it was a bright sunny day in hoshido when nohr decided to come visit. wait did i same vist i mean enter without permission, wait thats the same thing. anyways nohr knocked on hoshido's door.
"please open hoshido. stop being closed. we have girl scout cookies." prince xander said.
"omfg i love girl scout cookies do u have thin mints." then ryoma opened the door and there were no cookies in sight. then he got mad.
"wow that was easy ok so we're gonna take over hoshido." xander said.
"no u cant do that." ryoma said as he knocked leo off his horse, desperate to find his beloved thin mints. then he saw it. corrin was standing beside elise holding the box of thin mints he had been craving for the last month. ryoma screamed and snatched the cookies from corrin and elise began screaming too.
"BIG BROTHER HE TOOK MY LAST BOX OF COOKIES ARE YOU JUST GONNA LET THIS FUCKING LOBSTER TAKE MY COOKIES." elise screamed and then ryoma ripped open the box and then began to eat the cookies.
"dude wtf you literally just stole cookies from a little girl." xander said and then he pulled out his sword and stabbed ryoma and ryoma fell over (he was not dead).
xander, corrin, leo, elise, camilla, and the rest of the nohrian army walked into hoshido and takumi was standing there waiting.
"oh my god theres so much scum here." takumi said.
"listen. why do you call us nohrian scum we literally call you by your name." corrin asked.
"shut the fuck up your opinion doesn't matter because you aren't wearing shoes." takumi said and shot an arrow at corrin but then it went by corrin and it actually hit ryoma and ryoma clutched onto his girlscout cookies in pain. but he was ok. dont mistake him for being dead. he's not dead.
"wow ur aim is so bad where did u learn to do that ur mom lol." leo said and takumi screamed "MY MOM IS DEAD BECAUSE OF *OUR* BROTHER." and then everyone covered their ears because takumi wouldn't stop screaming and then hinoka and sakura showed up.
"ugh i'm so mad i'm going to go have sex with my girlfriend so i won't be mad anymore." takumi said and xander was like lol ok and then they started to take over the hoshido and while nohr was doing that ryoma snuck into the nohrian castle and stole their entire life supply of girl scout cookies. you are probably wondering how he carried it back to hoshido. he stuffed it in his hair and it all fit. ok so back to that he went back to hoshido and it was taken over and takumi was Fucking Pissed that ryoma had left. so takumi screamed some more and sakura cried and hinoka died. not really i just wrote that cause it rhymed.
"ok we have taken over hoshido it belongs to us now but i'm willing to share it if you have sex with me- i mean share a bed with me-i mean live in hoshido and you can still dress like you're a prince and nice things but you're not really a prince anymore. i am." xander said.
"no u caant do that i already said u can't." ryoma cried out, a single cookie falling from his hair to represent the tears he could no longer shed.
"how bout i do anyway?" then before xander could actually take over hoshido it fucking blew up. it just blew up. and thats the end. bye