A Frying Pan Can Mend It All

by LondonWitch

A/N: This is an absurd title, but I quite like it. This shall be a short story, probably only two or three chapters long. But it shall be a good one – I hope. I don't own these characters, or the claim of inventing the frying pan, but I do own the plot. You may only use my plot if you are J.K. Rowling, and you have to have at least four legal documents to prove it. :-)

Chapter One: "I Never Liked You, Anyway."

As it is, and has been for many, many years, girls are always much more mature than boys. Much more mature. So it wasn't any surprise to the entire student body of Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry that on Sunday morning, James Potter walked up to Lily Evans and stuck his tongue out at her.

"That was incredibly childish, Potter," Lily pointed out, having no clue as to why he was standing here with his tongue out at her. She had been having a rather important discussion with her friends Molly Prewitt and Sara Ashenbaum, about a very challenging Charms class, and wanted to get back to it.

"Yes, but it was fun, anyway, Evans. I see no reason why you should bore us all with your 'intellectual' conversations every morning. So I'm afraid I must put a stop to it. We have better things to do than to listen to you – like eating, so that we can get to our Quidditch games on time."

Lily just gave a great snort, and replied, "How is my talking going to affect your eating? I know that you still have a humongous mouth that will fit anything you shove into it, even if your brain is on letdown." She tossed her long mane of red hair over her shoulder, and turned back to her conversation and her plate.

James shoved her books off of the seat next to her and sat down. "Look at it this way, Evans. If no one can talk or hear over your chatterbox of a mouth, then how will Sirius know that I want him to pass me the butter and marmalade? I certainly can't eat my toast without my butter and marmalade."

Sirius was standing behind them, as he had walked over after James had sat down. "He's got a point there, Evans. Who would want to eat their toast dry?"

By now everyone in the Great Hall was watching them, and since everyone was there eating breakfast before the big Gryffindor/Ravenclaw Quidditch match, the whole school was hearing this. Several people laughed at Sirius' response, but Lily just said coolly as she glanced over to where they had been sitting with Remus Lupin and Peter Pettigrew, "I see that the bowl of porridge is right in front of your spot. Perhaps you should eat that instead."

Lily got a small round of applause for this, and in disgust, James and Sirius walked back to their seats. "Who does she think she is, that Evans?" James said, with a sarcastic tone, and a bit of haughtiness, "She doesn't see that I'm trying to IMPRESS HER! Hey, Evans! I never liked you, anyway!"

James' yell to of those last few words caused Lupin's head to snap up from the book he was reading, and Peter to come out of his daydream of being a half rat-half man. Even Sirius stopped staring at a tall brunette across the Hall.

"Why aren't any of you paying attention? We have a huge Quidditch match coming up and all you can think about is – hey, she does have a cute smile," James cut himself off as he glanced at the brunette that Sirius had been looking at. "But that's not the point. The point is that I am a star Seeker and a – erm – 'good' student, and she doesn't even think I'm worthwhile."

"She's a Muggle-born, Potter. What's so impressive about her?" Peter asked, tearing a pancake into small bits as he spoke.

"Who cares if she's a Muggle-born? That's not important!" James cried, throwing his hands up in anguish. "The important part is that she's pretty, she's nice to everyone but me and Snivellus Snape, and she's a good student. Did I mention that's she's pretty?"

Lupin sighed and started to go back to his book, but James pulled the hefty book out of his hands and said, "Now's not the time. Would you like to see my list of reasons why I like Lily Evans?" As Lupin began to roll his eyes, James pulled out a long piece of parchment from his robe pocket.

"Number one – she's pretty. Number two – she likes Honeydukes. Number three – she's pretty. Number –"

"ENOUGH! We all know she's pretty, James! Now are you going to play Quidditch or not?" Sirius said, indicating around them to the fact that everyone had already left for the pitch.

"Oh God!" James jumped out of his seat, hurriedly stuffed the lengthy list back into his pocket, and broke out into a run for the castle doors. Sirius and Pettigrew were laughing at him, and Lupin was trying to figure out why he was missing several feet of parchment from his History of Magic essay. They had literally been cut off.

"Oy! James! Did you use my essay for your list?! James! JAMES?!" Lupin yelled, running after him out of the Hall, through the front doors, and down the grounds to the Quidditch pitch.

A/N: Someone observing will notice something I mentioned in the second paragraph. If you spot it, let me know in a review. I always enjoy seeing how clever people really are. (Yeah, right.)