Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto or any of its charaters... (Good thing too, I'd probably make them do crazy porn related things all the time... probably yaoi stuff non-stop... although, maybe that wouldn't be that much of a bad thing, would it?)
(A/N) Erm - Before anyone kills me, I must say that I edited everything and I'm making this story before sooo... Yeah. Please don't kill me? Pwease! Sorry it took so long! I had to over look through a lot of crap and I noticed I use the "..." thing too much. I was getting ticked off with all the dots! Hell, I thought I was going to go insane (more insane than I already am, which I thought to be impossible)! Grr, before I shank a random person (with something pointy, or piece of paper, I'm not sure how or why) I'm gonna go and finish... My random editing that I hope you guys won't be angry about... -nervous laugh- I love you guys! -runs away-
Sasuke: Hn. Does that mean I'll have to take over?
... -hears frantic squeaking-
Damn. Alright, enjoy the crappy story.
Chapter 1: The Tight Ass That Got Away
Oh dear sweet baby Jesus...
Yeah, that's exactly what I thought as I stood there like an idiot. You might say I sound stupid for thinking something like that but lets just say what I saw really surprised me. Since, I was staring at a wet and naked Naruto...
Exactly.
Wow...
I stared at his well-toned and tan body, and just wondered why I never noticed that Naruto was actually hot.
Then all of a sudden a flustered Naruto grabs the nearest hard object and throws it right at my face. "Stop staring you shameless perverted bastard!" he yelled at me.
Before I could even react I found myself on the floor and on my back, my nose bleeding. I feel dizzy...and wonder about what just happened.
"That's what you get!" Naruto yelled as he closed the bathroom door shut, blushing.
I sat up slowly and shook my head, as I tried to get up and regain my neutral and careless image. But it's a bit hard, since well I'm a bit hard.
Fuck! No, no, no! Why the hell and I - Wait no! I'm not... I'm not hard! I'm simply... uh - It's my hormones! Yeah! That's it! It's my hormones... of course.
Then the image of a butt naked Naruto pops into my head. I bash my head into the wall, feeling sick.
"Knock it off asshole!" Naruto shouted from the other side of the door. "Just go to school already dammit! I can go by myself!"
"Whatever..." I heard myself say. I then ran the fuck out of there. As soon as I got out of Naruto's apartment I headed to our school and just tried to focus and forget what I had seen. I then began to drool a bit.
Fuck!
I slapped myself and wiped my drool away.
Why the hell do I have this urge to just - No, no, no! There's no way in hell that I'm falling for that dumbass!
I'm Sasuke Uchiha dammit! I'm the top student of my class, and the most popular guy in school! There's simply no way I could possibly ever want to fuck Naruto! No matter how delicious, cute or...sexy he is.
I started to drool again and slapped myself, then repeated the words: Big juicy breasts, In my mind, until I got to school, I sighed angrily as I noticed my fan girls were rushing towards me. Hearts in their eyes, and as usual...willing to get fucked by me. I ignored them, and just went into the school building and headed for my first class as the bell rang. I sat in my usual seat, in the middle row by the window. I looked out the window, and saw the blonde haired male trying to pull up his pants, tie his shoes and fix his shirt and backpack all while hopping and running towards the building's entrance.
"Idiot" I mumbled. Then I noticed that his shirt was unbuttoned. His bare chest and abs were visible. My eyes widened and I gulped as I quickly looked away and began to tap my foot, as I tried to concentrate on other things, anything really.
Uh... Damn, the windows are so dirty I can't see through them. Crap, uh... Well I wonder how many pieces of gum are stuck under my desk!
I desperately looked under it. But just as I tried to count them, I found that I couldn't concentrate again and my mind began to wander right back to Naruto. And just as I slumped over my desk wanting to sleep - thinking that maybe that would help - Kakashi-sensei slammed a book on my desk. I shot up, looking around, alarmed.
"I would appreciate it if our famous Pretty Boy Uchiha would pay attention in class, or at least bother to not get caught sleeping" Kakashi said coldly.
I glared at him. "How about you get off my back? And since when am I 'Pretty Boy Uchiha'? What kind of a pervert with no life comes up with a nickname like that?" I asked, irritated.
He glared at me, but just as he was going to show me some attitude, Naruto barged into the class panting and fixing his shirt.
"S...Sorry, I'm late" he panted.
"Well, nice to see you've finally made it to class Mr. Uzumaki. Maybe now you can learn something... If that is even possible of course" He said harshly, signaling for Naruto to sit down at a desk.
We both growled at him, pissed off. But Naruto sat down regardless.
Kakashi ignored us and headed back to the front of the class to lecture us and the class.
