Pairings: Setup for Mai x TKB, but not quite there yet. This fic is being submitted as an entry in the YGO Fanfiction contest in the Forums. Stop by and say hello!
Premise: What if Mai's soul wasn't saved during the Battle City Finals?
Summary: The eternal hourglass will again and again be turned and you with it, dust of the dust! Would you throw yourself down and gnash your teeth and curse that demon? Or would you answer, 'Never have I heard anything more divine'? -Nietzsche
Continuity: As always, a mixture. Japanese characters and names, English setting, for reasons listed below. Based in some overarching aspects of canon.
Notes: The quotes that start off this fic (in italics) are from Episode 138 of the English Dub. I omitted some lines to suit my purposes, but the majority of the conversation is intact and still in the very same context as they were in the show.
I specifically use "Shadow Game" rather than "Penalty Game" in this fic, because of the implication that Shadow Games do not kill those involved in them. If losing the Shadow Games killed the people at risk, this story wouldn't be possible (so would a lot of other things in the English series, but we don't have to talk about that just now).
This story turned into some big huge plot in my head, so it didn't get quite as far as I wanted it to. To skip through the details and straight to the pairing without explanation would have been impossible. Although not fully developed, I do plan on continuing this story to full grow into the assigned pairing, so if you enjoy what you see here, stay tuned! After the contest I'll be breaking up the partitions into separate chapters and adding to it from there.
Hourglass
"Marik, destiny's on my side today! The whole world is counting on me!"
"Your foolish confidence shows me that you have no comprehension of the true horror that awaits you in this duel."
"What's going on?"
"See someone familiar, do we? It's your good friend Mai, slowly slipping into the Shadows! Once our duel ends, she'll be gone."
"No, I won't let this madness continue Marik!"
"I'm afraid it gets worse! She's not the only one who's in danger here… I have several surprises in store for you today! … do you realize what is at stake now?"
"Marik, this is about you and me so leave him alone!"
"You're forgetting about my weaker half. He is involved in this conflict as well."
"No, you can't!"
"I just did. The Shadow Realm will claim an innocent no matter who wins!"
Violet eyes flit back and forth at the scene before her. Her hands, covered in sand, still clawed for freedom in spite of the glass surrounding her. Her fingers would barely flex, the grains were packed in around her so tightly it hurt. It pressed even around her chest, making it hard to breathe, and each breath was a gulp, a struggle to provide air to the rest of her body.
She knew that she'd lost her duel, but this wasn't at all what she'd signed up for. Fear was cold and chilling, and it clawed up her throat as she thought of Marik's words to her. He spoke of power and magic, and even if she didn't believe in either of those things the text on The Winged Dragon, Ra card didn't lie; she hadn't been able to read it. She couldn't summon the monster she'd needed to win.
"Please, help me!" she screamed as soon as she made out Yuugi's form.
This can't be real, she told herself. But the sand didn't become any looser as she continued to struggle. People can't do this. It became a mantra – perhaps this was a dream. If she fought it hard enough, she would wake up.
No.
Beneath her the duel waged on. Mai couldn't hear the goings on but she could see the pull of each card, watch the Monsters as they were summoned and destroyed. There were two Yuugis on the field and two Mariks as well, one of each dueling each other and the others crying out in pain when damage was dealt. She couldn't wrap her mind around it. None of it made sense to her. Somehow, she knew her fate rested on Yuugi's shoulders (one of them, anyway), and she prayed that between having a threshold for pain and winning the duel that everything would work out.
The sand began to creep onto her lips. It hurt to breathe. This is not how people die. So she couldn't. This couldn't be the end for her. I'm in an hourglass. Sand is everywhere. It wasn't real. This had to be a nightmare. She was going to wake up at any moment.
That didn't stop her from struggling, though she could barely turn her head. Tears spilled from her eyes from the stress of uncertainty, her terror amplified by her inability to wipe them away. They rolled down her cheeks onto the sand and were consumed. Like she was going to be.
