A/N: Hi everyone! This idea came to me in the middle of the night and I just can't let it go! While I have written FanFiction before, this is my first attempt at this wonderful couple from Castle! This will be a six chapter story and was inspired by Ed Sheeran's "Photograph." I hope you all enjoy and feel free to review! :) I have no beta so all mistakes are mine! These characters belong to Andrew Marlowe and Co. and ABC. No copyright infringement intended!
Castle makes his way through the empty hallway of his building, a mix of anxiety and pain etched across his face. He reaches the door, pauses with his hand on the handle, and takes a deep breath.
Inside the loft, Kate paces back and forth in front to the sofa obsessively checking her watch. His plane was supposed to land hours ago and she hasn't heard a word from him. She knows being here is risky, Alexis or Martha could come looking for Castle at any moment, but his well being and safety is more important to her than keeping up some silly ruse that they are separated. She's sure he is just fine, probably just forget to turn his phone back on in his rush to get back to her and tell her what he found out.
She's ripped away from her thoughts when she hears the door open. She turns quickly and runs, collapsing into Rick's arms before he has a chance to fully enter the loft. He drops his bag the instant she crashes into him and wraps his arms around her back, one traveling up to tangle in her hair. Holding her for what he thinks may be the last time.
"Thank god you're okay." She breaths, clutching onto him for dear life. "What happened? You were supposed to land hours ago and your cell has been going straight to voicemail."
Rick pulls back from her, looking into her eyes. She sees the pain and fear etched across his face and instantly tenses up. She looks at him concerned as she caresses his face with her hands, leaving them to rest on his cheeks.
"Babe? What is it? What happened?"
Castle sighs and moves her hands away from his face. He can't stand the idea of her comforting him with what he's about to tell her. After what he's done. Kate's brow furrows in confusion at his move to pull away from her and moves towards him to try again. He moves back, turns, closes the door and grabs his bag from the floor.
"You should sit." He says solemnly.
He heads towards their room, leaving a confused Beckett behind.
"Rick?" She calls. When he doesn't respond she inhales a shaky breath and makes her way to the couch, sitting down like he asked, dreading the conversation that was about to unfold.
A few minutes later, Castle emerges from their room, dressed in sweats and a t-shirt. He makes his way towards the couch but stops short and sits in one of the chairs instead. Kate starts to move, intending to join him, but he raises a hand to stop her. She sits back down, fear covering her face.
"Castle. Rick. Please, just tell me what's going on. Why won't you let me touch you? Let me near you? Whatever it is we'll figure it out. Together. You taught me that remember?" She pleads.
"I'm scared you won't want to after I tell you this." He says quietly.
"Tell me what, Rick?" She asks desperately, "Please, jus-"
"I stayed away because of you." He says quickly. "Everything that happened in DC, everything with you AG team, it was my fault! I stayed away because of you."
Kate stiffens and Rick instantly regrets his words. He wanted to say it right, he wanted to be gentle with it, explain to her what happened and now, based on the look on her face, he fears he will never get that chance.
"Kate wait, that came out wrong."
Kate doesn't hear him as she sits frozen on the couch, her hands shaking, eyes blank. "He left because of you," the words the FBI agent drilled into her head a year and a half earlier play on a loop in her head. "He left because of you." Her hand rises and rests on her chest. She can't breathe. Air, she needs air. Tears sting her eyes as she rises quickly from the couch and races to the door.
"Kate!" Castle calls desperately, rising from the couch to run after her. "Kate, please!"
He reaches the open door and enters the hallway but she is nowhere to be found. She's gone, and he thinks that this time, she may not come back. He falls against the wall and slides down it, his hands pressed to his eyes, desperately trying to stop the tears stinging his eyes.
Kate keeps a quick pace as she strides down the streets of New York. She feels trapped, those FBI agent's words echoing in her head with Castle's confirmation of them. Her skin feels tight, like her muscles are trying to burst though it. She can feel the rough texture of her wedding dress brush her arms as she runs, the contrasting feel of the cold water and excruciating heat from the fire against her skin. She hates flashbacks. For her, that's the worst part of having PTSD. As if experiencing it once wasn't enough, her brain had to take her back to that dreaded day with intense clarity. Her pace quickens to a sprint. She needs to escape it all, to get away. Before she knows it, she's outside her old apartment complex.
She knocks on the door. That still felt odd to her, even after all this time. This was her home for so long, and for the time she grew the most.
The door opened, and the familiar face looked at Kate is surprise. "Kate?" She asked.
"Hi Sophia."
The two women make their way into the living room. Sophia begins to clean up some clutter from the couch and coffee table.
"I'm sorry to barge in like this." Kate says. "I was just clearing my head and ended up here."
"Don't worry about it! You're always welcome here Katie, you know that."
The use of her childhood name brings a small smile to her face. "Thank you."
"Why don't you sit, I have something I want to give you and then you can fill me in on what's going on."
Kate began to protest but before she could get a word out Sophia had disappeared to the bedroom.
Kate looked around the familiar space, her eyes falling on the closed shutters by the window. She walks up to them, her hand brushing over the slats. She opens them, revealing the empty space inside. Her mind flashes to Castle's face plastered across the wood surrounded by collages of news paper articles with headlines telling the world he was nowhere to be found. She takes a deep breath, trying and failing to stop the tears from falling. Her panic has now morphed into heartbreak and unimaginable sadness. She closes the shutters carefully and moves to sit on the couch.
Sophia re enters the living room and approaches the couch holding an object in her hands. Sitting down, she grabs a box of tissues sitting on the coffee table and hands them to Kate. She speaks quietly as to not startle her cousin.
"What's going on Kate?" She asks.
"I-" She pauses, trying to steady her voice. "I can't really talk about it."
"Is it Castle?" Sophia asks. "Is he hurt?"
"No, no." She says quickly. He's fine. Just um. You remember how he disappeared right before our wedding?" Sophia nods. "Well, he just learned what really happened while he was gone and-" She takes a deep breath, steadying herself as more tears fell from her eyes. "It just wasn't what I was expecting."
"Oh Kate. I'm so sorry." She says as she hugs her cousin. She pulls away and turns the object in her hand over. "I know this probably isn't the right time for this but, I found this the other day, stuffed in the back of the bedroom closet. I was sure you'd just want to get rid of it but, I thought you should know."
Kate glances at Sophia, and then at the outdated cell phone in her hand. Taking it, Kate turns it over in her hands, instantly remembering why she had it in the first place.
"This is the burner phone Castle got me when we were on the run from Bracken. Everything with the wedding and Castle's disappearance happened so fast after that, I thought for sure I'd gotten rid of it."
She opens the phone, turns it on, and notices the small blinking light alerting the user to a voicemail. Confusion spreads across her face but quickly morphs into understanding as fresh tears sting her already sore eyes. Only one person would call that number.
"Thank you for this," She says as she slowly rises from the couch. "I need to get back to Castle."
"Of course." Sophia replies. "Everything will work out. It always does with you two."
Kate simply offers a weak smile in response and exits the apartment.
She stops just outside the closed apartment door, leans against the wall for support, and presses the play voicemail button. Castle's weak voice over the line is enough to send her sliding down the wall with a sob. He says only six words.
"Wait for me to come home."