What the hell's up with this asshole? I've never gotten along with his porno-addicted ass, but he's never pissed me off this bad. I bet he got stood up by his gay lover. Kakashi you fucking bastard. Man whore. Jack ass. Douche. Douche bag. Pervert. Child Molester. Sex offender. I hope you get fired after the school finds out you've been harassing and fucking your male stu -
That's when the image of me fucking Naruto doggy style popped in my head.
I blushed and instinctively smashed my head down and onto the desk - making a loud BAM - breaking the silence of the students and teacher.
"Is something wrong Mr. Uchiha?" Kakashi asked, raising his visible eyebrow.
"No. It's nothing. I - " I hesitated, still having my head down. "I - uh... saw a fly... and um... tried to kill it... with my head".
There was an awkward silence, and I swear to God that I could hear crickets in the background.
"Do you need to go see the nurse?" Kakashi asked, a bit worried.
"No...I'm alright" I said.
As you can probably guess. I feel really stupid right now. Scratch that, I feel like the stupidest person alive. Why the hell did I say that? I mean, when I finally looked up, Naruto's dumbass just stared at me, with a what-a-dumbass look on his face.
The same face I do to him all the time actually.
I glared at him, he glared back, I scowled, he pouted and just turned around.
Dammit, this is all Iruka sensei's fault. He was the one that told me to go pick up Naruto so he could get to school on time! Now, because I went I can't get the image of Naruto's wet, naked and hot body out of my head!
I laid my head back down on my desk. I grabbed and ripped at my hair.
No, no, no! GET OUT, GET OUT, GET OUT! I can't believe this, I keep imagining myself just fucking rapping him!! I need to think of something else! Um - Dead puppies, dead puppies, dead puppies!
I begin to tap my foot loudly.
Fuck not working!!
Oh...
dear...
sweet...
baby...
Jesus...
I look down at my pants and see that I'm extremely hard.
FUCK! I can't believe this is happening! You might say this is perfectly normal for someone my age, a 17-year-old and still a virgin, but it's not! Since while 'normal' guys are too busy giving themselves hand jobs and jacking off to porno they stole from their dads (from under their side of the mattress or some other stupid hiding place), I on the other hand am too busy reading a fucking book and actually getting smarter!…
Alright, alright, you caught me. I don't get smarter since I'm usually reading Icha Icha Paradise…
But at least I don't jack off to it!
Alright, I've jacked off before but can you blame me, I'm 17 and a damn virgin!
I have a lot of willing partners but Eww they all annoy the hell out of me and I just hope they'd die! I always wanted to screw someone I just wasn't sure who. But now I know. Great, and out of everyone, I end up getting hard over Naruto. This really sucks, not only am I gay, but the guy I want to fuck senseless hates my guts. And I think he's finally starting to notice the one girl that's head over heels in love with his dumbass. Yeah that's right, it's Hinata Hyuga. Honestly, she's the only girl I wouldn't love to slap the shit out of since she doesn't stalk or piss me off in any way. And unlike my retarded fan girls; she actually has a life and a great body to boot. I never would have guessed that that shy little girl would end up having the best breasts and body shape I have ever seen on an17 year old. Well, maybe I could have guessed, but I wouldn't have thought I would be right. In any case, if it weren't for the fact that Naruto turns me on and that I want to just fuck him mercilessly, I'd probably end up wanting to tie Hinata up to my bed and just -
Oops, getting off topic. Anyways, Naruto's actually started noticing her. Frankly, it's only because her breasts are like two huge melons but at least she's getting noticed. Although, for the first few weeks (months actually) Naruto would drool all over himself. Wait, he still does that actually... Barely last week his jaw had dropped open and drool began to flow out as he saw Hinata playing basketball. She had a tight top, so you can guess what Naruto was staring at. Um - Well, to be honest, we were both drooling. I mean, come on, she was running around, with that shirt, her -
Fuck... I'm off topic again. Well, in any case, they've become pretty good friends.
All of a sudden, someone hits me with a textbook or something on the back of the head, just as I was lifting it up, causing me to slam it back down on my desk. I growled feeling annoyed and a bit of a headache.
"Wake up pervert. The bell's about to ring." I heard a familiar voice say with an emotionless tone.
I tried not to blush as I looked up at Naruto and glared at him. "Stop calling me a pervert you dumb ass!!" I yelled at him faking an angry tone.
Naruto's glare hardened.
My glare hardened also as I turned my body to face him appropriately.
"Naruto! Stop glaring at Sasuke-kun!" my retarded pink haired fan girl Sakura shouted as she punched Naruto on the back of the head. But because of the angle and force of the blow, Naruto was forced forward. But just as we were going to 'accidentally' lock lips Naruto leaned his forehead forward. Bashing his forehead into mine, he felt a bit dizzy and fell onto my lap. He then gripped my shoulders tightly, trying to analyze what just happened.
