I've been meaning to write something like this for months now, but life keeps getting in the way. It's kinda AU in that I've chosen to ignore the whole afterlife aspect. I think it's much more interesting to look at it as another life and see where things can go from there. Undecided so far if it's just going to be a oneshot or not.
The Trick Is To Keep Breathing
"Kiss me James," she choked out through a shaky laugh and they were quite possibly the best three words he'd heard in his life. Well this life at least. What the hell was happening to them? That was a question for later though. Right then he only had one response on his mind.
"You got it, Blondie" He smiled and kissed her like he'd never kissed her before. Maybe he hadn't. If that were true, then why did it feel like the most natural thing in the world? He felt cool hands on his face and instinctively deepened the kiss, hands on the small of her back and pulling her as close to him as possible. He breathed in her familiar scent, even this wasn't enough and he could tell as her hands continued to roam over his skin that she felt the same. Reluctantly, the necessity to breathe forced him to pull away so he settled for holding her close once more, stroking her hair as she wordlessly settled into the crook of his neck. The feel of the silken strands under his fingertips had a soothing effect on him – they always had. He'd thought he'd never get to touch her hair again.
"I got you baby," he murmured again soothingly as she struggled to get her sobs under control. He felt her tighten her grip on him briefly before pulling back to look him in the eye.
"I'm sorry, James. I'm so sorry." He shook his head and reached out to tenderly brush away the remnants of her tears.
"Don't be. You ain't got nothin' to be sorry for." She raised a brow slightly and he could tell she wasn't convinced.
"We both know if I hadn't overreacted to you looking at Kate..."
"That damn island would have found some other way to screw with us, Kate or no Kate." He interrupted with vehemence . "I'm sorry that for even one second I caused ya to think I wouldn'ta
picked you over her." He grabbed her hands to punctuate his words. "It's always you, ya hear me?"
He held his breath as she silently looked deep into his eyes, before sliding her gaze to the side in contemplation. To his relief she nodded, tears welling up in her eyes again as she moved towards him once more and into his arms. He sighed as they clung to each other, in reassurance as much as anything else. For a few moments they were content to just rock gently in the darkness to the hum of the vending machines as they both tried to make sense of what was happening.
Suddenly he felt her stiffen slightly and mumble something unintelligible into his shoulder.
"Huh?" He pulled away to look at her in question. She wouldn't meet his eyes.
"Jack," she repeated in confusion and it was his turn to stiffen as his blood ran cold at the name.
"Sorry ta break it to ya, sweetheart," he drawled, "but he ain't here. Looks like yer stuck with me." His crack was only half in jest. It suddenly dawned on him that it was Jack that had directed him here not ten minutes ago. Now Juliet was wringing her hands and looking anywhere but at him in a manner decidedly unlike her. His mouth went dry as his gaze darted to her hand. It was bare, but still – something wasn't right.
After what felt like an eternity, she visibly composed herself and smiled nervously at him. She cocked her head to the side, indicating the empty waiting room chairs beside them and reached out for his hand.
"Let's sit. I need to tell you something. This is all so... bizarre. Where do we start making sense of it all?" He could only shrug helplessly in response as he mutely followed her lead and took a seat. She still had a firm hold of his hand, lacing her fingers through his as she cradled it tenderly in her lap. He hoped this was a good sign.
"I have a son." James involuntarily sucked in his breath at her revelation. That, he had not been expecting. His poker face must have deserted him, because hers materialised as she looked away. "He's fourteen," she continued softly, her voice barely above a whisper. If he thought he couldn't have been any more surprised at her first admission, the second well and truly proved that to be wrong. He'd immediately assumed she was talking rugrat sized – not a kid on the cusp of adolescence. Jeez the things he'd gotten up to at fourteen hardly bore thinking about! How the hell would he go about winning over a teenager?
He felt her start to withdraw her hand from his and he realised he'd been silent for too long. Tightening his grip, he refused to relinquish his hold and quickly reached out to tenderly tuck a strand of hair behind her ear. Once regaining her focus, he smiled reassuringly.
"You must be so happy," he stated warmly. "This whole... whatever the hell this is, it's crazy but it seems this lifetime has been much kinder in giving us what we've always wanted."
"How so?"
"Well, by some miracle I'm a cop," he grinned, "and you're a mother." He was rewarded with a slow smile that lit up her eyes, the unshed tears that still remained glistened in the half light.
"And now I've met you," she supplied. "Again."
"This time ya didn't even have'ta tazer me." He smirked and bumped his shoulder gently against hers. "I can't wait to meet him. Not if he's anything like his mom." The last was exactly what she had needed to hear and she relaxed fully once more, leaning into his side. "Who I have to say, for the mom of a teenage son, looks smokin' in that dress."
"Stop it," she admonished, her head now resting on his shoulder. He could no longer see her face, but could hear the smile in her voice. "You really want to meet him?"
"Of course I do! He's your son. I like him already. Won't lie, I'm scared shitless at what he'll think of me, but still... I'm sorry if my reaction wasn't all that, took me by surprise is all but I get there eventually."
"I should warn you, he's already hit the teen angst and this will be a hell of a curve ball, so I won't blame you if like is too strong a word at first."
"What's his name?"
"David."
"Good strong name," he nodded. "I approve." She sat back up straight to look at him once more.
