Disclaimer: I do not own Bleach; genius Kubo Tite does.
--
I wanted to kill the bastard and get it over with, or that was perhaps the initial reaction. In the first place, I didn't know what rescuing him or keeping him alive would do, except that I'd be the constant receiver of his undying curses, with good reasons, but I did exactly just that anyway. And I had thought I had decent IQ.
"What the hell do you want this time?"
The rain was fierce, with not the slightest indication of subsiding within a couple of hours, in the very least. He was soaking wet, his hair limp from the water, yet all the same no amount of moisture could wipe away the resentment in his face; not that water could literally do that, duh.
"Where do you think you're going?" I asked.
"So I really owe you my life, don't I?"
"I simply wanted to make sure you wouldn't go around murdering people."
"If that's my savior's wish, I'd oblige. You have my word, shinigami." Grimmjow Jaggerjack told me. It wasn't nearly an assurance as a death threat was. If anything, he was mocking me, yet all he did, from what my observation could tell, was to contort his face in such a way so befitting the murderous bastard that he was.
Didn't wanna admit it, but he was dishy as hell when he pulled that facial expression.
"Know what, cut this out. It's difficult for me as it is for you, so why don't you just behave and try to be good for once."
"Good? Well, that's something that hasn't been asked of me for a while."
"I'm pretty serious, Grimmjow."
"And so am I. Stop following me."
That was when I realized I'd been making a pretty good despo out of me. It wasn't right to tolerate behavior of this sort. But what else could be done if a bastard was doing his best to get out of your sight and fulfill all the wrong tendencies he had in him, granted you weren't allowed to render him six feet under?
"Just tell me what you're up to."
He paused. It was like some sick prank of destiny in doing what it could to make me a total jackass. I didn't mean to impose myself on him. In fact not on anyone. But, no, this was something I had to do if I was truly a champion of the good and all the shit Shinigami duties stood for. Back to Grimmjow; he was staring at me for quite a number of uncomfortable seconds, mind you.
"You killed him. I'm not gonna go easy on that."
Somewhere at the part of exchanging blank looks, I started to feel like he was getting seriously irritated so that I could only curl my brows for the lack of logic of it all.
"Who?"
"You bastard. You killed him and now there's nothing…dammit, why am I explaining? Just fuck off."
Now I was pissed, but before I could dole out some indignities, he took off, leaving me out in the rain. Well, if I tried to follow him, two things could happen. First, nothing. Second, I'd be made to look idiotic one last time for the go. So having just taken failure to a new level, I headed back to the quarters. And then things began to dawn on me. I killed quite a number of fellas, looking back…
Was he referring to Ulquiorra? Most importantly, was he mourning for him?
Now this was getting funny. I murdered the bastard, alright, wanted him dead with all the strength of my soul, with all the honesty a teenage dude like me could produce in a lifetime. Would you believe? I was, after all, entirely capable of honing homicidal musings, perhaps for later enactment. Now to get to the funny part; I defeated Ulquiorra, and along with the triumph came the consequence of, say, having saved the damsel, Inoue. Heroic? Maybe not. But most definitely not less than your regular show of valor. And then there was Grimmjow, bleeding all over the place, literally. I saved the bastard, took him to safety, suppressed the gushing blood to maintain what life he had left, and… perhaps I didn't know what I was doing back then. Bottom line; I took care of the villain, rescued a fallen enemy out of what you might call compassion, to earn myself the title Messiah. So, more or less, I saved the fucking day.
Having done all these, later in the afternoon just when I was starting to wake up to the thought that I had staged out there two grand acts of perfect heroism, I ended up being the grandest jerk in the lives of two Arrancar, one of which was dead. Why, why in fucking hell was I being made to feel like shit after the charity I had rendered to the world?
Depending on whom I might suggest this to, Grimmjow Jaggerjack, the heartless ingrate, had probably been in love with his fellow Arrancar, who, as mentioned, was roaming beneath the soil because of me.
Now why was my heart getting tighter? It wasn't guilt--I was positive about that-- but I sure hoped it wasn't more than guilt.
Did I rescue Grimmjow for reasons other than sheer hypocrisy or some glorious commendation from the righteous authorities of Soul Society? Was I, in some sick joke of providence, fated to sympathize with this brute and feel his pain, if he was indeed hurting? Wasn't I already feeling it---the pain itself?
Either way, this was starting to hurt…
TBC