Disclaimer: I do not own that which belongs to J.K. Rowling
Her Living Nightmare
By: Wanda
{Team Captain of The Caerphilly Catapults! Round 9 of The Quidditch League FanFiction Competition! Writing for Beater 1! Challenge: What if one of the Golden Trio had been left with a mental or physical disability after the Battle of Hogwarts?}
Dear Headmistress Minerva McGonagall,
I appreciate the offer of becoming a professor but I cannot accept the position. I'm sorry, but I cannot do it.
Miss Hermione J. Granger
Hermione wrote the note quickly as soon as she received the letter from her old Head of House. If she wanted to be honest with herself, the position was one of her childhood dreams but she couldn't fathom returning to England, let alone back into the scene of the Battle of Hogwarts. She simply couldn't see herself going there, as she was already haunted by her memories, the living nightmares that encumbered her dreams. The face of the woman who was long dead, the same face shared by the nicest woman she knew, but she couldn't go back. She simply couldn't.
She ran away from it all. Harry Potter and Ronald Weasley had chased her to the edge of the world, although, she had made her final stop in Australia. She simply couldn't face them, yet Ron had never given up on her. He came by to visit and join her for a cup of tea every three weeks to make sure she was okay. Hermione looked at her calendar briefly to see the circled date of when Ron was due to arrive. He always arrived at the same time. He always asked her the same questions and she always gave him similar responses. It was a routine and she enjoyed seeing him. It was the best part of her month, when he came to visit.
"Hermione, are you here?" Hermione smiled when she heard his voice. "I'm sitting by the fireplace. I've only just started the tea."
"How is everything. Are your parents back?" Ron questioned her as he enveloped her in his arms and pressed a chaste kiss against the top of her head before he took his normal seat.
"Good, I guess. No, they are still Wendell and Monica Wilkins. Every time I think I have it, they rain on my parade. They simply refuse to remember me. I thought I saw that knowing look in my father's eyes and then he returned to being Wendell. It's maddening! It was so much easier erasing their memories...than trying to give them back." Hermione stated as she sighed. "I've been prone to watching them as they live out their daily lives. I took the job at the post so I can try something every day, except Sundays. It's proving to be a challenge."
"At least they are alive, Hermione." Ron stated softly as he walked into her small kitchen and poured their tea, coming back with the cups on saucers. "Here you are, Hermione. I know you don't want to go back to England just yet, as you have not solved the issue with your parents, but can you at least come by for the holidays this year? Mum would love to see you. She has kept all the presents from the last three years she has purchased and made for you."
Hermione sighed deeply as she closed her eyes. "Ron, I cannot guarantee that I will but I will attempt to accommodate your mother. It would be nice to see everyone again."
"Harry sends his regards, as does Ginny. They also wanted me to deliver this." He placed a small black envelope before her while she made her tea by adding a bit of cream and one small sugar cube. She lifted the envelope and looked at him. "What's this?" Hermione asked as she opened the envelope and her smile was the first genuine one she'd had in the last couple of years. "They are getting married?! Way to go Ginny!"
Ron smiled as he prepared his own tea with three sugars and no cream. He sighed happily when he saw her face light up. It was the first time he had seen a real smile on her face since before Malfoy Manor. "They wish for you to come. It's going to be an early Spring wedding. Harry and Ginny both believe you should be there for it, as Ginny would appreciate it if you would be her Maid of Honor, but don't tell her I told you, she is only going to ask you if you came for Christmas."
"Ron...I haven't stepped a foot in England since—I" Hermione began but she was cut off by Ron.
"I know. I will be there for you every step of the way, I promise." Ron stated as he placed his hand on hers. "I see you received the proposition from Minnie. Why don't you take the job, Hermione?" Ron asked as he noticed her undelivered letter to the Headmistress, refusing to take the position she was offered.
"I cannot go back! Not after everything that has happened, Ron, I just can't." Hermione stated as tears streamed down her face. "She still haunts my dreams. My cuts reopen every time I close my eyes to go to sleep. I wake up bleeding heavily on my sheets."
"Have you tried dreamless sleep?" Ron asked gently.
"It's highly addictive and, if used too much, it can be dangerous, Ron. Besides, it doesn't work on memories. I tried it the first couple nights when the nightmares began but it never worked. It's like she cursed me to relive it." Hermione stated as she shivered. "I wish I was the one to kill that vile woman."
