a/n: yoyoyo, back again, this time with the 'bara! a bit of angst, but some comfort.

if there are warnings, it's for the pre-slash that happens between haibara and ayumi, but if you really wanted, you could also read that as friendship. i mean, they're like 8. so. it's really not that shippy.

hope you enjoy!

Kudo Shinichi | Edogawa Conan:

It's taken some time, but with Haibara's help, Shinichi has managed to take the Detective Boys under his wing.

At first they were suspicious. "Why would a high schooler want to hang out with us?" Mitsuhiko asked, eyes narrowed and arms crossed.

Shinichi laughed sheepishly. "Haha, well, you see, my school has this program—"

"We won't be your school project!" Mitsuhiko snapped.

"I mean I heard about how smart and insightful you guys are from Conan!" Shinichi backpedaled.

"Conan-kun? You know him? How is he doing? Is he okay? We haven't heard anything from him!" Ayumi said, shoving both Mitsuhiko and Genta aside to launch herself at Shinichi. "Is he alright? Is he hurt? If he's in trouble, we'll come to rescue him!"

"He's okay, he's okay, Ayumi-chan!" Shinichi said, trying to keep his balance and remove the small girl from his person at the same time. "He's just… very busy with his studies right now." Shinichi made a mental note to see if the Professor could recalibrate that bow-tie to copy Conan's voice. Hah, he never thought he'd ever ask for that.

"Let's not worry Shinichi-san, okay, Ayumi? Let's wait for Conan-kun to call us."

Shinichi watched as Haibara reached out a pale, slender hand to Ayumi, and how Ayumi, without thinking, took hold, her grip strong.

"Conan will call, won't he?" Haibara turned her large, blue eyes to Shinichi—not a demand, but an assumption that he'll do as she says.

"R-Right," Shinichi said.

"How can we know we can trust this guy, huh?" Mitsuhiko demanded of Ayumi. "He's the guy who kept Ran-neechan waiting for so long!"

Shinichi raised his eyes to the sky and wished for the ground to envelope him whole. Why did he think this was a good idea again? They're kids; they would have forgotten about him eventually.

"Hey."

Shinichi had been distracted by Mitsuhiko and Ayumi arguing, and hadn't noticed Genta sidling up until he was right next to Shinichi. Shinichi bent down so they could talk on the same level. "Yeah?"

Genta leaned in to whisper, as if what he was going to say next was clandestine information of the utmost importance. "You help the police sometimes, don't you?"

"Yes," Shinichi affirmed. He could see where this was going.

"Then bring us with you! We can be helpful. We used to do it all the time when Conan was around because of the Sleeping Kogoro, but after he went away we never get to solve any mysteries!"

"Ahaha, see…" Shinichi stalled.

Mitsuhiko pointed an accusing finger at Shinichi. "I told you, Ayumi! This guy is no good!"

"Oh? I think that would be good," Haibara said, sticking her hands into her pockets. "We could learn a lot from the Great High School Detective of the East, don't you think? And Shinichi-san can learn to work with others." The for a change was heavily implied.

"That's—that's what I was going to ask you guys about, actually," Shinichi caved. "If I have a case that doesn't look like it's too dangerous, I'll ask you guys to come help out, alright? And I'll tell you about all the other ones."

Haibara scoffed, and under her breath she said snidely, "Danger didn't stop you when you were Conan."

Shinichi's eye twitched.

Ayumi's face lit up at Shinichi's proposition. "Oh, tha—"

Before Ayumi could finish, Mitsuhiko stepped out in front of her, arms flung open wide. "What's in it for you, huh?" he demanded. "Why would you do that?"

"I… well." Shinichi laughed helplessly. These kids.

"It's what Conan would have wanted me to do."

MItsuhiko deflated. "C-Conan? He asked you to do this?"

Shinichi nodded. "Yeah. He told me you guys were a special lot, and with some training, you'd make great police detectives someday. He asked me to help."

"Oh."

Ayumi ducked around Mitsuhiko to grab Shinichi's hand. "Shinichi-san, can you tell Conan thank you for us?"

"Wait, why?" he said, confused. "Wouldn't you want to tell him yourself?"

Ayumi shook her head. "He won't call for a long time, won't he?" she said. "I'll tell him thank you when he does, but before then, can you please tell him for us?"

Shinichi smiled. "Yeah. I will."

