By: Kay ~*~
Disclaimer: I don't own Ax or anything to do with the Animorphs, please don't sue me. Thank you.
Notes: This is in NO way related to my "A New Chapter" or "Hope Chronicles" series.. totally different fic I wrote in a study hall a long time ago. Or what seems like a long time ago...
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I stared straight ahead, giving away no emotions. No fear or panic. My face was totally expressionless. I refused to let them see my fear. I'd rather die than let them think I was afraid of what was about to happen to me.
My name is Aximli-Esgarrouth-Isthil.
And I am about to be infested.
Yes, it is true. The Yeerks are going to infest me, put a filthy slug into my head. Make me a slave in my own mind.
I refused to look at Visser Three's triumphant face. I did not dare give him any satisfaction from this. But I knew that he was there, leering and laughing in victory. He thought he had won. He thought that nothing could stop him now. As soon as the Yeerk crawled into my head, he would know everything about the "Andalite Bandits". He would realize they were humans. He would find out their names, homes, morphs, and weaknesses.
He would know everything.
And we would lose.
All because of me.
A Hork-Bajr stepped forward, and unlocked the cage that I had been waiting stoically in. I forced my eyes to give away nothing as the two Hork-Bajr entered cautiously and snagged my two human arms and forced them behind my back. I held my head high, determined not to give away anything. I would never give them the satisfaction of knowing they'd beaten me, that they had broken my spirit. That I knew that all hope was lost.
The two Hork-Bajr pushed me forward, out of the cage. Several important Controllers watched them start to drag me to the Yeerk infesting pier. Prisoners, humans locked up in cages all around me, sobbed and screamed. The humans used as hosts. They seemed to know that it was all over now. That after this, their only hope of ever being freed from this Hell was gone forever.
As they led me toward the pier, my thoughts went back to how I had gotten into this mess to begin with...
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I flipped idly through the channels on my primitive TV set. Television shows flickered by, the rapid whirl of color and laughter that neither interested or captivated me like it usually did. I was restless today- perhaps it was the incoming feeling of spring, and the warmth in the air. Or perhaps it was the sun that was shining brightly that day- it gave me a feeling of contentment and peace that was often rare to find in the war we fought with the Yeerks.
Finally pressing the electronic "remote control" as Marco called it, I turned off my T.V. I stood on all four of my legs, and stretched my tail. Trotting out of my scoop, I started to run.
If I had known what fate awaited me I would have stayed and watched T.V.
I ran through the vegatation of the forest- leaping over debris and logs, and feeling the scratches of small branches on the bushes against my legs. The forest was beginning to become a familiar place to me- I knew it as well as I knew my own tail blade. I headed for a nearby meadow that was isolated, and was a wonderful grazing spot.
It was then, as I looked through the trees, that I saw them.
Hork-Bajr.
Quickly I ducked as well as an Andalite can, behind the froilage. Shouts and voices echoed in the meadow, and I dared to look through the leaves. Four Hork-Bajr- to many to fight if they found me. All of them holding Dracon Beams on a human. A human-Controller? I was not sure- for although she carried her own Dracon Beam, she was pointing it at the Hork-Bajr.
My hearts pounded in my chest. Could it be a free Controller somehow? I felt my breath catch. It was impossible! No human or alien had ever regained control of their Yeerk, and the Yeerk Pool's prisoners were all kept in cages.
Was this a trap? Or was this human female in need of help?
I hesitated. The human was female, and had long hair similar to Rachel's, only darker in color. She was bleeding, I realized- down on her right leg. She was injured.
The Hork-Bajr growled in Galard gruffly. I translated it to: "We can't let her get out of here- Visser 3 will have our heads if we don't capture her! Do something fools!"
It was that which finally convinced me. I had no time to find Tobias or the rest of the Animorphs- no time but to try and save her myself. Impossible! My stalk eyes twitched in frustration. No Andalite, no matter how great a tail fighter, could take on four Hork-Bajr at once!
But I had to try.
I lept from the bushes and ran for them. The Bajr did not even realize what had just occurred until my tail blade whipped through the air and sliced off a hand holding a Dracon Beam. The Hork-Bajr bellowed in pain and stumbled back.
