She holds Mac, the two of them sobbing into each others' arms. They sit there for a minute, an hour, an eternity. Their sobs are broken by sirens. Veronica knows what these sirens are for, but she cannot bring herself to pull away from Mac. Just in this moment, Veronica knows one thing. If there is anyone who has suffered at Cassidy Casablancas' hands anywhere near as much as herself, its Mac, her innocent and sweet friend, who just wanted a normal high school experience. Eventually Mac's sobs stop. Wordless emotion is not enough for her. Mac's fear and pain are turning to anger. She wants explanations and reasons. She doesn't realize that Veronica cannot allow herself to walk those roads yet. So when Mac pulls back to ask her questions, Veronica stands and moves aside. She is ready to run, her standard operating procedure when she is unable to deal. Before she can take off, her eyes lock with Logan's. And she sees a world of emotions in those eyes. And he sees exactly what she needs.
He steps forward offering Mac both his hands, one empty ready to help her up, the other containing a sweat suit he seemingly produced out of thin air. Mac's gaze travels from Veronica's shadowed face to Logan's insistent hands. She doesn't understand the shift that occurred, but she is eager to be clothed. She then tries her questions on Logan, for he seems to be the one she is now connected with. At first he ignores her angered pleas, but he follows her to the bathroom door, away from Veronica. As she goes to close the door, he drops his voice. Mac barely catches the hushed words, but a few phrases sneak through. She hears his name followed by words that don't make sense, "bus crash…Woody…the roof…a gun…dead…let it go…later" She wants to argue. She wants to demand he fill in the blanks and explain why the sequence of words she just heard sounded so much like her boyfriend was a mass murderer who committed suicide after trying to kill her best friend; that her boyfriend had a closet full of secrets that no one had known about.
More then that she wants to yell. She wants to turn the anger boiling in her stomach against those who are witness to her pain. She wants to hurl vicious words at Logan, who's eyes are filled with sadness, though it isn't all for her. She wants to scream at Veronica, who was the cause of her first fight with Cassidy. Most of all she wants to rage at Cassidy, but she doesn't know where to find him. So she takes the clothes and closes the door, and goes about trying to remember how to dress.
As soon as the door closes, Logan turns to Veronica. He approaches her slowly, not sure if she will collapse or take off. She slowly raises her eyes to his, searching for a million different things. Something must have calmed her because she reaches for him. This is the only invitation he needs and he envelops her. He does not ask for an explanation, though his mind holds more questions than Mac's. He does not offer empty reassurances because once upon a time she did the same. He holds her, letting her know that even if she feels it, she is not alone. They stand like that till they hear the creak of the bathroom door that announces Mac's reentry.
The anger she had reigned in behind the closed door bubbles to the surface. How dare they look so damn in love when she was just utterly humiliated and deserted? She opens her mouth to unleash the hot fury raging through her when she catches a glimpse of her friend's eyes. Normally, Veronica's eyes speak volumes. They are usually full of whatever emotion she is feeling, allowing one who knows her to gauge her mood instantly. Now though, they are unreadable. Not empty, but Mac can not name the emotion that corresponds with the storm she sees. It is this gaze that causes her words to die on her tongue.
Logan releases Veronica reluctantly, knowing that normally Veronica does not like to appear weak in front of others. But he refuses to drop her hand, positive she needs his strength as much as he needs the reassurance that she's still alive. He volunteers to drive Mac home. Desperate to be away from these two who don't understand her emotions and any reminders of this night, she agrees. She exits the room first and waits by the elevator for the couple. And she realizes once again, that is what they are. While she was being unquestionably dumped, Veronica and Logan had managed to find each other, once again. And a part of her hates them for finding their other halves. And a part of her envies them for sharing the same feelings. And a part of her pities them for experiencing the same pain.
The elevator ride is slow, and awkward. It throws her back to another elevator ride a few weeks and a million years ago. When the door opens into the lobby, they come face to face with Don Lamb. He looks both smug and uncomfortable, an odd pairing of emotions. Well well, where there's trouble, there's you two. Why am I not surprised?
Veronica does not even notice his words, her eyes fixed on the flashing lights seen through the glass doors. Logan steps in front of the two girls, protecting them from Lamb's stare. Not now. Please. Lamb is slightly taken aback by this approach. He'd expected sarcasm from both teenagers. The pleading tone in the younger Echolls' voice combined with the empty glaze in Veronica's eyes causes him to step back. We'll come to the station tomorrow. Logan gently takes Veronica's elbow and places a hand on Mac's shoulder, and walks away. Lamb stares after them. He recognized the look in Veronica's eyes. He'd seen it once before, two years ago. An innocent girl had come to him, expecting to find a man she'd come to call friend, and instead had found a cold-hearted bastard. He wonders if what had happened tonight has anything to do with the last time, and how it is possible for that look to seem so much more hopeless this time.
Logan sits Veronica in the back seat, allowing Mac to ride shotgun. He watches Veronica in the rearview mirror. She seems lost within her own mind, probably reliving the horrors of earlier. He knows that this is a bad idea, but he doesn't know how to stop her in front of Mac. It is bad enough Veronica had had to live it once this evening, to have her secret past and current pain put on display would be cruel. He leans toward Mac. Are you okay? She looks at him as if he is stupid. I know it's a dumb question, but what do you expect?
