You guys Reviewed enough for it, so here it is. My little Han – Jordi Sibling luv one shot. The idea for this came because, well I'm a girl so these things happen to me often, It was more for my own amusement but I thought I should share anyway. So here you go enjoy! Please leave a review so I know I haven't completely lost my mind.
Disclaimer: I don't own anything, just Jordi, and this stupid little idea Also, An awesome cookie if someone can spot the Non-Star Wars reference to another awesome Sci-Fi thing.
Han Solo & The Puberty Crisis
Jordan Solo groaned in pain as she turned over on her bunk in the Millennium Falcon's crew quarters. Her stomach was turning in knots and she winced. Thirteen years old and she felt like she was dying.
"This is the last time I ever let Han convince me to eat something from the Tardis Cantina!" she grumbled to herself.
Chewbacca poked his head into the room, (Are you feeling any better?) he asked in his native tongue.
Jordan looked to the familiar Wookiee and shook her head, "No, if anything it's gotten worse.."
(We're almost to Tattooine) The Wookiee howled, (We'll take you to a medic when we get there.)
"Thanks Chewie," Jordan said, almost pathetically as she turned over again. It was nearly impossible to find a comfortable position.
Chewbacca looked at her sympathetically before he left to go back to the Cockpit, giving Han an update on her condition.
"It should be a crime to hurt this bad." she said to herself, getting up, stumbling towards the refresher, leaning on the wall for support.
After doing what she needed to do, Jordan was about to pull everything back up to get dressed and retreat back to the bed, before she noticed something that shouldn't be there. Blood. Her eyes widened, and she quickly rushed to get dressed, running towards the cockpit, scared.
"Han!" She half screamed, half yelled when she reached the cockpit.
Han turned around, his finger twisting in his ear to sooth the ringing from her scream, "What?"
"I.. There.. Blood!"
"What are you talking about?" Han looked at her confused.
"I'm bleeding!" She cried frustrated, tears welling in her eyes from fear.
"From where?" Han asked concerned.
Jordan turned red, "I.. there." She emphasized pointing down.
Han's eyed widened as he realized just what was going on. "I.. it's completely normal-"
"Normal? Have you ever bled from your nether region?"
"For girls, it's normal for girls," Han said making her sit down. He sighed trying to think of how to explain it. He was not good at this. He was a guy and he wasn't supposed to be explaining these things. "It.. means you're a woman now."
Jordan blinked at him confused, "A woman?"
Han growled, running a hand through his hair, "It's.. I.. you're gonna have a baby."
"What?"
"Not now! I mean, eventually, your body is ready to make one.. it. This is not helping is it."
"Not in the slightest." She looked at him.
Han hugged her awkwardly. "We'll, get this sorted out." He said, trying to make her feel better.
She clung to him as Chewie piped in.
(We've reached Tattooine) he said gesturing out the cockpit window to the sandy planet.
Han pulled away from Jordan, "Just, relax, and stay calm." He turned back to the ships controls, getting
permission to land in Mos Eisley.
Jordan sat back in the seat, shutting her eyes as another wave of pain shot through her stomach. She held onto the arm rests as the Corellian Freighter passed through the Atmosphere of Tattooine with a rough shake before settling over the docking bay.
"Come on," Han said, getting out of his seat once they landed, "We're going to get a transport to Anchorhead."
"Anchorhead?" Jordan asked, they'd only gone there once or twice before. "What's in Anchorhead?"
"Someone who can help us," Han said.
Jordan looked to Chewie, who howled before they both followed him. It didn't take long for them to book passage on the transport, and it barely took an hour's time before they reached the small city. Han lead the way through the streets, Jordan and Chewie followed, assuming Han knew what he was doing.
A group of teens not much older than Jordan ran by, laughing. Two guys, with a girl carrying something, were running away from two more boys. One looked older than the other with dark hair, and the blond boy struggled to keep up.
"Guys give it back to him!" The dark haired one called to the three running in the lead.
"If Wormie wants it he's gotta get it himself!" The biggest of the three called.
