Petunia'
Petunia's Tears
It's the happiest day of my life. So why
do I feel so empty?
As a child, I had always hoped for more than
this. I wanted to be swept away into a world of fairy tales and
marry a prince. I wanted to ride a unicorn and fly on a dragon. I
wanted to own my own business or an island in the South Pacific.
Instead I got Vernon Dursley.
I should be happy, like any young bride about
to marry into a wealthy family. Vernon has his own firm, I was
told. He's a very nice man. You'll be very happy with
him. You were destined to be together.
Only I had thought I was destined for more than
this.
Is this why I am crying on my Wedding Day?
My destiny was stolen from me, and handed to my
sister on a platter. She got the fantastical life I should have
had. Why her? Why her and not me? I always pretended to her and
myself that I didn't care, and that her magic was
disgusting, but deep down I longed for it, and I think I still
do.
I will have to settle down and forget about it,
and live a pointless life doing pointless things. A woman with
big ideals stuck in a terraced house, on a street of terraced
houses, in a town of terraced houses, in a world of people just
like me. Because who ever achieves their dreams? I don't. I
haven't. I won't. Lily got my dreams.
And I try not to be jealous but I just
can't help it. Every time I think of her my heart feels like
it's about to burst, and I clench my fists and I feel like I
am about to be sick.
Is this all my life holds for me? To wake up
every morning to see Vernon, to stay home all day and lead a life
so pointless that when I die I will know that I have achieved
absolutely nothing? And I know I should be happy, and these tears
rolling down my face should be of happiness, and not out of
sadness or frustration.
So I didn't invite her to my wedding. And
I don't know where she is now, but I know that she is not
sitting downstairs with my mother and my aunt and a whole host of
people who don't understand me. My mother was furious with
me for not inviting Lily; she is proud of her daughter, proud of
what she has become. Why can't my mother be proud of me? I
went through education, I've had a simple yet poorly paid
job, I've got engaged and I'm about to be married.
Somehow that isn't enough for me. I have an insane desire to
just go outside and run until it hurts, and run so fast I think
I'm going to fall head over heels. I want to start over.
In a better world I wouldn't have a witch
for a sister, I wouldn't have a sister at all. She stole
something irreplaceable from me, and the fact that she
didn't do it on purpose only makes it worse. I wish
she could pass some of that magic onto me. Something special,
something that sets me apart. I don't want to be like
everyone else, I want to be singular, and unusual.
But I'm just plain old Petunia Evans, soon
to be Petunia Dursley. And I'm still waiting for some
life-changing miracle to lift me from this dreary existence.
It's the happiest day of my life, and I
greet it with tears in my eyes. At my wedding, I will raise a
glass to the future, and drown the reality of my failure with
sweet champagne, and wonder what happened to my little sister.
I'm not sure who to do next, so any
suggestions on who to do and why they are crying will be greatly
appreciated. Petunia is a rather strange person to start with,
but I think she has a pretty good reason to cry ^_^. Please
review anyway, and keep checking back for the next part!