"Gssahh! Andalite!" a Hork-Bajr shouted.
I narrowed my main eyes in concentration as two of them came forward, their blades flashing in the light. I blocked their blows best I could- with one of my stalk eyes I saw the free human stumble and aim her Dracon Beam at the last Hork-Bajr who stood, fumbling for his own weapon. She aimed... and fired. That one shot determind my fate- I could never take on three at the same time. I was having a hard time enough with these two.
I will never forget it.
She missed.
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I tried to get away; I really did. But they won in the end. They brought me, and the free human, down to the Yeerk Pool, and put me in one of the cages where they contain the human hosts. Visser Three wanted to infest me immeadiatly, to find out all the information about the "Andalite Bandits".
But Yeerks are not that smart. Visser Three forgot one important detail. He wanted a morph capable Andalite. One with a tail and a body able to become any animal it chose to be.
He forgot cages leave plenty of room to morph.
I'd never escape, but they would never take me as an Andalite that could morph. I'd never give them another Andalite to infest, or a power like the morphing technology. I was giving them a human nothlit.
The Hork-Bajr started to lead me down to the pier, practically shoving me. My human legs managed to keep their balance, though. Even now, I wondered how easily they managed to walk with two legs and no tail.
I guess I'll never find out.
The humans in the cages were all watching still- sad eyes and drained forms. I kept my eyes on them, somehow, scanning them for something. I was not sure exactly what.
I found her.
The free human who had almost made it to freedom, and had lost because she had missed one simple shot, was leaning against the bars of one of the cages. She was crying hard, and watching me. When she felt my gaze on her, she looked straight at me. Her scared eyes pleaded for something.
I'm sorry... she mouthed.
I smiled, and nodded. It was okay. It really was, in an odd way. I was getting infested because of her- but I was not mad at her. I was only sorry I never got a chance to free her. I did not need to forgive her- there was nothing to forgive. At least I had tried, and that made me proud somehow. I had tried, not just left her to be taken back without any hope.
The crowd shifted again, and she was blocked from my sight. Her sad, guilty eyes stayed in my mind, however.
I never saw her again.
I hope she managed to get to freedom somehow again.
Somehow, as strange as it is, I wasn't scared anymore. I knew what was going to happen. I had no fear of it. I knew what to do.
And I was proud to go like this.
I was proud to be a human when I died. Even though I was an Andalite, and always would be at heart, I had a part of me that belonged to the human friends I knew and cared for. Prince Jake, Cassie, Marco, Rachel, and Tobias; my friends. My allies. My family. They would always be in my hearts.
And I was proud to go as one of them. I was all of them. I was Andalite, human, and nothlit. Just like Tobias, my nephew and shorm.
I am sorry Tobias, I thought, feeling a dull ache in my chest.
As I reached the end of the pier, I stopped. The filty sludge of the Yeerk Pool was overflowing with slimy, filthy Yeerks. All traes of fear or anger had left me. I was calm. Sorry, sad, and proud, but calm. I had so many regrets. So many wishes.
But finally, I was going home in a way. Maybe one day I would see my friends and family again. Until then I would be with Elfangor. My brother. If there was such a thing as an afterlife, he was sure to be there. If there was not such a thing, then at least I would have still have joined him in death. I missed him so very much, and now I would hopefully see him again. Maybe. After all the bloodshed and hate and fear, I clung to the dim hope that maybe there was an afterlife, and I would see him there. The Andalite I had always wanted to be, the one I had admired since I had met him, and loved since I'd heard him.
Visser Three was making some speech about his own greatness. I hated him. I knew this was the last chance I would get to get out of this situation. Now there was no turning back. The Hork-Bajr started to force me down, but I went limp. They stumbled forward, and I reached up and grabbed a Dracon Beam from one of their large hands.
I leaped up and ran forward, away from the edge. It was total panic. Controllers drew their Dracon Beams and aimed, but didn't fire. Hork-Bajr tensed, and readied themselves for a fight. I just stood on the pier.
^There's no where to go, Andalite filth,^ Visser Three boomed mockingly. He walked forward on his hooves. Evil radiated off of him, but for once, I didn't feel my insides quake with terror. Was it the morph?
