Unstoppable Death
Tag to SWAK: They have no choice but to allow themselves to resign to the fact that Tony's going to die.
A/N: I was watching SWAK again... It's the only episode that makes me cry everytime. Here's what some of them must have been thinking
Not till I have the body
I looked at the X-ray with grim determination. The plague had severely damaged Anthony's lungs and was continuing to do so. His lips and fingers were turning blue otherwise known as Cyanosis. It means that Anthony's body is being starved of oxygen by the Y-Pestis, the poor boy was being suffocated to death and nothing could be done. Anthony's continual coughing reminds us all of the unstoppable death that was just waiting at the door. It was sickening to think that no amount of coughing would save him from the ancient disease.
Of course its only too late when I have the body. My God, I haven't thought about that. Anthony could soon be lying on my table waiting for me to cut him open and assess the extent of damage that this had been done. Part of it felt unbelievable, it was so cruel that a healthy man could be reduced to this in under forty hours. Caitlin continued to talk with Tony but she and the nurse had trouble getting Tony to sit up as he entered another coughing fit, the worst so far. In just a matter of hours, Tony will be on one of his tables. There was no going back now.
Doctor Pitt ran inside to help clear the lungs. Were they only delaying the inevitable? Were the effects irreversible? The damage shown on the X-ray looked daunting and painted a very bleak picture. I saw Caitlin remove her mask and exited the isolation as soon as she was out she began crying and looking for comfort. All I could do was open my arms and wrap her up. Perhaps she was braver than all of us, she had risked her own life so that Anthony wouldn't go through this alone. I tell her how brave she is and patted her back, offering her the little comfort I could. Tears were welling up in my own eyes but I held them back. Caitlin needed me to be the rock for her right now while I can always cry later. She too had become to understand that we'll never see Anthony again.
He's dying Ducky
Of all the times Tony got on my nerves, of all the times he's mentioned his movies. I find myself wishing that I could take away his pain. Even when things turned darker and when I told him I was infected he was so sorry and the thought that he infected everybody made him worse than any sickness could. He progressively worsened. The lips and fingernails were turning bluish. I watched the nurse wipe the corner of Tony's mouth to remove the blood. Unlike any behavior expressed by Tony before he actually apologized for all those damn movie references. Don't do this to me! You're not going to lie there and give up. This isn't your deathbed Tony. I keep the mood light and told him I was tortured by it and he began rolling off the names of actors who played James Bond. God, it must be bad… He missed Timothy Dalton. There was something in his eyes, fear and concern. For the first time he noticed I still had my mask on. This was to prevent infection from Tony. I was there to show him that he doesn't have to die… If I could show him that it could be beaten even if it was a lie, he would pull through. Tony began to choking on phlegm, by now he couldn't lift himself up to cough it out. This was it, Brad ushered me out. Was this the point of no return?
I waited till the door opened and allowed me to exit the blue roomed isolation. It felt good to be under normal lights. But the realism hit hard and I couldn't help myself. My sobbing turned into fully crying, Tony was going to die, its not fair that he should be taken like this. Ducky waited there for me, his eyes were sad as well but he accepted me into his arms and allowed me to cry, trying to comfort me while he to must be burning up inside.
Is he sick yet?
We all knew that DiNozzo wasn't going to be a man that would die of old age. He was too reckless for that. As soon as Ducky said it was the plague spreadable by breathing it in, that was when I started looking at DiNozzo as a victim, a murdered victim. It was a possibility that I'd lose the damn kid but I sure as hell will get everybody responsible for this. I don't have time to mourn the upcoming loss at this time there'd be plenty of time for that.
Abby kept me grounded. If Tony was my son, she was my daughter. She always knows how to lighten the mood without crossing the line. But if she's hurting, she's not letting me know it. It wouldn't be too long till Tony would no longer be around. I can't bring myself to lose two children. How could I ever let DiNozzo know that he'd brought me from the brink of self harm? DiNozzo saved me and I reckon I saved him to. I don't think I've ever said that and now it's going to be mentioned as a eulogy all because I'd never been soft enough to let him know. Every single time he's been hurt I'd been able to help him through it but not now. All we can do is wait to hear the final word from the doctor. But right now we have a damn killer to catch.
As soon as I heard, I buried myself in the lab and got to work. If we could just find everything out, Tony would be ok. The plague was treatable by antibiotics but this was genetically altered. There was no hope for Tony really all we can do is catch the bitches responsible in honor of Tony's memory but he can't die like this, not by a disease that should have been eradicated. Thank God for Gibbs, I know he'd be there if I needed him and I'd be there for him. NCIS is a tight nit family and we'd get each other through this, I know that. Why'd it have to be Tony though? But I guess Tony wouldn't have wanted anybody else infected. He was my brother.
Is he going to be ok?
Of course he's not… Nobody can have the plague and be ok. Sweet turns to sour so quick, sweet that we're uninfected and sour because one person is. There wasn't anything I can do for Tony except pull records and contact people when needed. I'm not an idiot really… I blame myself, I had the letter in my hand. Tony should've never been able to get hold of it. How could I let this happen? Everyone was going to blame me for the death and I don't blame them one bit. I felt sick, what I wouldn't give for Tony to come through that door and call me Probie or even tease me again. Deep down, I'll miss that. He was obnoxious, petty and offensive but he was our Tony. God if he only knew that he was the one who kept everyone together. I wouldn't say he was a brother to me, maybe a cousin or a family friend.
Part II: How You Know When Things Are Looking Up (POV change)
Kate could have stayed in Ducky's arms even longer. He didn't say much, he didn't have to. Ducky rocked her side to side in swaying comfort. There wasn't much to say but it wouldn't stay inside. Kate voiced what everyone was thinking. "He's dying Ducky," she cried. It was inevitable now. They'd be saying goodbye to a dead person soon.
"Aw, the hell he is," Gibbs walked past without looking.
Kate turned her head around, she was still crying. The anger at Gibbs' words turned around quickly. If Gibbs of all people didn't believe that Tony was dying, then Tony mustn't be. She saw Ducky's expression change from teary eyed to a newfound hope. Dare they hope that Tony DiNozzo was going to beat the odds and recover? They watched Gibbs talk with Tony and even saw the older man smile before placing a phone in Tony's hand. He was going to be fine if Gibbs smiled.
POV change again
All the machines were taken out of isolation and Tony was sleeping peacefully on the bed. I couldn't believe the recovery that he had made, this time I was able to take the bed next to his. He looked so peaceful and quiet. I watched him breathe, there was still some discomfort. Damn, he truly can survive anything. I guess you can never bet against Tony DiNozzo.
"This reminds me of the ending of Aliens," Tony said.
I guess I asked for it… The torturing was beginning again but guess what? I don't care. Tony was back from death. It felt good to laugh at yet another movie reference and at the moment he was in the honeymoon period… He's allowed to mention any movie he wants to.