my sister insane!" Makoto called out. "And somehow, no one except one of us kept our memories of the year until you had to go back home. And I'm not even going to question how you did it in the first place."
"It was to stop everyone from going insane. You know, except for Sae." Akira defended himself. "Plus, it wasn't cheap. 1,000,000 yen per reset. Thanks Igor for ripping me off..."
"Can you at least tell why you did it? It can't be just for your personal amusement." Makoto sighed out.
"Oh, it mostly was for my personal but... she called you useless. And that's enough motivation for me." Akira answered. "Now let's be quiet. The commercial's almost over."
"Alright, alright. Ugh, I can't believe you made me lie about our sex life." Makoto sighed out.
"What can I say, I can't resist a good challenge." Akira replied with a devil-may-care smile.
Makoto could only sigh again as she snuggled closer, enjoying the peaceful days that filled her life now.
That is, until they saw Sae in a trenchcoat.
"...Sis, what are you doing here?" Makoto asked in a nervous tone.
"I know what you've been doing." Sae said in a low tone.
"...Excuse me?" Akira got out, hoping it wasn't what he was thinking.
"I know what you've been doing behind my back." Sae continued, causing the couple to sigh in relief. "And I want in."
"..."
"..."
"..."
"...What." Akira and Makoto said in flat tones.
Then Sae took off her trenchcoat to reveal... she was only wearing the trenchcoat.
And she brought toys.
"...What was the price for a reset again, Akira-kun?" Makoto asked while staring in abject horror.
"1 million yen." Akira answered simply, unable to look away. "I can afford a reset."
"Yes. That would be great Joker." Makoto squeaked out.
"..."
"..."
"...Right after this?"
"Right after this."
Save Game... End!
Whew! That's only slightly longer than the previous Challenge Accepted. Anyway, I can't believe I'm gonna admit this but... I can always do everyone else.
Oh yeah.
UknownHero signing out, my friends!