She throws a glance over her shoulder, I expect her to care she thinks to herself.
It's not gonna happen. Not tonight. Veronica's got her own pain this evening. She can barely focus on the last 4 hours, let alone spare any sympathy. What you got in the hotel room earlier, that was all you're gonna get from her.
Isn't that a little unfair, a little selfish of her? I thought she was supposed to be…
Don't go there. If you were her friend, you'd realize what you're seeing. However bad you think he hurt you, he hurt her worse. I guarantee it. They had arrived at her house I have to help her, you'll be okay? A nod. Okay, we'll pick you up around noon to go see Lamb. He's gonna want statements about tonight. He hesitates. If you need something…he leaves the offer hanging, unable to leave her with nothing but unwilling to commit to it. Mac gets out, walks to her door, and watches the car drive away. As she stands there, Logan's words are echoing in her head, he hurt her worse.
The drive from Mac's to Veronica's is short. Logan gets out of the car and walks around to Veronica's door. He opens it and helps her out. He sees the recognition in her eyes and feels the resistance in her slight body. He knows she is exhausted, physically beaten and emotionally scarred. Aware the last place she wants to be is her empty apartment, he leads her down the short path toward the beach. She collapses on the sand after only 3 steps. He sits next to her, pulling her close. I solved two tonight. He is both thrilled and shocked to hear her voice. He had expected this to be one more thing she internalized, but now that she's opened the door, he is sure as hell going to walk in. He would shoulder as much of this burden as possible.
Lucky wasn't the only one Woody molested. There were at least three kids on his little league team. Two of them were on the bus, they wanted to come forward. Cassidy couldn't have that. He arranged it all. Then he got rid of Curly Moran, to cover his tracks. This entire year, it's all Cassidy's fault. The crash, half a dozen lives, the heart broken families, the distraught friends, Duncan's daughter being motherless, my sleepless nights. All because Cassidy couldn't stomach anyone knowing his secret.
Veronica. What he did was wrong, but what Woody did to him…
No. Her voice breaks in that single syllable. That doesn't get to be his excuse, not for all of it. That plane tonight, he could have let Woody serve his time. He smiled when he made that call, mocked me as I tried to reach my father to say goodbye. Her breath hitches, the pain still raw. It may have started with Woody, but it turned into a game. He wanted to prove that he was a man. And he did that by causing others pain. He let all that pain from what Woody did fester and turn him into a monster. Her eyes find Logan's and he realizes she is no longer blaming Cassidy but trying to justify herself. He realizes she is going to explain the third accusation a second before she opens her mouth.
That night, at Shelley's party, as if he needed a qualifier. It wasn't Duncan. Or it wasn't just Duncan. He can hear the pain in her voice. No matter how long she lives, she'll never know exactly what happened that night. She'll never be able to say for certain whether she lost her virginity willingly to her ex or had it taken from her by a boy trying to prove he was a man. His heart breaks for her because of that. He lied to me before, said nothing happened. And like an idiot I believed him. I chose to believe the happiest version of that stupid night, hoping it would make everything better. But science doesn't lie. The STD from the trial? It was from him, from Woody. Logan's hands curl into fists. Once again he wants to physically harm the people responsible for the broken girl at his side. The fact that he can't only makes him hold Veronica tighter.
I'm broken, Logan, I'm not worth this. He looks at her, wanting to laugh at her words. She is worth everything to him, the only family he can claim, the only person who has a hold on his heart and the only girl he ever wants to touch again. Who wants to be around a black hole? My best friend was murdered. My mother abandoned me. I can't tell you how many guys I've slept with. My boyfriend left me. Half of Neptune wants me dead. And I can't let my suspicions go long enough to let anyone in. Everyone I care about winds up gone. There's too much pain. Why should I keep going?
He looks at her, hoping to convey the conviction in his words, the depth of his love. For me. She looks up, caught off guard by his sincerity. You're my other half, Ronnie. For every scar you have, I have one just as deep. No one will ever understand me the way you do. And I will never love anyone as much as I love you. Her semi-skeptical look brings a smile to his face. Shall we compare? You lost your best friend? I lost Lilly too. You're mother deserted you? So did mine. Duncan walked out of my life too. That part of Neptune that wants you gone? They feel the same about me. I'm just as alone in this world as you Veronica. The scars you have from that night at Shelley's? I'll see your claim and raise you the scars from Aaron. I'm broken too. But when I'm with you, I feel whole. When I'm with you, I can breath. Everyone's got baggage Ronnie; it just seems like I can match you bag for bag.
He sees in her eyes that she accepts this. The look he'd feared is gone. When they'd first sat on this beach, she'd been a mirror of him, that fateful night a year ago, when he'd stood on a bridge. The night where he'd thought the same thing, who wants to be around a black hole…who wants damaged goods? Now she shares another look with him. The one he'd had the morning after AlternaProm, when for a brief second he'd believed they might still have a chance. The single moment when he'd let himself believe he wasn't alone. He holds her close while she sobs, allowing her to release the venom from the events of the last year.
He'll sit with her here, till she can stomach entering her apartment. They have all night, there is nowhere he would rather be. He simply wants to hold her, and let her know that no matter what, she is not alone.