Day Dreams
I stare out my window and so many thought fill my mind. People tell me I'm just day dreaming. That I need to pay attention in school. But I know that, what I'm 'dreaming' about is more important. Who needs to know about war, and blood, when they can think about, unicorns and rainbows? Why are fractions more important than dwarfs? Can someone answer me that? If you can I'll tell you what I'm thinking now...
Mom and dad started to fight when I was ten. I guess that's when I started to day dream. I would sit at my window in my room and pretend it was how it used to be. When Dad would come home and kiss mom, and then he would read the newspaper and complain about how prices went up. And mom would laugh and cook supper and complain about the prices of things with dad. Then it would be dad's turn to laugh and I would laugh at them both. And then they would pretend to get mad at me and tickle me...
It's not like that anymore, dad doesn't say a word when he comes home, if he comes home... I asked mom where dad was and she said, "He's probable at that witch's house again." At the time I didn't understand what she was talking about... Now I know, he's with Cloud's mom...
Cloud's mom is really pretty, her husband died years ago when Cloud was just a little boy. She has such long blond hair, and big blue eyes... My mom has brown hair and brown eyes like me... Dad said once when he came home drunk, "That Amber is a FINE woman, and a good lover too!" I still remember mom's eyes... they became so sad. I could see the pain she felt, only I didn't understand it at the time. I didn't understand that dad was having an affair with Cloud's mom. I didn't know what an affair was.
I was so naive, back then. I wish that I still was.
I guess, my day dreaming grew with I found out that my mom was going to die.
I woke up one morning, it was my eleventh birthday. I was so happy. I ran downstairs, humming the birthday song. Then, I skid to a stop outside of our one bathroom. Hesitatingly I opened the door. I saw my mom undressed covered in her vomit. I blinked, unable to comprehend what was going on. My mom was vomiting? Why? I called for my dad, who cussed and came downstairs. He saw me and ran to the bathroom. A look of unbelief, followed by one of regret.
I still don't know how many hours we spent at the doctor's house, but when we came home it was obvious. My mom was going to die within a year...
Day dreams are always nice things. They let you escape the world around, you're problems, you're pain. I love day dreams. But people stare at you like you're some odd creature when you start to speak of other worlds, where pain isn't real and rainbows are more precious that gold.
Why can't people understand that I would rather day dream than anything else! Why must they tell me to get my head out of the clouds? If I could I'd go to another world! So, why are day dreams bad?
I have a dream, about over the mountain. I think that's where my mom's at. I can picture it all, there's never a rainy day, or a or mean people. Only nice people, like my mom, can get in. And, rabbits and kittens roam! And when it snows it's never cold! So it's the perfect place, for my mom, and I want to go there too.
I was shocked, when my dad said that he could come in my room the day mom died. I ignored him. All I wanted to do was go over the mountain to the land of happiness. I stood up and without telling anyone I started to walk to Nible Mountain.
I didn't notice the boys behind me. I really didn't. If I had I would have told them to go home! I didn't want them in the land of happiness with me and mom. I'm not selfish.. I just miss mom and I want to see her again.. Is there something wrong with that? Is it as bad as day dreams are?
I don't remember what happend next, just waking up and dad crying and holding me. And him telling me that I was never to play with Cloud again. I didn't really care, Cloud was weird. He scared me with his talk of SOLDER, and war. I don't like the thought of war, or blood. I'm glad dad told me to keep away from him. The other boy's aren't like him.
The other boys play tag and tease me about dreaming. I think that Cloud dreams too. Only about different things, he want's to be just like that general Sephiroth. I wish I could say I looked up to someone, that I dream about real things. I don't. I still dream about dwarfs and fairies. I often wish I had a hero. But I don't.
I made a certain boy promise me something. I wonder if he'll keep it. I treated him badly. I ignored and ridiculed him at times... I wish I hadn't. I met Cloud at the well, because he asked me to. It was fun to sneak away in the twilight, while dad was watching television. By the time I got there, it was dark and the stars shown. And Cloud was there, I think he's scared of me. I think he likes me.
Awhile back, I went away from home, just for a walk. I was dreaming while I was walking. I guess that's why I got lost. It was getting dark and the monsters where coming out and I was alone. I wouldn't have minded if someone had been with me. But as it was, I was alone, in the dark. Darkness scares me.
Suddenly a light shown on me and I shrieked. A voice asked me if I was okay. I looked up and saw the most welcome face. Cloud Strife. He saw and understood my predicament and he helped me home. Dad saw and he punched Cloud for getting near me.
I think that's when I fell in love with Cloud.
When I saw him there, I smiled and looked up to the stars. They seemed to smile back at me. I was still looking up as I made him promise that, he would help me if I was ever in trouble. He seemed hesitant to promise me, but he did. I remember now that trouble I got in for sneaking out that night. How dad glared at me and yelled. I think that he misses mom, that he's sorry for what he did. Now I understand what happened. What he did with Cloud's mom. I feel sorry for her.
I waited for years. He never came back. He wasn't going to keep his promise. Dad didn't understand what I was going through, I think he thought I still missed mom. I do, but not to the extreme that I did. When I was little before the pain that we would go though set in our family. I would watch on TV the martial artist who would compete. I wanted to do that.
Now dad remembered what I wanted to do, and I was enrolled. The man teaching me, felt that I showed great potential. He worked with me harder than all the other students.
The great General Sephiroth is in town! I had hoped that Cloud would come with them. But he didn't... I was surprised when he asked me to lead them up the mountain. I accepted, of course. It would have been fun to lead them. To lead Sephiroth! Cloud would have been jealous.
It started out fine, except that I wasn't allowed to go in and some man was watching over me to make sure. Out of nowhere, the silver haired man ran out of the place we where at and he looked.... different. His eyes were blazed over with a passion. One I would later find out, was for knowledge.
Days had passed and he was still in the Old Shinra Mansion. People whispered that he had went crazy. My dad refused to let me out of the house, I think he still sees mom in my and wants to make up for his mistake.
I was asleep one night, dreaming about seeing mom in the world I had made up long ago, when the smell of smoke filtered into my room. I woke up to my father shaking me awake as he told me to go with him to the mountain, to escape the fire. Taking none of our possessions, we ran.
I saw the man spear pregnant women, and small children. The sight that haunts me the most is the one of a little girl, who was oblivious to the screams of the others. She had a stuffed animal in her arms, singing softly to it. Then the silver haired monster stabbed the girl though that teddy bear, into her heart.
After I and dad saw that, we started to run faster. I don't know how we lived... I only know that we did. After hours, my father told me, to go hide. Too scared was I not to. I hid.
It was late that night or early that morning, I still don't know which when I realized that my dad wasn't going to come get me. I ran out, and saw him dead on the ground. A bloody sword next to him. With an inhuman strength, I picked up the sword and ran in to kill the beast!
My memories stop here, I don't know what happened after, I can only guess that Sephiroth, sliced me and I somehow lived.
Because, rainbows are rare, and dwarfs are not real. And unicorns are only horses with horns. Because there is no such thing as an everlasting love. And war and blood is the only that is real. I'll stop Day Dreaming...
Author's Notes: First and foremost, I wrote this for my friend, Lesley! There, I told everyone!! ^_^ I know, I know, I was mean to Tifa... *grins* It seems latly that I'm ALWAYS mean to my character's doesn't it? Ah well...
Hey guys, will you PLEASE review?? Pretty please with *thinks* materia on top!! ^_^