I stared into Naruto's eyes, realizing how close we were, and that if he had sat just two inches closer he would have known just how hard I was. However, he would have made it worse since he would have rubbed and pressured our groins together.
Naruto froze as he just sat there on my lap, his legs wide open, his tan face and cheeks a faint red color, and just staring at me.
Crap! Holy fucking shit! Somebody please get this dumbass the hell off of me! He's blushing and looks adorable up close, and... and... he's on my lap! Someone please get him the hell off me before I strip him butt naked and fuck him until he can't stand up!... Wait...WHAT THE FUCK AM I SAYING?! EVERYONE YOU BETTER NOT INTERRUPT THIS MOMENT OR I'LL KILL YOU! I'LL CUT YOU OPEN AND SHOW YOU YOUR GOD DAMN INTESTINES AND -
Sorry, I got a bit off track again...
But I'm not kidding, I really will kill them... just like Sakura when she yanked on Naruto's collar screaming, "NARUTO! GET THE HELL OFF OF SASUKE!"
A gagging type noise came out of Naruto's mouth as Sakura pulled on Naruto's collar. He was now holding the collar of his shirt and panting a bit, trying to breath again.
"Leave him alone Sakura!" I snapped at her, knowing that she was ruining the moment. "Maybe if you stop trying to strangle him and get the fuck away he'll get off me."
Sakura got a disgustingly dreamy look on her face and quickly released Naruto's collar and backed away a bit. But Naruto just stared at me, wide eyed and surprised about something. I couldn't help but grin.
"Don't tell me you actually want to stay on my lap." I heard myself say as I raised an eyebrow.
Naruto turned a bit red. "Of course not! I'm just surprised your gay ass is blushing!" Naruto said.
"Shut the hell up." I hissed, knowing that I was blushing an even darker color now. "You're the dumbass that doesn't want to get the fuck off me."
"Um, Naruto-kun, Sasuke-kun, is everything alright?" I heard a shy Hinata ask.
"Tell this bitch to get the fuck off me." I said as I turned to Hinata.
"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING BASTARD!" Naruto shouted.
"Please Naruto-kun, leave Sasuke-kun alone, I - I - I bet - he - he didn't mean i - it." Hinata pleaded shyly.
"No, I meant it." I said flatly.
Naruto growled at me and punched me on my right cheekbone, forcing my head to hit the window. "YOU COCKY SON OF A BI-" Naruto tried to shout at me, but I punched him in his gut, knocking the wind out of him.
"Try that again and you'll be sorry." I warned.
Naruto glared at me and head butted me on the forehead.
I could feel my head spin, or maybe it was the room? Either way, I got dizzy. I then grabbed Naruto's neck and chocked him a bit.
He jerked back, trying to escape my grip. But I didn't let him. Next thing I know, we're on the floor and I'm sitting on Naruto's lap as I punch him.
"Sasuke...it's not right to try to rape people." I heard Kiba say by my left side as he stood next to Hinata who was trying to get me off of Naruto.
"You fucking pervert! I'm not raping anyone! I'm trying to beat the shit out of this dumbass!" I snapped as I glared at a grinning Kiba, faking as much anger as I could. Naruto took this as an opportunity to punch me in the gut. I gasped for air as I leaned forward.
"You son of a bi-" I tried to say as I glared at Naruto about to strangle him, but Kiba grabbed me by the back of the neck and forced me to kiss Naruto.
Naruto's eyes widened, he then tried to move but I had him pinned down too well.
I tried to jerk back, as if 'wanting' to break the kiss but Kiba held me down.
I NEVER THOUGHT I'D SAY THIS (not that I'm saying it in the first place) BUt THANK YOU KIBA! THANK YOU! THANK YOU! THANK YOU, YOU PERVERTED COCKY BASTARD!
I was trying to act as disgusted and surprised as I could but then I closed my eyes and opened my mouth as I licked at Naruto's bottom lip.
Bright cerulean eyes widened even more as their owner began to squirm, trying to get away from me. I then pinched Naruto's nose closed so he was forced to open his mouth, gasping to get some air. I shoved my tongue down his throat and explored his mouth, but Naruto now had his right arm free and punched me in the ribs as he pushed me off of him.
I grabbed my ribs as I slowly got to my feet. I turned and left leaving a shocked Sakura, Kiba, Hinata and Naruto behind. The bell rang as I walked out the door. I went to my next class, knowing that I had screwed everything up. Naruto hated my guts as it was, and he still probably felt uncomfortable about me seeing him naked, now to top it off I kissed him.
I sighed angrily as I got to my next class.
Shit... This was just a fucking great day wasn't it?!
Hurray! I finished the editing for Chapter 1! And the new title is thanks to my friend Edgar... Thank him! Please Review! I need support to keep editing and writing... -sniff-