Hey, did you miss me? looks at audience who are quite ready to throw fruit ehehe.. Well I won't bore you with any of my lame excuses because I know you don't care anyway. Okay, so I decided to write a few chaptered fluff story just to prove I can actually finish a story. Basically it's a story where I decided to work on humor and er... lemon.. scenes. ehehe.. So I'm warning you now there will be lemon scenes coming up and if you don't like that sort of thing I suggest you stay away or well skip that chapter; I'll warn you. Yeah...

So this story sort of has one of those super typical plots. Again, I'm working on humor here so it's a learning tool and I really didn't want a lot of huge twists and turns (granted there will be a few, I wouldn't leave you without a couple plot twists and cliffies would I? It wouldn't be in my character ;p) Okay so.. remember to review and enjoy my typical Hermione/Draco story!

You may now throw the fruit ducks and runs

Chapter One: Needing Help

Her breathing was shallow and her eyes wide, as he walked down the corridor towards her. He was cracking jokes, making his friends laugh hysterically and causing the couple girls around him to swoon appreciatively. His chestnut hair framed his face in such a way that it accented the almond-shaped hazel eyes beneath it. Fin Dustyn, Ravenclaw's starring chaser, had been the object of her affections for quite sometime now. At least five months, a huge span for a seventeen year old girl.

As much as she hated to admit it, Hermione was not unlike Parvati and Lavender, the two giggling, boy-juggling girls she had shared a room with over the past six years. She still had crushes and she still wished to be noticed by the opposite sex. Granted, she didn't take it to such extremes as those two had in previous years but still…

He was drawing nearer, this was her chance. Hermione mustered up all the courage she possessed and mumbled a small, 'H-hey, Fin.' He continued to chat to the auburn haired girl on his left, obviously deaf to the Gryffindor's small unfruitful attempt.

She averted her eyes to the ground as he walked past her, hoping he didn't see the blush that was creeping up her cheeks. Hermione turned around and allowed herself one last sigh as he rounded a corner. Continuing down the corridor towards the Head dorms, she mentally smacked herself.

'Why can't I just say hello?' She wondered aloud, 'It's not like I haven't spoken to guys before this! My two best friends are guys; I should be able to talk to him with ease!'

Hermione entered the common room, still muttering to herself. It was then that she noticed the Head Boy, sitting on the floor staring at his homework through his blond fringe.

'You do know it won't simply start on its own right? You actually have to pick up your quill.' She said.

'Yes, I was fully aware, thank you for that.' He snapped, not looking up from his work.

Hermione shrugged. 'Glad to be of service.'

When Dumbledore had made the two Heads at the beginning of the year, they both had thought he had finally lost it. How in world could Draco Malfoy and Hermione Granger, enemies since their very first year, work together as Heads? It was an impossible feat; they'd be at each others' throats day and night! Plus they had to share a common room? The one place they both had escaped each other before had to be shared as well?

Dumbledore's answer to all this was very simple. Learn to respect one another and set an example for the rest of the students. Needless to say, Hermione and Draco played the truce card. They still hated one another, but each was slowly beginning to tolerate the other - with a few minor arguments here and there.

Hermione threw her books on the ground and removed the bulky sweater from her torso. She flopped on the sofa just behind him and un-tucked her long, baggy blouse from the confines of her knee length kilts' waistband. Just as she made herself comfortable after a long third week back from summer holidays, Malfoy turned around and stared at her.

'What?' she asked.

Malfoy shook his head, a smirk present on his face. 'Nothing, just wondering when you were going to – but it doesn't matter you never will.'

'I'll never what, Malfoy?'

'Never mind.'

Hermione glared. 'Well clearly you wanted to say something so you might as well say it now that you've started.'

'I shouldn't have said anything, it doesn't matter.' He turned back around, his face lighted with glee. He loved to get her going like this over something so trivial.

'No you probably shouldn't have, but you have, so spill!'

Malfoy turned back to face her. 'I was simply wondering if you had any clothes that fit, and if you were ever going to get any. But then I realized, you probably don't and you never will unless you get some serious help.'

Hermione, slightly offended, looked down at her ensemble. True, her kilt could do with a bit of a shortening charm. Her shirt was a tad long and her sweater a bit big but he did not have any right to insult her about it!

'Excuse me? Look at what you're wearing you pompous ferret! Those pants that - that -'

'Fit?' Malfoy offered.

Hermione's expression exactly resembled Professor McGonagall's after Neville turned his teapot into a litter of kittens instead of a pair of mittens. 'Well, what about your shirt! Its way too tight!'

