note: uploading this fro my ao3. this is a prequel to "what is simple and true". enjoy!
Pearls are made to please and to serve.
They are blank databanks, mass produced to serve as technicians, their ability to retain information and dexterous, perfectionist ways making them excellent at fixing and building machinery. They do as exactly as they are told, never disobeying or asking questions. The perfect workforce.
Pearls are not made to be warriors, or to even be on the battlefield, their inability to make quick decisions on the spot or to think and act for themselves making them useless as fighters. Instead they are kept grouped together with similar gems, designing weapons, ships and new technology.
The rare, more independent pearls are made personal assistants, but few make it past being technicians, and none make it past being a personal assistant.
Pearls are made to please and to serve, to be obedient and unquestioning, to be perfect and proper.
Pearl #2035 is none of these things.
When her gem is first harvested, the defect is unnoticeable. She's one of the last naturally-forming pearls to be harvested from the artificial salt water reservoir. Her gem is shiny, smooth and rounded, like any other pearl. The defect isn't that obvious when she forms her first projection. Her first form looks awkward, lanky and clumsy, unlike that of the other pearls, but it isn't anything too concerning. Some gems take longer perfecting their form than others.
But when she begins her training, the defect is painfully obvious. Her internal, mental, unfixable defect. A defect like hers isn't unheard of, but it's rare, especially in pearls. Numbers are too desperately low to crush her, and Blue Topaz, the gem in charge of dealing with defects, speculates she may be one of the more independent pearls that could be a personal assistant once they get her defects under control.
Pearl #2035 can't understand what they mean when they tell her she's defective. To her, it's only normal to avoid making eye contact when she talks, to speak even when no one asked her too. She doesn't understand why they scold her for being too loud or asking too many questions. She wants to learn more about gem history and her heritage, what's wrong with just asking? She can't understand why her mentors scold her when she won't stop fidgeting in her seat, or why they sharply and firmly tell her to stop talking when she gives answers they deem 'too long'. It doesn't make any sense to her. She's a pearl, she's supposed to retain information. What's the point in remembering it all if no one wants to hear her when she talks about it?
But she soons learns that no one wants to hear what she's learned about gem history or weapons. The threats of termination are enough to scare her into keeping her voice soft and quiet and her head down. She waits until her teachers' backs are turned before she starts shaking her leg or playing with her hands, scared of being caught and punished again. She gives the simple one word answers they ask for and forces herself to look them in the eye. The other gems make her painfully aware of her defect. Gems come and go, none of them staying in training as long as her, and each batch of young gems is as bad as the last. No matter how hard she tries to act 'normal', they always notice she's defective and torment her for it.
She tries to focus on mastering her gem abilities and working with coding and machinery to ignore them. Eventually she's called back to Blue Topaz's office. She says Pearl #2035 has been making great progress and that she's ready to be sent off-planet for her first real job as a technician, and she's relieved that she's finally going somewhere new.
Her relief is short-lived, however. She starts to feel more and more flustered as she's pushed on to the ship taking her to her new post, feeling anxious as she sees how crowded it is. She sits down between two other gems, sitting still and silent. The noise around her and the sheer amount of gems is enough to make her leg start shaking again. She squeezes her eyes shut, her mouth going dry as she tries to discreetly rock herself to calm down.
"Hey, defect!" a supervisor sitting across from her yells, "Calm down and sit still. Wouldn't want you to infect the rest of us."
The gems around her snigger and she hangs her head in shame, blushing. Part of her wants to explain her defect isn't contagious, but she remembers what happened the last time she did that and it's enough to keep her quiet for the rest of the trip. She stares at the ground, wishing she were somewhere else, back on Homeworld, back in training, even Blue Topaz's office. Anywhere but this loud, overcrowded ship.
The planet isn't much better. It's dark and cold, the sky blocked out by light pollution. She spends most of her time in an old warehouse, just as noisy and crowded as the ship. She isn't used to running around, having orders barked at her. The machines she has to fix and work on are older and different from the more modern test ones she practised on in training. Her superiors are no better either, impatiently pushing her around, only referring to her as 'defect'. She's not Pearl #2035, or even just Pearl, she's just 'defect'.
It starts to wear on her, and all it takes is one of her superiors reprimanding her for using the wrong screws on a display unit to make her break down. Everything starts to go blurry as her eyes fill with tears. She drops to the floor and curls up in a ball, head between her knees. She lays there sobbing quietly, ignoring the muffled voice of her superior ordering her to stand up, until she feels something sharp pierce her side and she's forced back into her gem.
When Pearl reforms, she's lying in a medical bay. She isn't sure how long she's been gone or where she is. There's a gem standing near her, and once she's settled into her new form, they put their hand on her shoulder and begin silently steering her down endless hallways. She begins to recognise where she is once they turn what must be the fiftieth corner and she sees the door to Blue Topaz's office at the end of the hall.