It's okay. You'll wake up. Close your eyes. Close your eyes! But the duel below her was too important. There was too much at stake. When all three gods appeared on the field, and Slifer was destroyed, Mai wept openly.
There would be no chance for her if Yuugi didn't win.
But Yuugi had never lost a duel before, and Mai had witnessed his skill first hand. Not only did he compete like a champion, but he cared about those he dueled against, and supported those whom he called friends and companions. She didn't know if she counted as one of them but, as she pursed her mouth closed to keep sand from pouring inside, she desperately wanted to believe that she did.
The images swirling before did, as the duel continued, seemed like a dream. Duel Monsters summoned to the field were nearly real, turning to look and nod and stare at their summoners. Yuugi's face, both of them, turned from worried to triumphant and doubtful and back again. Mai couldn't see their Lifepoints, but she could see the Yuugi and Marik who were tied up, faces scrunching in agony and pain.
When Ra left the field one of the Mariks lost a large chunk of himself, ripped as though by claws and Mai stayed her sobbing. This was important. She coughed, turning her chin up, trying to avoid as much sand as possible. This was it. She could tell from the look of displeasure on Marik's face that Yuugi was winning – both of them.
Mai felt, more than saw, the dull eyes of the nearly defeated Marik stare in her direction. She couldn't turn her head to confirm it, not without breathing in sand. Even defeated, the force of his destructive nature seemed to pour its intentions on her and Mai felt sick, like throwing up. Something had gone wrong.
If she could have kicked or punched against the glass to get their attention, she would have. "No, please—Yuugi, help me!"
The sand fell through the center of the hourglass in torrents to bury her. Mai held her breath until it felt as though her chest would burst from the inside out, and when she inhaled her throat burned. She coughed as the sand fell into her. Had anyone noticed what was happening to her? Every blink brought with it the coarse sting of affliction. She couldn't stop choking, saliva caught in those grains of sand as she gagged and vomited. It hurt to breathe. She tried to scream but gurgled pain instead, the taste of blood flooding her tongue.
Everything went dark, and Kujaku Mai drowned in a sea of sand and fear and defeat.
A hacking cough echoed into nothingness, and Mai found herself lying face down in a pool of her own saliva.
She tried to scream but didn't have the breath to and inhaled, sharply. An attempt to sit upright resulted in a shudder that took over her entire body from head to toe. Those first breaths were too deep for her to handle, and she retched. Sand scratched her throat as it spilled out of her. Every breath hurt, but less than before. Caked in sand she may have been, but Kujaku Mai was certainly alive.
That realization was so moving that she sobbed, body shaking, for a few moments. He did it.
Several minutes passed before she was able to roll over onto her back. The sky above her was blue, an impeccable blue, but as she struggled for breath Mai couldn't bring herself to give a damn about it. The sun rained down on her, her body brushed by warmth. Her arms twitched with the effort of shielding her eyes, but didn't make it more than a few centimeters away from the ground. Her head pounded with the new exposure to light. The pain was nearly nothing in comparison to what she'd felt before, and she prayed a silent thank you to whoever would listen with each successful breath she took.
Marik. He did something. Where am I?
In enough time she was able to stand on her feet without dry heaving. Immediately she noticed that her duel disk was still attached intact, a weight that took double the effort to lift. Her headache persisted, and it seemed that the line between reality and wherever-she-was was melding with each passing second. There was no reason for her duelling equipment to appear in a dream - but it could. Never before had she dreamt such vivid pain - but she could. No detail seemed conclusive in either direction.
Scattered around where she'd lain were shards of glass, and once she could control, her breaths and move without experiencing vertigo, Mai pulled them close and tried to examine them. They all seemed to have a faint white glow, but it could have been her lightheadedness at work, so she focused on the details she could confirm instead. Some of the pieces matched her in height. Glancing around her, she decided that a few of them would be useful.
She didn't know what was happening around her, but dream or not it would take an idiot to misjudge the danger. Dying in dreams could 'kill you in real life', everyone said. Mai wasn't one to follow the crowd, but nothing about this was familiar and staying alive could not have been a terrible idea. All sorts of predators lived in the desert. Without some form of protection, she'd become a victim for sure.