"Yeah, come on Wormie!" the girl laughed brown hair flying behind her as she ran faster.
The one called Wormie nearly ran smack into Jordan, his blue eyes looked at her quickly in apology,
"Sorry!" he said.
"It's okay," Jordan smiled, watching him rush off after the others. Half wishing she could play around like that once in a while.
"Come on," Han said before he turned towards a small Cantina, with a sign out front that said "The Weary Traveler". Jordan turned her attention away from the retreating teens and back towards her brother.
"I don't think now's the time for a drink Han." Jordan insisted, she was uncomfortable and wanted to know just what was going on.
"I'm not getting a drink," He said, leading them inside.
"We're closed right now; we open up in an hour." A woman's voice called from the bar.
"Fi, I need your help." Han said, knowing just who it was.
"Han Solo! We'll I'll be, haven't seen you in these parts in some time." A young voluptuous blonde stood up, turning around. She was no older than 23 and was wearing a dancer's outfit, leaving very little to the imagination, and her hair was held back out of her face by beads
(You brought her to a stripper?) Chewbacca asked his friend in disbelief.
"She's not a stripper, she's a dancer, there's a difference."
(What would that be?)
Fi smirked, "I keep my clothes on while I dance."
Jordan giggled. Fi's eyes fell on Jordan and she smiled.
"This can't be your sister," she insisted, "She was just this high, last time you were here." Fi said, gesturing to her tiny waist.
"It's still her, that's why I'm here."
"What do you mean?" Fi looked from Han to Jordan. Jordan blushed, suddenly feeling on display, as Han leaned towards her.
"She started her.. thing.." Han whispered quietly.
"Her what?" Fi asked, thinking for a second before it hit her, "oh! Her thing." Fi smirked looking to Han, "Don't know how to handle it, Solo?"
Han shook his head, "You're the best woman I know that could explain it." He flashed his 1000 Watt smile.
Fi rolled her eyes, "Sweet-talking me isn't going to do anything, Solo. I'm going to help her, Woman to Woman."
Fi put an arm around Jordan, "Come on sweetheart, I'll get you fixed up, don't let a man do a woman's job, ever." She said leading her to her dressing room, "Especially Han Solo."
Jordan laughed.
"I heard that," Han called after them.
"Good! You were supposed to!" Fi smirked as they disappeared into the back rooms.
After Fi had explained everything, and Jordan had gotten fixed up properly, everything was much easier to understand. Jordan hugged Fi as they headed back out into the now open Cantina.
"Thanks again Fi," Jordan smiled.
"Anytime sweetheart, if you need any other help, don't hesitate to send me a communication." Fi hugged the young girl tightly.
"How'd it go?" Han asked coming over to them. Chewie remained at the bar with a drink.
"It went fine Solo, everything's taken care of. We had the Sex talk too so you don't have to explain where babies come from either." Fi smirked.
Han flushed, shifting his feet as he ran a hand through his hair, "Well.. Good." Han thanked Fi. "I owe you one."
"You always owe me one, Solo." Fi teased.
"Don't push your luck." Han said, before he looked to Jordan "Ready?"
Jordan nodded, "Whenever you are, Captain." She grinned. "Bye Fi."
"Bye Sweetheart, take care."
"Bye Fi," Han said, putting an arm on Jordan's shoulder before they headed out, Chewie paying their tab.
"Han, do me a favor." Jordan said as they headed for the door.
"What's that?" Han looked down at her, as an older man with a graying beard and faded cloak passed by them. His eyes studying the siblings briefly before he smiled and took a seat at the bar.
"If you have a daughter, don't even try to have those conversations with her. Let me do it."
Han laughed, "Agreed." Jordan laughed with him, as they headed back to the transports.
And so that was the lovely little Solo Sibling one shot, Like I said, it was silly, but I hope you all enjoyed it, and please leave me a review. If this is your first time reading about Jordan & Han, you should check out the continuation of the story. Life as a Smuggler's Sister, & check out the accompanying facebook page for LaaSS Too. I love you all greatly – Jordi Solo.