She starts to slow down as her legs buckle beneath her in fear, but the other gem just sighs and pushes her forward, through the office door.
Blue Topaz stares up at her with her usual blank expression, gesturing towards the chair across from her, inviting her to sit down. There's another blue gem standing beside Blue Topaz, eying Pearl curiously. She quickly sits down and bows her head, staring at the tiled floor as the door shuts behind her.
"Pearl #2035," Blue Topaz says in a tired voice, tapping at the screen on her desk. "I'm sure you know why you're here. Again. Care to explain for yourself?"
Pearl swallows, not shifting her gaze from the floor, "I… I failed to correctly carry out one of my assigned tasks."
"Correct, and what did you do when you were reprimanded for your failure?"
"I broke down."
"Look at me," Blue Topaz says, leaning across the desk and looking Pearl right in the eyes, a strained smile on her face, "Remind me, what is a pearl's purpose?"
"To please and to serve."
"Good, and tell me, is it becoming of a pearl to lay on the floor, crying, when she is chastised for failing to do her job?"
"No," Pearl says in quiet voice, staring at the wall behind her.
"And what do we do to gems who continue to act inappropriately?" Blue Topaz's smile grows as her eyes narrow.
"They are… t-terminated," Pearl whispers, feeling herself start to shake. They're going to kill her. They're going to crush her useless, defective gem to dust. She knows it will be painless, she'll be forced back into her gem again, then she'll be smashed, but it terrifies her. She doesn't want to die. Part of her wants to break down again, part of her wants to stand up and make a run for it, but she wills herself to sit still as Blue Topaz begins to speak again.
"Yes, they are. In most cases, you would be terminated. That kind of behaviour is unacceptable. However, Larimar here has offered to make you her assistant," she gestures towards the gem standing next to her, "You will serve her and she will try to fix you to the best of her ability. I sincerely hope you understand this is the last time I want to see you here."
Pearl nods.
"Very well then. Larimar will take you to your new post."
Larimar is an important gem, part of the council in control of the colonization of other planets. She works in the head offices in Homeworld's capital city, a place Pearl has only heard about and seen pictures of. It's much bigger and more populated than her lessons had led her to believe, but she doesn't have to worry about it too much. She spends most of her time inside at Larimar's side, and the offices are much quieter and emptier than the streets.
She still likes to look out at the city in between running errands, pressing herself against the windows and staring out at the busy streets and tall buildings. It amazes her to see so many different gems just walking around, no set purpose, just free to walk around and do as they please. She's so used to being shoved into overcrowded rooms filled with similar gems, stuck doing the same job and forbidden from leaving without permission. She still doesn't have much freedom even now, but just being able to see other gems like that makes her feel less confined.
She does her best to try and impress Larimar. She wants her to be proud of her like the other gems on the council are proud of their assistants. Pearl tries to act as normal as she can, but not too normal, because Larimar did say she picked Pearl as an assistant because she wanted a quirky gem with a bit more personality.
Larimar seems to find her 'quirkiness' endearing at first, gently correcting her when she talks too much or her voice is too loud, only tutting when she sees her fidget. But eventually she starts to get impatient, her gentle corrections and tuts turning to sharp scolds and rough grabs. Pearl tries to make up for it by working extra hard, taking on tasks she wasn't even assigned, but she can feel Larimar's patience is wearing thin, and it terrifies her. She doesn't show Pearl off like a prized pet like the other gems do with their assistants. She keeps her hidden away in her office, making her stand a few feet behind her if they ever have to leave. She's ashamed of her, and Pearl doesn't blame her. It's only a matter of time before she's sent back to Blue Topaz and terminated.
One day Larimar sits her down with a solemn look on her face, and Pearl is almost certain this is it. This is the day she'll tell her she can't work for her any more. Then she'll be on her way to get crushed. But before she can start panicking, Larimar brings up a screen in front of her.
"Alright, Pearl. I'm giving you one last chance to prove yourself to me tonight," Larimar says, running her hands through her hair, "I'm hosting a meeting to discuss setting up kindergartens on the planets discovered in Crystal System 14. This is an extremely important meeting. Yellow Diamond herself is going to be there so you must be on your best behaviour."
Pearl shivers in her seat. She's met a lot of important gems while working with Larimar, but she hadn't even seen a Diamond.
"This is the last chance I'm giving you before I send you back to Blue Topaz. Keep your mouth shut, and I don't want to see any of that leg shaking you do. You are to be proper and perfect, like the Pearl you were made to be."
Pearl nods and sits up straight as Larimar begins explaining what she'll have to do, handing her three memory sticks and giving her a rundown of the meeting. As they leave to set up the meeting room, Pearl tries to practice keeping calm and staying still. It can't be that hard to act normal, especially when her life depends on it.
