~This is my December

This is my time of the year.

This is my December

This is all so clear.~

Ryou stood ankle deep in the snow in the woods. His hair softly blowing across his face, he ignored the reddened snow near his ankles where they were slashed and bleeding. December...it was such a beautiful month. But he really had nothing else to respect. He left the Ring at home and had come to his little place...alone...

~This is my December

This is my snow-covered home.

This is my December

This is me alone.~

The icicles clinging to the evergreen trees made rainbows of blues, whites, and silvers along the ground. The entire ring of trees was a tranquil sight. But Ryou was not at ease.

~And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed.~

He sat on a log under one of the trees, ignoring the bitter cold. He put his face in his hands and shuddered, but not of the cold...there was a void in his heart. A feeling of missing. But he couldn't place it...if there was anything at all.

~And I

Take back all

The things I said

To make you

Feel like that.~

He remembered what he last yelled at him...

"I hate you! I truly hate you! I wish I'd never accepted that stupid gift! I HATE you!!!"

And he had torn the Ring from his neck and left in a fury. But how could he hate him? He was like a brother...if a brother meant a psychopath who was a masochist. The emptiness was nearly unendurable.

~And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed.~

There was no one left to go to. Just his own mind. His own thoughts. But the feeling still remained...

~And I

Take back all the

Things I said to you.~

He had continually ranted about his hate and had gotten severe thrashings that still hadn't healed. He'd rather lie out here and freeze to death.

~And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere

To go to.~

He'd give up most of his life just to come to senses with himself and his dark. This was the only place he knew that his dark didn't know.

~Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to.~

There was only one person to go to. She'd understand...but what could she do?

~This is my December

These are my snow-covered dreams.

This is me pretending

This is all I need.~

Could he stay here? Could he pretend everything was okay? It was all he needed...there was enough here...

~And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed.~

His body retched with shed tears and own bereavement hit the ground and chilled. He was staring, wide-eyed, into the snow, the air silent seldom his own breath, rising in puffs around him.

~And I

Take back all

The things I said

To make you feel like that.~

He fell onto his knees, holding his head and moaning. He cried out into the shadowy sky, answered with a condemning stillness. Snowflakes landed delicately on his tear-streaked face, each one like a gentle hand, with him trembling in the divine valor of the snow.

~And I

Just wish that

I didn't feel

Like there was

Something I missed.~

Why? Why December? Why now? ...why him?

~And I

Take back all the things

I said to you.~

The emptiness seemed to swallow him whole, and curse him with the darkness. He was floating in a vast world of his own hate and rage. He acted like his enemy...the worst plight in this realm.

~And I give it all away

Just to have

Somewhere to go to.~

Where do I go from here? He wondered. "Where do I go from here?" he whispered. He stared back up at the sky halfheartedly. "Where do I go from here?!" he shouted with all his might.

~Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to.~

But the reaction was still causing him pain. A pain that couldn't be healed in the routine definition...

~This is my December

This is my time of the year

This is my December

This is all so clear...~

A condemning month...December is the most sworn month of the year...yet, it marks the beginning of a resurrection of souls. But if he couldn't make it through that one day...it was the thirty-first. And nearing midnight.

~And I give it all away

Just to have somewhere

To go to...~

The seconds ticked by while his body heat worsened. He lay on his side, sniveling until the pain deadened...like him...

~Give it all away

To have someone

To come home to...~

And the very next day, suppose a young boy be coming to these woods, if he looked beyond a clearing, he would see the poor, deprived soul who lived in the snare of his own existence...the succession...of life...and death.