~0~

Haibara's decision to stay a child wasn't a surprise, per se, but Shinichi couldn't help but ask. "Are you sure?" he said, in his last moments as Conan. Clenched tight in his hand was the vial with the drug that would turn him back. It was clear, like water. Common, painfully common. He didn't know what he expected—neon colors, or fizzing bubbles, but it wasn't this.

Haibara nodded. There was no indecision in her eyes, although Shinichi guessed that it must be in her heart, tearing her apart. "There's nowhere for me to return," she said. "My sister is dead. My work… better off destroyed. No one to mourn me. It is better for me to stay like this. The Professor has already agreed to let me stay here until I can find another job."

The problem really wasn't with the Professor. "And you're okay with that?"

Haibara's eyes burned. "I told you once, didn't I? I wish I could forget. I wish I could just… erase. Erase everything. Erase who I was. This way at least… I can try to make up for it. I can try to help. I can move on."

Shinichi tried to be gentle. "This isn't moving on, this is—"

"I know!" Haibara burst. "I know. I know. I know this is cowardly, I know, but I—"

"It's okay," Shinichi said.

Haibara looked up, her eyes wet with tears she refused to shed. "You're not going to tell me off, O Wise Detective?" she said.

Shinichi had to smile. Even when deciding to erase who she used to be, Haibara's dry humor was still intact. "That's not my place," he said. "But for it's worth… I think who you are now, and who you used to be—they're both you. And they're both my friend. I'll stand by whatever you choose. And it'll be good, you know," he added, turning his back so she wouldn't see his own eyes misting up. "The Professor will have someone to keep him company in this big house."

"I won't test his games," Haibara said. Her voice had stopped quavering.

Shinichi laughed. "You can get the Detective Boys to do that," he said.

"And what about the Detective Boys? What will you tell them?"

"That Conan-kun's going to America to be with his parents," Shinichi said without missing a beat. "He's leaving tomorrow night."

"You rehearsed. You'll miss them," Haibara observed tonelessly.

"Well, of course I did!" Shinichi said. "What kind of friend would I—"

"This is hard for you, too," Haibara interrupted. She said the words like a lifeboat. Like they would keep them both afloat.

Shinichi's smile tightened. "Isn't it funny," he said, "that something that should be the easiest decision in the world could be so difficult?"

Haibara turned away.

"Isn't it."

~0~

Miyano Shiho | Haibara Ai:

Without Kudo around, Ai found she was spending more and more of her time alone. Kudo was really the one thing that connected her to the kids, and without him, they didn't always invite her to do silly things anymore.

Well, that was partially her fault. She had never made too much of an effort to be open and enthusiastic about their antics. Kudo was always the more receptive one, and the natural charisma he had didn't hurt, either. She's fairly certain that even after all their time together in the same class, none of the Detective Boys could say much more trivia about her than her name and where she lives. She still saw them at school and walked home with them, but other than that, they no longer had much contact.

Kudo, of course, took on the role of the meddling chicken. "Come on, Haibara," he needled over the phone. "They like the Professor, don't they? Have the Professor ask them over to play a game!"

"Even if the Professor had a new game, which he doesn't," Haibara said, "I wouldn't ask him to do my work for me. Keep your long nose out of my business, Kudo."

"Be brave!" Kudo urged, and Haibara hung up. She didn't need some brat to tell her what to do.

Still, it seemed that even though she had so obviously rejected his offers to be her crutch, he had meddled anyway.

"So, Ai-kun," the Professor said, twisting his napkin in his hands over dinner a few days later, "I was thinking to invite the Detective Boys over for a camping trip next weekend. We haven't done anything fun like that in a while now, and it'd be good to get some exercise!"

"Kudo-kun put you up to it, didn't he," Haibara said.

The Professor giggled nervously. "Shinichi's just worried about you, Ai-kun, so it's not—"

"Thank you, but I don't need his help," Haibara interrupted. "I'll ask them myself. Later."

"If you say so," the Professor said dubiously.

"I will," Haibara said, leaving no room for argument. She would do it. She was capable of asking a bunch of grade-schoolers to go camping with her; she had done it before. She wouldn't have anyone doubt her, least of all not some cocky high-schooler who had it made.

~0~

As it turned out, it wasn't the cocky high-schooler who circumvented her little protective fortress, but a small, eight-year-old girl.

The next day, as Haibara was bidding the Detective Boys farewell to walk back the rest of the way on her own, she found her attempt to leave stymied by sweaty palms grasping at her wrist.

"Wait, Ai-chan!"

"Ayumi…?" Haibara stared at their joined hands, uncomprehending.

