Ch 1: Call Me Agent Nep Nep...Nep

A girl in a black suit and sunglasses walked into Neptune's home. Neptune was putting clothes into her dryer. The girl sees Neptune and asked her, "Are you Ms Neptune?" She asked. Neptune looked at the girl.

"Yeah." She replied.

"Are you doing Laundry?" The girl asked.

"Yeah." Neptune repeated and a blow dart gets shot into her neck. Neptune gasped and fell down. The girl in question takes Neptune into her garage. She was sitting in a chair, head down on the table. The girl sat across from her. Neptune woke up and felt groggy. She groans.

"Good evening Ms Neptune." The girl greeted.

"Where the heck am I?" Neptune asked and felt dizzy.

"This is just our way to inform you that you have been selected to be the next NEPTUNIA!...agent." The girl told Neptune.

"This is my garage." Neptune said and looked around her huge garage.

"It is. You were too much to handle on my back...and into my mini van. And to be perfectly honest with you? It's hot as shit in there! The damn AC is rubbish!"

"Is this a kidnapping?" Neptune asked.

"Silence! Over the course in the next several months, you should go on top secret missions. Double Nep...NEEEP!"

"What kind of missions?"

"Shhhh! Please...meet my assistant...Kie!" The girl looked to her left and girl with white stood their. Neptune stares at her.

"It's Kei...IF" Said Kei.

"Koi!" IF said.

"No no no...Kei." Kei kept correcting IF.

"Kee!"

"K-E-I...she gets it wrong every time." Kei said looking at Neptune and sighed.

"I'm gonna send you back to the shelter." IF told Kei.

"It's just three letters!" Kei groaned. "Kei."

"Kie!"

"No it's Kei!"

"Keily. (Burp) The kangaroo ate the baby." IF looked at Neptune.

"Tell her about your back hair." Kei growled. IF pulled out her stick and blows a blow dart into Kei and she falls down.

"Just tell me. What's the point in all this?" Neptune asked and hiccuped.

"Ms Neptune..." IF removed her sunglasses and her eyes were cross eyed. Neptune made a funny face looking at IF in the eyes. "I'm not quite sure what it is you don't understand. You have been selected to be a Neptunia agent. This is a once in a lifetime opportunity. Now? May I continue?"

"Alright." Neptune said and IF puts her glasses back on. "So uh...why would I do this?"

"I believe the question you should be asking is, why wouldn't you do this?"

"Oh."

"You will go on a series of missions...in order to save Princess Heart." IF held up a paper with the picture of dogoo. It was pink and it had a cute red bow on its head. It also said a $500 reward for finding the missing dogoo.

"Is that it?" Neptune asked.

"Do you have any idea what I could do with $500 dollars!? I could buy a new hamster. Or a fish." IF said and then looks at the fallen Kei. "Keddy?...Kiem?...She's sleeping."

"You know this sounds fun and all but I don't think I'm interested." Neptune said.

"Double Nep...Neep...did I mention we would be providing you with a sexy car for your missions?"

"I already have a car."

"Oh? Do you?" IF holds up a detonator and pushes the button. A car explodes inside the huge garage.

"Yeah...that was mine." Neptune said.

"Now...do you accept or do you decline?" IF asked.

"Ah why the hell not." Neptune said and accepted the offer.

"Bravo Double Nep...Nep...now...meet your brand new car!" IF said and snaps her fingers and a car crashes into the garage. It was purple and had a white design on it. Neptune was in awe at the car and looks at it.

"Do not touch her!" IF said and Neptune was rubbing her hands on the hood and she even licked the car. She stops and looks at IF. "You must earn her privilege."

"Yo. Tell me some specs."

"This car has glass windows and is equipped with a steering wheel and a rear view mirror." IF said.

"It's a 6 speed?" Neptune looked into the car.

"This car drives forward...and reverse."

"Are these 22's!?" Neptune shouted in awe at the tires.

"Those tires are completely made of rubber." IF said.

"Does it have any special weapons?" Neptune asked.

"No." IF replied bluntly.

"Does it go invincible and stuff like that?"

"Hahahaha..." IF laughed at the question.

"Ok? So what's next? What do I got to do?"

"Double Nep Nep...before you can become a Neptunia Agent? One must train...as a Neptunia Agent." IF replied.

"When am I doing that?"

"Sooner than you think but faster than you are."

"When's that?"

"I. Don't. Know!" IF answered.

To Be Continued