She stands beside Larimar when she sits down at the top of the table, back straight and hands behind her back, keeping her head bowed as gems begin to file into the room. She doesn't realise how many gems are there until she looks up and sees that every seat at the long table has been filled. It makes her nervous, even though none are looking at her, except for one. She's one of the bigger gems, with massive pink hair and these gorgeous brown eyes that stare at Pearl peculiarly. When she sees Pearl staring back she flashes her a small, kind smile, and Pearl blushes and looks away.
She continues staring at the floor, feeling flustered, discreetly playing with her fingers behind her back, focusing so much on trying to stay still and looking composed that she doesn't notice when Larimar asks her to hand her one of the memory sticks. She jumps and nearly shrieks when she grabs her arm and hisses at her to give her the memory stick, clumsily fumbling through her pockets to get it for her.
Her face heats up as she notices that everyone is staring at her, some shaking their heads in disapproval.
"Is that the defective one you've been looking after?" a gem asks, raising an eyebrow as she looks Pearl up and down.
Larimar sighs and nods as she plugs the stick in the display unit, "Yes, she's a bit… ditzy… Anyways, as I was saying, we could get more gems to the planets in the Hydra Supercluster if we use ship model #786, however that model isn't appropriate for reaching the planets with organic life in the cluster near by..."
Pearl focuses on Larimar's screen to try and ignore the stares. From what she can see they're trying to figure the right model of ship to use to get the most gems to those organic planets, but they aren't sure which one is the easiest and cheapest to make. She remembers learning about all the different models of ships when she was much younger, and it was always something that interested her. She'd even worked on a lot of ships on the last planet she worked on.
She frowns in concentration as she scans her mind for something, anything, she can say that might help to make up for her slip up.
"Model #958!" she says suddenly, a small grin on her face, "It can't fit as many gems as most models, but it's easy enough to build and it can withstand the conditions of the cluster the planets are located in! Even though you wouldn't be able to send as many gems in one ship, their simple structure means many could be built, mass produced, even, and sent to make up for that! And…"
She trails off when she notices the gems staring at her in shock. Larimar looks furious and she quickly bows her head, letting out a quiet, "Sorry…"
"She's right," a gem says, breaking the silence. Pearl looks up and sees it's the pink-haired gem that smiled at her. "We have the numbers to build enough ships in that model, building would hopefully be finished before the end of this century… And by that time enough gems will have been produced to send off and start setting up the kindergartens."
The gem looks at her and gives her another comforting smile. She nods slightly in response and looks down again, trying to pretend the whole room isn't still staring at her. She keeps her head down for the rest of the meeting, focusing more on calming herself rather than what is being said.
She keeps her head down until the last gem has left the room and it's just her and Larimar. She isn't sure how she's going to react, but she can just hope she isn't too angry.
"Pearl," Larimar sighs as she stands, staring at her with a frown, "How old are you?"
The question throws her off, "Um… I was-"
"Because you'd think you were only harvested yesterday with how ridiculous you just acted," Larimar spits, grabbing her by the shoulders. "Zoning out, rocking, speaking out of turn?! Is that how any gem is supposed to act?!"
Pearl stares at her with wide eyes. She hadn't even realised she'd been rocking herself. "I-I'm sorry. I didn't mean to-"
"You made a complete fool of me! Thinking your misinformed opinion matters... There's a reason defects like you don't make it on to councils! You should be ashamed. I knew you were defective but I had no idea you were this bad."
Pearl whimpers as she's shoved back onto the table.
"I don't know what I was thinking taking on such a useless, broken gem!" Larimar lets out a frustrated groan, burying her face in her hands and turning her back on Pearl, "You'll stay in this room until someone comes back to get you, understand?! I'm not going to baby a defect like you anymore!"
Pearl watches as she storms out of the room, not daring to move until the door closes behind her. She slowly slides to the floor, curling up and starting to cry. She's going to die. She completely ruined her last chance and now she's going to die. She wonders if they'll crush her while she's still conscious just to punish her for being so bad, and she wonders if she deserves it.
She isn't sure how long she's been lying there crying when she hears the door open. She tenses up, covering her mouth with her hands to try and quieten herself, assuming whoever it was is here to take her away to be crushed. But she isn't grabbed and dragged to her feet, instead a gentle hand rests on her shoulder and she hears a soft voice shushing her.
She slowly uncurls herself and looks up, seeing the pink-haired gem from earlier kneeling beside her, patting her back.
"Are you alright?" she asks, offering Pearl her hand.
Pearl sniffs and wipes her eyes with the back of her hand, nodding. She cautiously takes the gem's outstretched hand and lets her pull her to her feet and sit her down in a nearby seat.