Her body convulsed at the thought of being helpless. The image of Marik, all sharp teeth and harsh eyes, flashed through her thoughts. Instinctively she spun around to confirm that she was alone, heart rate quickening as she remembered that mad man's hunger. He had reveled in his victory over her. The look that he had given her towards the end… Marik was a nightmare, and one of the few things that Mai knew was real.
I'm here, she told herself, I'm okay.
Mai talked herself into carrying some of the glass with her. Many of the shards could be used as a weapon. To protect herself from injury while wearing them, she removed her vest and wrapped the pieces in it. Carefully, she positioned the bundle so that any exposed pieces pointed outward. She didn't know what she would do with them yet, but she knew that they would be useful. In the end, she managed four pieces total. Between them and the duel disk, her arms felt as though they would rip from the weight of it all.
In spite of her slow pace, she hauled herself across the sand, feet dragging and arms low. Turning her eyes to the landscape around her for a sense of direction, Mai found herself disappointed. Her eyes met with the dull beige of bleached sand, the same color as the mass that had crushed her. There was nothing else but dunes in the distance. Not a single shrub struggling above the surface. No animals, either, and no shade.
The sun was the only beacon, hanging over the horizon, and Mai decided that she would follow it.
Fading temperature was the forerunner for nightfall. The desert was just was desolate as ever, still nothing in sight for miles. Her limbs aching, Mai collapsed in the sand much sooner than sunset, unable to handle traveling for such a long distance. No matter how many breaks she took, she seemed to never catch her breath. Every now and again she would feel as though she were swallowing barbs. She'd retched until she was sure her stomach would pop out onto the sand. The glass she carried and the duel disk on her arms did nothing to shield her from the heat and the cold.
What if I die tonight while I'm sleeping? Mai didn't know if she would wake up. Maybe she never would.
She carried no material for making a flame, had nothing besides her deck and her identification. They were all useless pieces of paper now, worth nothing. When the sun set, she was truly alone. In the dark she couldn't make out her hand held out in front of her. Anything at all could creep up on her and devour her. If she took the time to squint, to try to make out the new world around her, Mai could see dull, lavender eyes staring back. Even in the dark, Marik waited for her.
Sleep evaded her, staved off by paranoia. Being so utterly alone wasn't something that Mai could stand. There was no way to tell if she was out of her mind, or if something had happened to her, and a good chance that this could be her last night at all. Holding herself, she considered the glass she had gathered - she could make the choice to put herself out of her misery. Her limbs would stop crying out in pain; she'd be able to speak without coughing. Food and water would be an issue soon, too, and with nothing at all showing itself in every direction there was a good chance she would die of starvation or thirst.
But in the end, no matter what her logic, she couldn't make the decision. It didn't help that she couldn't quite recall how far away she'd placed the bundle of shards. If she was going to keep herself alive, cutting herself up in a bungled attempt at suicide would just make her more pathetic. Being unable to decide even on killing herself frustrated her, and since she was alone she let herself cry a little more. She couldn't produce a single tear.
Curled up and shivering from the cold, the fatigue won out, and eventually the sting of howling winds melted into the nothingness of slumber.
If Mai didn't know any better, she would have thought those were eyes staring at her.
Many days had passed since arrival, and she had learned a great many things. Most importantly, the weather would not kill her. Waking on her second day seemed a sort of miracle, but as time went on the heat seemed less hot and the nights less cold. No matter how much she shivered or sweat, she suffered no ill causes. Not so much as a sneeze passed her lips, and she never suffered a runny nose or any other sinus related symptom. Her injuries, scrapes and scratches from climbing and tripping and trekking disappeared each morning. Likewise, though she felt hunger and thirst, the need to eat and drink never progressed to anything lethal. She lost no energy from her lack of consumption.
And so, Mai concluded that she was in a dream.