'Granger, this vintage shirt defines my pectorals and abs. I have worked way too hard on them to let them go unnoticed by the female community.' Malfoy replied feigning hurt.

She rolled her eyes. 'Whatever, Malfoy. My style is comfortable and that's the way I intend to keep it.' Hermione repacked her school bag and turned to the column of stairs that led to her room.

When she reached the red and golden room, she tossed her book bag aside and threw herself on her queen size four poster. She glared at the ceiling as she thought of her recent argument with Malfoy. What a jerk! The nerve of him insulting my style, I ought to hex him into next week!

She then flipped over to lie on her stomach. Perhaps he did have a point though. I have nothing to be ashamed of. My stomach is flat from that workout regime Ginny and I did over the summer and my breasts aren't tiny nor are they enormous.

She rose from her bed and walked over to the mirror. My hair could do with some care, and less frizz. I guess I could try out some… make-up. She shuddered once again.

'I can't do this all alone though! I need some help, someone with style…' Hermione thought about her disastrous encounter with Fin earlier and new resolve took place. 'I need someone who's ruthless, downright evil and won't let me quit until I'm noticed… I need...'

'Granger, I was just pondering over why you don't wear fitted clothing.' Malfoy said when she re-entered the room later that evening.

Hermione smirked. 'Oh? Why's that, Malfoy?' She had changed into a large maroon sweater and baggy jeans and was making her way over to the bathroom.

'Perhaps you don't have anything to show?'

'Oh, is that right?'

'Well what other reason is there for you keep your bodice locked up and hidden for no male to drool over?' Malfoy replied, rolling up his star chart. 'Unless… you don't want attention from guys… Granger! You aren't!'

Hermione's face flushed. 'Of course I'm not! Not that it would be a bad thing! You should be open to everyone's sexual preference, even if it's not the same as your own. I read one of St Mungo's latest journals on -'

'I was joking. I know you aren't.' Malfoy grinned cutting her rant short, he was on a roll. 'Although that would explain why you're two best friends are guys and you haven't jumped either of them.'

'MALFOY!'

He laughed at her blanched face and began to walk to the spiral stairs.

'Wait, Malfoy!' He turned around to see her standing with her hand tightening on the sofa and a bit lip. Malfoy was confused, one moment she'd been furious at him and the next she looked… nervous? Granger was very strange. 'I need to ask you a favor.'

Now he was a little suspicious. He walked closer to her and narrowed his eyes at her, bringing his 6'1" stature down to her 5'6". 'What sort of favor?'

'I…' Hermione began to fall over her words. This wasn't a good idea. She was about to ask her enemy of six years to help her with a makeover. Why did she ever have the inclination this was a good idea?!

'Yes?'

'Well… I…'

'Oh, just spit it out Gr-'

'Ineedyoutohelpmewithamakeover.' She sputtered quickly.

Malfoy rolled his eyes and folded his arms across his chest. 'Try that again, but slower.'

Hermione inhaled deeply and then on the exhale she spoke. 'I need you to help me with a makeover.'

Malfoy's jaw dropped. 'You're kidding right? Please tell me this is my brain playing tricks on me. You did not just ask me to make you over?'

Hermione nodded in desperation. 'I need help, you said it yourself! I'll even pay you!'

'Yes, but… I didn't mean me!' Malfoy declared. Everything was going just fine until this moment. How am I supposed to live with her now? 'No, I refuse. I won't help you.'

'Malfoy, I never thought I'd stoop as low as begging but, please, you have to help me! I need to get noticed! All my life I've simply been a shadow that follows Harry and Ron around. Guys don't notice me, all they see is the brainy girl who's too wrapped up in her studies to go on dates and have a life! I want that to change! I've never even…' Hermione stopped herself. That was going too far. She wasn't going to reveal that to Malfoy of all people.

'Never even…?'

'Forget it, don't help me, I'll just find somebody else.' Hermione turned to walk away but he suddenly got an idea. 'I just thought you'd jump at the chance to control the one person you could never control under normal circumstances but never mind. Maybe I'll go find Lavender or someone.'

Malfoy grabbed her wrist before she could walk any further towards the portrait hole. 'That girl has no sense of style. Listen, I'll help you, but it's going to take a while and you'll have to work hard. No shortcuts, no talking back, you do as I say. Is that clear, Miss Granger?'

Hermione smirked. 'Perfectly.'

heehee. told you it was typical!