Ayumi was shaking with barely-restrained energy. "You—you… you're never around anymore! After Conan-kun left!" she cried, eyes wide and earnest. "I know… I know that you and Conan were special and you probably thought we are just stupid little kids but I—I still want to be friends! I miss you, Ai-chan! Please come back to us!" She let go of Haibara's hand only to leap and wrap her arms around Haibara's waist. "I won't let go until you promise to hang out with us again!"

"I… this…" Haibara found herself at an uncharacteristic loss for words.

Mitsuhiko stepped forward, his face solemn. "We all miss Conan-kun, Haibara, but that doesn't mean you should shut yourself away forever."

Haibara had to huff a small laugh. As usual, Mitsuhiko advice was well-intentioned and well-stated, but entirely off the mark.

"Yeah, Haibara! Let's eat eel on rice and watch Kamen Yaiba again! The new season is coming out next week!" Genta, at the very least, Haibara noted with some far-away echoing amusement, was straightforward.

The moment spiraled down and froze on Haibara, in front of her unblinking eyes. Haibara Ai. Haibara Ai who was scared—Miyano Shiho, who was scared, because these kids didn't understand who she was and what she had done and how she had hurt. She found her body trying to turn away, but the two arms around her waist only tightened, and in that moment, she didn't think about Kudo. She didn't think about him, and his constantly sagely advice at all.

She felt the warmth of the young, thin arms of a girl, and how strong they were already, holding onto her like this. She felt as htough it could be these arms, these children, who could defeat the worst of the evil she had seen and done. And it was that warmth that lent her the strength to ask.

"Hey." Haibara hesitated. "The Professor promised to take us all on a camping trip next week if… you want to come."

Genta's eyes lit up faster than a dog chasing after a snack. "A camping trip? Will he bring food? Can we catch bugs?"

"Yeah! I heard there was this super rare bug that can be sold for hundreds of yen!" Mitsuhiko cheered. "Let's go!"

Haibara's shoulders relaxed. Against her will, she felt her lips turn upwards as she began to giggle, and then broke into shaky, hiccupping laughs. "Sure," she said. "Let's do it. Let's do all of it."

Ayumi, never letting go, smiled up at her. "I'm glad you're back, Ai-chan," she said.

Haibara put a hand on Ayumi's head and let it rest there. "Me, too."

~0~

Afterwards:

"I don't believe I ever said you could come," Haibara said icily from the backseat.

Shinichi laughed nervously. "The Professor said it might be good to spend some time off," he said. "Ran's shopping with Sonoko this weekend, so…"

Haibara glared.

"But I'm glad to see you're out," Shinichi said sincerely, eyeing Haibara's hand from the rearview mirror, which had been clenched tightly in Ayumi's ever since they all bundled into the car.

Haibara blushed violently. "That's—"

Ayumi noticed Shinichi looking and grinned her brightest smile at him. "Yes," she said. "I'm never letting Ai-chan go! She'll stay right here with me forever."

"Forever," Shinichi repeated with a smirk. "I don't think Haibara will mind."

"You keep your thoughts to yourself, Kudo," Haibara hissed.

"Don't forget us, Ayumi-chan!" Mitsuhiko said, somewhat desperately. "We'll be here too! We'll always be at your side!"

"I'm happy to be with all my friends!" Ayumi said, entirely oblivious.

Shinichi smiled at the ruckus in the back. He never thought he'd miss the friends—the life—he made as Conan, and watching them all play, as though nothing had changed, somehow felt comforting.

"Uh, Shinichi?" the Professor said, breaking into his thoughts.

"Yeah?"

The Professor nodded towards the front windshield. "I think… we have a problem."

There was a compact car (black, Toyota Corolla, license plate 71-95, Nerima office) parked sideways in the road, the driver's head lolling sideways unnaturally. His hand hung outside the window, dripping with—was it blood? It was too dark to be blood. Shinichi could make out letters, written upside down, on the driver's side door: A X B.

"Stop the car!" Shinichi shouted, opening the door even before the professor had come to a complete stop to sprint over to the body. He pressed two fingers on the victim's neck. "He's dead."

Haibara's eyes fell shut. Here they go again.

"Was it a car accident?" the Professor asked, stepping out of the car to squint at the body.

"No," Shinichi said. "This is murder."

Ayumi's hand squeezed Haibara's fingers tightly.

Even amidst the heavy air that surrounded a crime scene, Haibara had to smile slightly. Yes, here they went again. But she wasn't alone. Neither of them were.

and that's that! drop me a line with your thoughts!