The nights were the worst. The moon was not bright enough to improve her vision in the dark, and without anything to make a fire with her sleep was uncomfortable. Even after she'd come to understand that the cold wouldn't kill her, the fact remained that she had to struggle to sleep in it. Once the sun was up, the heat was too uncomfortable to sleep in, and her sleeping and waking hours were based on that discomfort alone.
"You should be dead."
The voice was crisp and hard and sounded like sandpaper being rubbed across a man's throat.
She would have screamed if she could, but her throat was much too dry for that. Mai scrambled away from the figure that stood before her. Every morning, she awoke with a start, accessing her surroundings to soothe her fears of being abducted overnight. Now it was happening to her. Hands flailed for her bundle of glass; she had never been able to use them, but she would if she had to. Dreaming or no she would not deal with another person touching her. Sleeping and walking on sand was enough reminder of her frailty - she had been buried in it and she would never forget what that felt like.
"I wouldn't, if I were you. I'd hate to slice that pretty throat open but I will defend myself."
The man didn't move, however, and Mai snatched what remained of her belongings to her side. It wasn't much, but the the sharpened branches she'd found as she wandered had been helpful. Her heart was trying to leap out of her throat, and she took the moment to study him and back as far away as possible. He didn't pursue her.
Looking as though he were drowning in the red robes that covered him, there was no mistaking that he was a native of the area. Dark skin was caked in sand, though it looked much better than Mai must have. On his back was a pretty sizable pack, nearly half his size. Though she had never seen him before, something about him was familiar. Sporting white hair tinged with the ruddy color of the dunes around him, he continued to stare at her with a sinister looking expression. It reminded her of Marik, the way that he had glared at her before she woke up in the middle of the desert.
Once Mai had all of her belongings, she stood slowly and backed away. The man refused to move an inch, chocolate eyes instead following her as she retreated. She couldn't decide which scared her more: that he had pronounced her death with a conviction that made it sound as though he were certain, or that he hadn't given chase, as though she were some mouse moving unbeknownst into a trap. Every few steps, Mai turned around to see his silhouette waiting in the distance. Even as a pinprick on the horizon after several hours of walking, he was still there. Crouched, she was sure.
Haunting her. Hunting her.
She had recently stumbled into rockier terrain, replete with sparse plant life that seemed almost abundant in comparison to the landscape she'd met at the time of her arrival. Mai had no weapons and no method for catching meat, but vegetation was a different story. It was simple: she would climb onto one of the high rocks and watch the animals below. They were much too quick and wily for her, but she would note which bushes and plants they ate from. Her steps were enough to chase them away, and she had no trouble stripping leaves. It tasted like mulch, bitter and sometimes tangy in her mouth. But they were so moist, and after eating quite a few she could produce something resembling human speech. Her coughs, aggravated by whirling sand in the desert winds, didn't rub her throat as raw.
At the end of the day, the figure was long away from her sights and while she wanted to breathe easy, she couldn't. Did the man finding her mean that there were more nearby? As the rocky scenery began to yield to a small field of mountains, Mai began to worry. If there were more of them, they may hunt. Would she want to risk her safety for the possibility of meat or shelter?
This is a dream, she reminded herself, to calm her beating heart.
Her vigilance was well deserved. The moon as a bit brighter that night than the others, and she could make out the outline of the landmarks around her. But it wasn't the silhouette that gave him away that time. It was the sound of his footsteps as they dragged across the sand. This time, Mai was ready; the other shards of glass tucked away, her vest was free to use as a grip for her improvised dagger.
You can do this. Run him through if you have to.
"You need water."
Mai recalled the pack from earlier and wondered if he had any. Why would he share it with her? Clutching her dagger-of-glass close, she didn't move. It was too dark, and all things considered, she would have rather avoided a scuffle. She knew she wouldn't win. Despite her uncertainty about her existence in this world she couldn't shake the feeling of terror at the possibility of death. A creeping suspicion appeared to tell her that if he hadn't wanted her to hear him, it was very likely that she wouldn't have.
