Introduction: I want to go HOME

I place my hands in front of my face and stare at my wrists. Dark blood drips from my hand to my the floor. The bloody razor, that came from my hands, drops to the floor. When it hits the ground, the sound repeats in my head. I walk to the bathrooms mirror, in the darkness and look at my appearance. My once sun-bleached long hair, becomes dirty blonde and short, just a little longer than my neck, my once beautiful blue eyes are hidden by the dark circles under them, my glowing peach skins becomes pale white. What have I become? I fall on my knees as burning flames of tears roll down my rough cheeks. Is this what I've become? A small, alcholic girl who's only interest is in PARTYS, BOYS, DRUGS, AND DRINKING!

A flashback ran in my mind....

"YOUR NOTHING BUT DUMB-ASS DRUNK!" my mother screamed at my face. "SEX, PARTYS, BOYS, DRUGS, YOUR FRIENDS! THATS ALL YOU CARE ABOUT! YOU USED TO BE A GOOD GIRL! YOU WERE BRIGHT, YOU WERE BEAUTIFUL, YOU HAD EVERYTHING IN THE WORLD, BUT YOU'VE WASTED IT! DOES YOUR FRIENDS TAKE CARE OF YOU? DOES YOUR FRIENDS FEED YOU? OH....YEA, THEY FEED YOU ALL RIGHT! THEY FEED YOU NOTHING BUT LIES AND...AND DRUGS! YOU'RE NOT MY DAUGHTER! YOU'LL NEVER BE MY DAUGHTER! I DISOWN YOU! YOU MEAN NOTHING TO ME! NOTHING! GET OUT OF MY HOUSE, YOU USER!"'

Flash back ended....

My mother threw everything out at sight, including me. She destroyed everything in the house. She tossed me out on the street, as my belongings. I thought she could understand, but...but nobody understands what I feel! Nobody understands what PAIN and SUFFERING really is! At times I would ask myself, how did I end up here? In this mess? In this screwed up life? Why didn't I think it through, before I did the things I did? I thought it was easy to say 'NO' to let go. That 'YES,' is as easy as saying 'NO,' but it ISN'T! I thought if I tried some drugs, tried to taste even just a little, I could still say no, later on. But its not that easy. Its not easy to say 'NO,' its not easy to let go of the drugs, of the violence, of the smoking, the partying, to the SEX! Once, your body is used to it, you don't want to STOP!

I knew, I deserved to DIE! I should DIE! Actually, I see no point in living. Right here. Right now. I screwed up my life. I screwed up my parents life. I screwed up my friends life. And I've screwed up everything. Period. I wanted to DIE. I felt there was no reason to live. I felt no reason to continue. Before I could hurt myself even more, the door slams open. I sit there, with wide-opened eyes. Its Darien. He looks angry. I closed my eyes with fear, afraid he would shout and scream again. But he didn't. He knelt down and embraced me tightly. Tears began falling from his cheeks too. "Please," he said. "Please, stop this, Serena. Don't do this anymore! I understand you feel HURT! YOU FEEL SUFFERING! YOU FEEL LIKE NO ONE UNDERSTANDS YOU! NO ONE LOVES YOU! NO ONE CARES ABOUT YOU!"

I looked into his dark, blue ocean eyes, in tears. "NOBODY DOES! NOBODY LOVES ME! NOBODY CARES ABOUT ME OR MY FEELINGS! NOBODY UNDERSTANDS ME! NOT MY MOTHER! NOT MY FATHER! NOT MY FRIENDS! NNNNNOOOOBBBBOOODDDY!!! I WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM THIS WORLD! I WANT TO LIVE IN A PLACE WHERE EVERYONE LOVES ME AND CARES ABOUT ME! BUT THERE'S NO SUCH PLACE! BECAUSE NOBODY WOULD EEEEEVVVVVVEEER LOVE ME!!!!!"

A moment of silence passes through both of us. None of us said a word. I could already hear him tell me 'YOUR RIGHT! KILL YOURSELF NOW AND DO THE WHOLE WORLD A FAVOR!'

He put his large hand on my face. His hand was so warm. I could hear my heart, pumping and beating, ever so slowly. "I love you."

"Y--y---you?? What?" I asked.

He smiles tenderly and wipes away my tears."I love you. I care about you. If you want a place to live in where everyone loves you, find that place in me. It doesn't matter if everyone else hates you. I love you and I want you to be a part of my WORLD!"

"D-D-Darien??"

"Yes, Serena?"

"I WANT TO GO HOME!!"

I look at him. He looks at me. I knew he loved me. I felt it. He then bends down and kisses me, so passionately. He rubbs his moist, juicy lips upon mine and I enter into a new world. His WORLD. I now know, love exists and I saw it through his eyes.