"It's Pearl, isn't it?" she asks, still kneeling in front of her, stroking her arms comfortingly. Pearl just nods, not trusting herself to speak. She still feels a lump in her throat, and tears still continue to roll down her cheeks.
"Nice to meet you, Pearl! I'm Rose Quartz, but you may call me Rose if you want."
Pearl doesn't say anything. Rose's kindness is enough to set her off sobbing again. She hides her face in her hands and weeps, scared that Rose will start to get impatient and scold her, but she doesn't. She stays there holding her until she's stopped crying, wiping her eyes with her soft hands when she's finished.
"A-Are they going t-to kill me?" Pearl asks, clutching at Rose's hands desperately.
Rose gives her a confused look, "Why would they do that?"
"This was m-my last chance! Now they're going to… to terminate me!"
"No they won't…"
Pearl shakes her head, "Yes they will. I-I disrupted the meeting. I deserve it."
Rose looks at her and frowns. "No you don't... Pearl… can you stay here for a while, while I go and talk to someone?"
Pearl nods.
"Blue Topaz is the one looking after you, correct?"
"Yes."
Rose stands up, patting Pearl's head gently, "Right. You stay here, until someone comes to get you. I'll have a talk with Blue Topaz."
"Okay, thank you," Pearl says, not bothering to argue that no amount of talking will change her mind, watching as she quickly leaves the room. Once she's gone, Pearl brings her knees up to her chest and rests her head on them. She doubts this Rose Quartz can change anyone's mind, but she's grateful that she was so nice to her. She still can't understand why she was so kind to her, but she wishes she was still here.
Even though she knows it's unlikely Rose can save her from being terminated, that doesn't stop her from sitting there, praying she can, as she waits for someone to come and take her away.
She isn't sure how long it is before an escort arrives. There's no clock in the meeting room and she was too scared to turn anything on. She's brought down to an office on the first floor and sat outside, then she's left alone again.
She can hear Blue Topaz's harsh voice through the wall and it makes her heart race when she realises how serious it must be if she traveled out here just for Pearl. She hears Larimar's voice next and then another voice- Rose Quartz's voice. She looks around to see if anyone is watching, and when she's certain she's alone, she presses herself up against the wall so she can hear them better.
"That gem needs crushing, not nurturing!" she hears Larimar snap.
"We have given her more chances than we give most defects. Most don't even make it past training," Blue Topaz says, "It isn't fair to give her yet another chance after all these slip ups-"
"But I see so much potential in her!" Rose interrupts, "Can't you just give her one more chance? Maybe if we take a different approach to dealing with defective gems we might be able to help them. Look at it like an experiment."
She listens as the gems argue back and forth, heart racing, until she hears footsteps approaching the door and she quickly settles back into her seat.
"You may come in," Rose says, peeking her head around the door.
Pearl stands to her feet and steps in timidly with her head bowed, not looking up at any of the gems.
"I assume you know exactly why you're here," Blue Topaz says with an exhausted sigh, "You've once again displayed behaviour unbecoming of a gem."
Pearl doesn't reply.
"You really should be terminated, but Rose Quartz here has somehow taken pity on you. You're incredibly lucky, I hope you're aware of that."
She hears Larimar sigh.
"Pearl, look up at me," Blue Topaz snaps, "Listen to me carefully when I say this; this is your last chance. Rose Quartz has offered to make you her new assistant and to attempt to fix this... awful defect of yours. If you fail to follow her orders, you will be terminated, mark my words. Do you understand?"
"I understand," Pearl says meekly.
"Then my work here is done," says Blue Topaz, standing to her feet, "Rose Quartz will go through what she expects of you. Larimar and I will be off, if there's nothing else you want to ask."
Her and Rose say nothing.
Blue Topaz nods at them, opening the door and walking out briskly, Larimar following closely behind, glaring at Pearl before she leaves.
Once the door closes, Pearl lets out a small sigh of relief. "Thank you," she whispers, turning towards Rose with a tiny smile.
"Don't worry about it. I told you you wouldn't be killed!"
"But… why?"
Rose pats Pearl's shoulder and laughs, "Why what? Save you? Because I don't think any gem deserves to be crushed, 'defective' or not. I also find you to be very interesting," Rose pauses and stares at her with a serious expression, "You don't mind working for me, do you?"
"Oh, no! Of course not! I'm so grateful that you're doing this, I-I don't deserve this at all!"
"Yes you do, Pearl," Rose smiles at her, "My Pearl... Shall I show you where we'll be working?"
Pearl nods and follows behind Rose as she leaves the office and takes her back upstairs. As she walks Rose gently takes her by the arm and pulls her forward a bit, so they're walking beside each other. It makes Pearl feel giddy inside. She almost can't believe it's all actually happening, but she decides not to dwell on it too much. She just hopes Rose doesn't get tired of her like Larimar did.