When she didn't reply, he seated himself beside her. Mai's skin crawled, and she cleared her throat enough to say in cracked tones, "Go away."
"No no no, dearie; I daren't. You're the most interesting thing I've seen in months. Weapon in hand, sleeping in the dark. Water?"
Pulling the pack off of his back, he rummaged through it. She heard the jug of water before she saw it, ears focusing on the liquid sloshing around. Salvation. Mai's hands were outstretched before she could stop herself. He all but shoved it into her grasp, his smile both bright and menacing. As she took the first gulp, she regretted it. What if he meant to poison her, or worse? But the liquid was refreshing, much better than the leaves she'd been consuming thus far. It dribbled down her chin, and the pores on her throat felt crisp and new, dirt and sand dragged down with each escaped bead of water.
You need a bath, Mai told herself and she was grateful that the night sky would hide her embarrassment.
"Who did you piss off to get here?"
The question made her sputter. He'd given her a bit of water, but that wasn't enough to divulge every detail to this scary man. She knew less about him than she did about being there, and until speaking to him proved to yield something more than water Mai would regard it as private.
"I'm not-" she cleared her throat and handed back the flask. Now that she'd had some water, and hadn't dropped dead, she paid more attention to the container. There was animal skin on the outside, and the material felt thick and heavy. In her mind she could picture this dangerous man killing the animal himself to house his drink. "You don't need to know."
"The only reason you would be here is because you lost a Shadow Game."
Marik's face appeared in her mind's eye, and the shiver that followed was not from the cold. "I didn't lose anything." Then Ra, the card with the strange text on it. That helplessness began to claw its way up her throat all over again, and Mai shook her head to drive the thoughts away.
The smile grew brighter. "You're a liar. I like that. Protecting what's yours is the way to survive here."
She wanted to tell him to leave, but the water had been good and she needed more of it. "Where did you find the water?"
The man stood, his robes brushing Mai's shoulder. "...So now you want to trade? I'm afraid you don't have very much that I want." He took a gulp from the flask himself, and if she was reading his silhouette correctly, stretched. "Information, girl. An answer for an answer. I am currently intrigued. I assure you that this is rare form for me. You'd best use it to your advantage."
Turning the proposition over in her mind, she decided that it seemed beneficial. If he asked anything she didn't want to answer, she wouldn't have to. She'd gotten along well enough without him. The hunger and the thirst wouldn't kill her.
"Do you know where I can find water?" she asked.
He shuffled around in his bag again while he stood. "Heh heh. You seem to think that you have the courtesy of going first in this exchange. I have the advantage. My question is first."
Tilting her head, hoping that her voice would be more convincing while her appearance wasn't up to par, she said tentatively, "Ladies first…?"
Red robes trembled as raucous laughter filled the air around them. "You are amusing as well." Then it was gone. "How did you end up here?" The mirth disappeared just as quickly as it had shown itself.
For all of her stalling on that particular question, Mai honestly didn't know how she'd gotten there. If she was dreaming, how did she answer that question? "I… I don't know. None of it makes sense."
"More than you want to give it credit for. What is the last thing that you remember?"
Mai crossed her arms, indignant. She was familiar with cons and he wasn't fooling her one bit. "I answered your question, even if it wasn't the answer you wanted."
She couldn't see him frown, but the air around her grew colder and she imagined that it was his fault. Mai was familiar with the type of men who didn't like being denied what they wanted. "Very well." The response was spat out as though the words themselves were unsavory. "Yes, though you've wasted your question."
Begrudgingly, she realized that he was right. She should have asked where the water was - it was obvious that he knew where to find it. She needed to be careful. He must have been following her to be here this night - and if he had escaped from her sights he must have been clever. He was just as crafty as the animals she'd been unable to catch.
"Which Millennium Item locked you away?"
A question that she was uncomfortable with. She didn't know anything about what he was talking about. The only clue she had was Ra and the strange writing. "All I know," she said, "is that I couldn't read the text on the card. That's why I lost. And then - then I…" The scene had played out in her head, over and over again. The looming monster, shrouded in light, the shame she felt at her defeat. Marik bearing over her, his sinister voice; a golden light, and then…
"H-he had this gold thing…" That was what had knocked her out. Mai couldn't explain it, but she was sure. "It was like a staff." Marik had carried it with him everywhere.