"Well that's a relief," she grinned with mild sarcasm, before sobering up once more. "Listen, there's something else I have to tell you. I'm sorry, but the shock of David will be nothing to this. I'm in shock. Please don't fly off the handle and remember that it's you I love, alright?" She took a deep breath and ran a hand distractedly through her hair. She was nervous once more.
"Well spit it out, Blondie."Another deep breath.
"The father..." she began and his mouth suddenly went dry again. Why hadn't his thoughts gone there? Of course the boy had a dad.
"Are you still with him?" He blurted out. He had to know. Could he handle it if she was?
"No, that's not..." she shook her head and squeezed his hand. "We've been divorced for over three years. That's not an issue, believe me. It's who... look there's no easy way of saying this, and of course you're going to overreact so... It's Jack." She closed her eyes, steeling herself for his reaction.
"Son of a bitch." He slumped back in his chair and the words were out of his mouth before his brain could even engage. He let go of her hand and ran his through his hair as the air left his lungs in one great whoosh.
Jack.
He'd completely forgotten his name had even come up as soon as she had told him about David. Of all the people in this crazy, twisted, screwed up existence. Momentarily oblivious to the fact that she was still in the room, he rose and started pacing in front of the vending machines. He therefore missed her worried expression as she followed his progress. She mentioned divorce so they must have been married. He felt sick. Here he was, somehow having lived two lives and after having to bury her broken body in the last, he finds she was married to Jack of all people in this one. Someone up there sure had a sense of humour.
"James?" Her soft voice roused him from his internal ranting and he turned to face her. Once she had his attention she gave a small helpless shrug. She was obviously struggling with these revelations too. He hated his next words but the masochist in him had to ask, he couldn't get round it.
"Did you love him?" his voice hoarse and barely above a whisper. She gave a rueful grimace and briefly glanced at her hands.
"Of course I did. I'm sorry, but I did," she shrugged once more. "We were married nearly ten years. Met in college, had David." She nodded – affirming herself more so than him it seemed. "I loved him. Does meeting you and knowing what I do now change any of that? No... maybe... I don't know what to think." He sighed and returned to his seat once more. Couldn't fault her for being honest he guessed.
"Why did you split up?" To this he received a wry arched brow.
"He's Jack. His work will always come first, he can't help it. We just drifted apart and it wasn't fair on David to carry on like that. It's been better this way. Some people just aren't meant to be together." Her words an unwitting echo of the ones she used a lifetime ago. He didn't know what to think, but looking at her and knowing what they'd been through, he knew he'd have to find a way past it somehow. Reaching to swing an arm around her shoulders, he leaned and dropped a kiss on her temple to let her know he was more than willing to try. Remaining in this position, lips to skin, they sat in silence for a few minutes, both lost in thought. A nurse passed by them in the hallway, tossing them a puzzled look.
""So you both still work here together?" Juliet moved away from him in surprise at his question.
"How did you...?"
"Realise now I passed him out in the hall. It was him that directed me to these vending machines. I'll have to thank him sometime." She smiled in amusement at this before settling back into his side.
"Who knows if he'll ever recognise you," she mused. "All these years together and we were both oblivious to everything. Yet I touch your hand once... kinda mindblowing."
"So will you now admit that we're meant to be together?" He looked down at her with a grin and she tilted her head so she could look at him with a roll of her eyes.
"Smug bastard," she smirked and closed the distance remaining to kiss him. He groaned slightly and immediately deepened it, clutching at her lab coat to pull her onto his lap. He felt her smile into the kiss and shift her position so she could straddle him. "I can see you're going to be bad for my reputation at this hospital," she murmured against his mouth.
"Absolutely," he responded with slight jerk of his groin to punctuate his intentions and triumphantly eliciting a shiver from her. "Unless you've got an office around here, Doc?" She outright laughed at this, leaning back to regard him with a lust-filled gaze. Before she could reply however, a buzzing noise emanated from within her lab coat and with a sigh she pulled her phone from her pocket. She looked at the screen and frowned.
"Hold that thought, it's David." She punched a button and slid off his knee to stand and take a few steps away whilst she answered it. "Hey sweetheart, how did it go?" Despite his frustration at the interruption, he watched her with admiration as she listened to her son on the other end. He had her back. She was a mother. It was what they had both wanted towards the end of their time with Dharma – he'd finally felt ready and willing to become a father – but fear about what happened to pregnancies and the fact they were stuck in the wrong decade had forced them to hold off. Now here she was chatting on the phone to her teenage son. He shook his head slightly in wonder. "He's not there? I saw him over half an hour ago and he said he was leaving to go get you, that's strange... I can leave now so sit tight and I'll come get you straight away, alright? Proud of you honey." She hung up and turned to face James once more.
"I have to go, Jack never showed up to get him." She shook her head in dismay and punched a number into her phone to make a call. The seconds passed and she eventually hung up once more. "No answer. He's a nightmare at times." She pocketed her phone and flashed him a hopeful smile. "Wanna come?"
A slow grin spread over his face as he nodded and rose with a stretch. He approached her and took her now outstretched hand, squeezing it. Leaning in close, he tenderly kissed her smiling mouth.
"Yeah," he whispered huskily. "I do." She nodded and hand in hand, she led him out to the second chance they had been given.