When Worlds Collide:Marauders&Charlie and the Chocolate Factory
Where we last left our Marauders:
"We're getting out of here!"
He grabbed Peter's arm, and Sirius's, and James's, and pulled out his wand. Unluckily for them all, Sirius decided to do the same. "WHEE!" he shouted, before turning on his heel and apparating them all away with a crack.
Jack Sparrow looked at the scene from where he stood outside the door of his quarters. "I'll miss the lads," he said, before chuckling to himself. They had left their moneybags in his quarters, filled with gold Galleons.
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Where did the Marauders end up? At Willy Wonka's Chocolate Factory, of all places.
Upon arrival, Remus immediately gasped in excitement as he read the Chocolate Factory sign. Leaving all inhibition behind him, he jumped up and down and clapped his hands excitedly. "LET'S GO IN!" he screamed.
"Why should we?" Sirius demanded stubbornly. "You took away our rum! I like rum!"
"And I like chocolate," Remus growled. With much gusto, he turned and ran through the wrought-iron gates. Seeing that nobody followed him, he whipped about and frowned at Sirius, James, and Peter. "Oh, come ON! You know, chocolate has all the affects of rum…without the hangover!"
"I'M IN!" Sirius exclaimed, practically skipping through the gates. James quickly followed.
Peter paused. He looked down at his rather large stomach and sighed. "I guess a few more pounds won't hurt," he said, waddling through the gates to join his friends.
After forcing their way through the wad of people that stood beyond the gate, a most peculiar sight greeted them. Rotating, slightly creepy looking puppets began to sing. "Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, the amazing choclatier! Willy Wonka, Willy Wonka, Everybody give a cheer! He's modest, clever, and so smart, he can barely restrain it. With so much generosity, there is no way to contain it…" The song continued as Remus sighed and turned to face his friends. Peter had begun an odd Irish jig, Sirius was bobbing up and down to the music, and James had a strange, lopsided grin on his face. "The magician and the chocolate wiz, the best darn guy who ever lived! Willy Wonka here he is!" As randomly as the song had begun, it ended, with quite a bang. Puppets exploded and burst into flame. A mysterious, strange-looking man started clapping from next to Peter. Peter also began clapping immediately.
"Ah, at least somebody appreciates my work," the man mumbled quietly. He then turned and faced the crowd of people. "Hello starshine, the Earth says, 'hello!'"
"Who the bloody hell is this weirdo?" Sirius asked, rather louder than intended, turning towards James. James smacked his friend on the upside of the head and his cheeks tinged.
"I'm Willy Wonka!" the odd man exclaimed, pretending not to hear Sirius' outburst. "Welcome to my chocolate factory!"
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The Marauders followed Willy Wonka into a colorful room. Willy Wonka turned to them and once again began to speak. "Everything in this room is eatable. Even I am eatable. But that, my dear children, is cannibalism, which is frowned upon in many societies."
Sirius gasped, but Remus wasn't paying attention. His eyes had gone wide with awe. In front of him, gushing down, was a chocolate water fall! His mouth was opened slightly, and a small pool of drool could be seen forming in the bottom of his mouth. "Mmmmmm…"
"MOONY!" Peter exclaimed randomly. "MOONY'S DYING! AAAAAAAAAAH!"
"Shut up, Peter," Remus snapped, coming out of his reverie. He turned to Willy Wonka. "Can I…Can I…" Remus' eyes darted, and he spoke quickly. "Canichugthatwholething?"
Sirius and James exchanged bewildered glances, not understanding a word Remus had said. Willy Wonka, however, patted Remus on the back and chuckled. "If you drank all that, you'd die," he said simply.
"But…but…but I'd die happy!"
"Yes, I'm sure," Willy Wonka replied. "But that would be a lot of work for me…nasty lawsuits and that sort of thing…Besides, my chocolate can't be touched by human hands!"
"BUT I'M NOT HUMAN! I'M A WERE—"
James clamped a hand over Remus' mouth, and Remus growled. "He's just a bit…obsessed with chocolate," James explained calmly to Willy Wonka. "He'll make up frightful stories just to get his hands on a bar…It's quite hard to keep track of him."
Remus ripped of James's hand and sat down by an overly large mushroom, grumbling to himself. Suspicious phrases, including "I should have…" and "pull off his ears", kept floating back to where James, Sirius, and Peter all stood listening to what Willy Wonka had to say.
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Later on in the day, a rather large roar was heard randomly. "Sorry," Sirius said, reddening slightly. "I'm a bit hungry."
"Just a tad," Remus said sarcastically. "You're in the middle of a bloody CHOCOLATE Factory! Can't you think of some way to get rid of that problem?"
"Nope, not really," Sirius said simply. "Any ideas?"
"Hm…let's think," Remus replied. "We're only in a factory…COMPLETELY FILLED TO THE BRIM WITH CHOCOLATE!"
At this, Willy Wonka turned around. "Would you like some chocolate?" he asked sweetly.
"Yes," Remus practically moaned, imagining the sweet, gooey, half-melted chocolate swirling delectably around his taste buds.
Willy Wonka frowned. "Well, you'll have to wait!" he exclaimed, as Remus groaned in disappointment.
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Finally, after viewing all the rooms in Willy Wonka's chocolate factory, Sirius, Peter, and James sat in a corner, groaning and rubbing their stomachs gingerly. They had each, among themselves, eaten around two dozen chocolate bars. Only Remus was left still standing, eating his way steadily through his fifty-seventh candy bar.
"Moony," James croaked, "let's go?"
"As soon as I've finished these," Remus said, gesturing to at least twenty other chocolate bars.
"Just seeing you eat those all makes me want to pray to the porcelain god," Sirius groaned.
"What?" Remus asked, momentarily stopped from eating his chocolate.
"Pray to the porcelain god, meet your breakfast again, round-trip meal, feeding the toilet, talking to the toilet, upchucking, pu—"
"I GET IT!" Remus shouted, looking slightly green. However, he shoved another piece of chocolate into his mouth and immediately looked better.
"Oh, come on, Moony," Peter said. "Even I don't want any more chocolate, and you know how much I love to eat."
"I've had enough of this." James stood up and extended a hand each to Peter and Sirius, helping them up as well.
Sirius raised up his wand as James dragged Remus away from his chocolate mountain. "Ready?" Sirius inquired loudly, as James and Peter shook their heads desperately. Sirius didn't see. "One…two…WHEE!" Once again the Marauders left with a crack, on to another whirlwind adventure.
A/N: Hope you enjoyed…I wrote this with Mariel (who resides in burnxsoxbright) when we were bored (: time flies when you have fun! Reviews are always appreciated.