"Ah, the Rod," he said with a sigh. "One of the weaker ones, for sure." As he fumbled around in the dark, he knelt low to ground, closer to her than ever.
Intrigued as she may have been by his response, her questions were more important and she wouldn't waste them on him. "I assume you have weapons. Where can I get some?"
"Ah, yes, because your little crystals only work on what? Jerboa? Perhaps they keep the scorpions away if you hold them up to the sun?" He chuckled. "Truth be told, I stole them. The villagers tend not to mind me, so…"
Sparks flew from his hands onto the ground.
He's making a fire… She couldn't believe it. Water and flame? But nothing came for free, and Mai was wary of what the cost would be. Neither of them spoke as he tended a small, fledgling fire. The area around them was suddenly very visible, and the warmth licked at her skin and Mai, for the first time in nearly two weeks, felt at least close to comfortable.
He sighed. "I tire of this game. You've nothing useful left to tell me, so I am going to take my leave." There was a certain sadness to his words, and Mai frowned. Whatever it was that he wanted to hear, Mai hadn't said it. "Southeast. In about a day's walk - at least for you - there should be a town." His tone had sounded so human, and that was something that she had missed most of all. Though she was weary of him, he was the first contact that she'd made with another person. He was going to leave her with a proper campsite.
"...thank you."
This time when he glanced at her, he simply looked tired. "This place is dangerous. Don't trust anyone. Least of all, me. In my younger years you'd have been much worse off. I tend to take what I want."
For just a moment, Mai felt the full intensity of his gaze. His eyes were difficult to make out in the fading light but her discomfort was more than enough to identify his hunger. She hugged herself defensively, but the moment passed and he did nothing. The feeling slipped away. Then his pack was bundled up and shouldered and he was off again.
A part of her didn't want him to go. He was dangerous, certainly, but not more than she had experienced before - at least, that was what she told herself. Nothing had felt so solid and real as conversation, and this man seemed to know more about how she had arrived here than she did. For a moment Mai contemplated the potential of never seeing him again - and of never getting any answers to her questions. She panicked. "Wait - please." Her voice croaked with effort. If this was a dream, perhaps he could explain to her how to get herself to wake up.
"The Thief King waits for no one," was his reply. He halted in his steps, but didn't turn around.
"I… I need to know. Is this real? Am I ever going to wake up?"
Her words faded into the wind, and he did not immediately respond. Silence sat between them for a long time, and if it weren't from the glow of a now-healthy flame, Mai wouldn't have been able to tell if he'd gone or not.
"...you're here to suffer," he said finally. "Next time I might kill you." And then he vanished.
The evening was quiet in the wake of his departure. Even the fire seemed to muffle its crackles in reverence. Mai tried to spot a shifting silhouette outlined against others, but it was as though the man with the white hair had used magic. She wouldn't have been surprised.
He had made it clear that she was trapped there, in not so many words. It cleared up nothing so far as whether or not she was dreaming, but he'd had more answers than questions. Though he put up a tough act, her appearance had startled him into following her. 'Interesting', he had said, but was bored of her answers. If she wanted to talk to him again, she would need better answers. He might have known how to escape, or wake up - maybe both.
I'll find him again, she decided. In the silence of her thoughts, surrounded only by her memories, Mai found herself already missing their exchange. How long had she gone without contact with another person? She clenched her fists in determination. You're not going to kill me.
Only when the fire died down to small embers did she decide to sleep.
{FIN}
Thanks for reading this, and I hope that at the very least this allowed you to get a glimpse of where the story may go from here. I apologize for the snail's pace, but to connect this to the canon as much as human possible I had to slow down and explain things from Mai's perspective. It may not look like much now, but I'm quite looking forward to the possibilities in later installments. I appreciate all readers bearing with me on this one!