"I know that Visser," I said quietly, still tense and holding the Dracon Beam. "But I will never let you infest me. Never."
^You have no other choice,^ Visser Three sneered.
"Yes I do," I said calmly. "Death."
^I find it hard to believe you'd kill yourself, Andalite scum,^ Visser Three said with a laugh. He seemed to smirk as he crossed his arms. ^You wouldn't dare.^
I shook my head, and raised the Dracon Beam to the side of my head.
It was set on Maximum power.
Free... or dead.
Visser Three tensed, but gave a dismissal laugh. ^You'd never give your own life.^
"Better to die for what I believe in than let your kind infest me," I replied promptly, my eyes flashing indignantly. Somewhere in the back of my mind, I wondered why that sounded so familiar. Wasn't it something like a great human once said? I was not sure...
"I would rather die than hurt my fellow friends and warriors. I'd never betray them, Yeerk filth," I continued.
^They'll die anyway, foolish Andalite,^ Visser Three snapped. ^They cannot stop us.^
I laughed. Visser Three looked startled, as I burst out into genuine laughter that sounded odd to my own ears. I have never really laughed properly in human form, and even now, as I did, it sounded twisted and forgien to my ears.
"That is what you think. But I know something you do not."
^What?!^ the Visser demanded.
I smiled. "We will never stop fighting. And we will never give in. And that, Visser, is why in the end... We will win."
Having said my last words, I closed my eyes, and squezzed the trigger a little more tighter. The next few milliseconds seemed to slow down in time, allowing me time to think. Images flashes by...
Sunrises.
Tobias, my friend, my shorm and nephew.
Cassie, and her animals. Kind, gentle Cassie.
Prince Jake, Rachel the warrior, and Marco the one that kept us all laughing and getting to serious.
Mother and Father.
Flying in the sky; catching thermals.
Meadows.
Stars, shining in the blackness. My home star.
Sunrises, golden ones that faded in the noon time.
Elfangor, my brother who was killed at Visser Three's hands.
Sunrises, the light drifting through the trees.
Elfangor, teaching me how to fight with patience I never understood.
Tobias, my friend, who was always there. My family, the one who would carry on. The one I trusted, and without even admitting it to myself, had loved like my brother.
"Tobias... forgive me..." I whispered as the warm loving images flew by. "Forgive me."
I pulled the trigger.
Everything went black... and then there was no pain.
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The next thing I remember was a bright light. It shone mercillesly, blinding me for a moment.
"Aximili?"
I turned in surprise. A woman was standing near me, smiling inquiringly. Her long blond hair seemed familiar to me, although I couldn't place it. She was beautiful in an unearthly manner.
"Aximili?" she repeated. "My, you do look like your brother."
I looked at her, feeling startled. ^What?^ It was only then that I realized I was back in my Andalite body. I was confused. How was this possible?
"Don't worry about it. It's best just to go with the flow usually," the woman said with a slight smile. Dazed, I nodded. She held out her hand. "I'm Loren."
Then I realized who she was. I would have gaped at her if I'd had a mouth.
^You are Tobias's mother...^ I whispered.
She nodded. "Yep. The one and only. Now come on, we've got to go."
I walked to the light with her, feeling more at peace but still dazed and confused. "Where are we going?" I murmered, and then jolted in shock as I realized that I was human now. What was going on? I never morphed...
"Where are we going?" she repeated, with a smile that belong to Tobias without any doubt.
"We're going to meet your brother."
"What about..?" I turned to the space away from the light. Loren shook her head. "He'll come in his own time. He needs to live out his life." She smiled suddenly when I looked sad. "Why the long face, Ax?"
"I.." I swallowed. "I will just miss them, that's all."
She walked with me to the warm light, and just before we went through it, she said to me:
"Yeah, I know... But you'll still be here, Ax. You'll be here waiting for them when they come through. And you'll be there to greet Tobias at the door."
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The End: Hope you liked it! I wrote this a LOOONNNGGG time ago... It's nice to finally have it up here! :) And who knows? Maybe I'll write a sequel.... I seem to like sequelling things... Heh heh...