"My mother took grave satisfaction in killing her. She still has nightmares as well. Sometimes she wakes up screaming, 'Not my daughter—you bitch!' It's quite hilarious, sometimes, but I understand what you are going through. You will get through this. I'm here for you, I promise."
"Do you have to leave tonight?" Hermione asked him, as she looked up to him.
"No, I took a few days this time. The glory of being an Auror is not all what it's cracked up to be. Don't get me wrong, I loved the training and I love working with Harry, but it's taking it's toll. I keep seeing memories play before my eyes when we are walking in certain places around London. I can understand why you wouldn't want to come back but wouldn't it be easier for you if you could talk about it?"
"I want to forget it." Hermione stated as she looked up to Ron. I don't ever want to remember it. Not one bit...but it still continues to haunt me, and I took every possible trigger away. I left England, I rarely see Harry anymore. The only solace I receive is when you are here.
"I wanted to forget it, too, but I learned the hard way that it will eat you alive if you don't talk about it." Ron stated softly, as he squeezed her hand. "I won't judge you if you tell me what happened that night."
"Not tonight, Ron," Hermione stated as she looked into her tea cup. "It's bad enough I have to relive it every night. Why do you expect me to talk about it now? There's no miracle cure for this disease."
"Look, Hermione, it may not be an instant cure but it works. It helps. But trust me, talking about it does make it easier to sleep at night. It truly is a miracle cure for this type of condition." Ron stated as he sighed as he took a long sip of his tea.
"She was a horrible woman. She tortured me Ron. She used the Cruciatus Curse, she used that knife. My scar still bleeds every night. Every time I close my eyes that witch terrifies me in my nightmares. I keep trying to tell her that we didn't steal the sword, that it found us, but she doesn't believe me. She didn't believe me, even though I was screaming the truth. She kept screaming at me, telling me I was lying. She cut the word Mudblood into my arm and the scar will never fade, even if we manage to cure the cut and erase the scar. The scar in my mind is far worse than the one in my flesh." Hermione confessed as tears slid down her face, silently. "She was a vile witch and, though I don't wish it on anyone, I wish she would have received the kiss."
Ron nodded, as he listened to Hermione tell her side of the story. "Sometimes I hear your screams in my nightmares. I remember that night but I never knew what you went through. My imagination went wild when I heard your screams. I kept telling them to take me instead. So did Harry. We both tried to save you from that vile woman but she had a vendetta against you. I'm so sorry, I wish it had been me." Ron stated calmly as he stood up and engulfed her within his arms, pressing a kiss against her forehead.
"I only have one regret that I wish I could change about our grand adventure. I wish I had never left your side." Ron stated, truthfully, as he looked into her eyes. "I was grateful when the Deluminator lead back to you. I can't explain it but it was a true miracle that I was lead by your voice a spark of light, it led me back to you."
"Just because you can't explain it, doesn't mean it's not still a miracle." Hermione stated softy, as she smiled. "Didn't you say it lead you back to us, Harry and I?"
"Not really, I wasn't really concerned about Harry, he is the boy that lived—twice now. I was more worried about you and how much I missed you. I felt my heart ache when I left and you refused to go with me. I thought you understood my perspective but you stayed with Harry. The locket had messed with my mind so badly that I was jealous of your relationship with Harry. I didn't figure out you were more like siblings until...after he left you here and didn't go chasing after you once he discovered you were safely tucked away in your little corner of Austrailia. I, on the other hand, couldn't live without you in my life. I have felt this way since we last kissed. I didn't want to pressure you into anything you weren't ready for but I might as well talk about it. I love you, Hermione. I will wait for eternity for you."
Hermione took one last sip of her tea before she stood up and walked into the living room. There she had a small television stand, where she indulged her weekly guilty pleasures. "Ron...I.."
"You don't have to say it," Ron said as he followed her, forgetting about his tea altogether. He walked up behind her and hugged her tightly.
"But I do, Ron—I have loved you for the longest time and I never thought I would be good enough for you, as I have been suffering from this disease, these heinous memories that scarred my mind beyond repair." Hermione stated softly.
"It's not beyond repair. I can help you." Ron stated as he kissed the top of her head. "Nothing is impossible if you just believe. Isn't that what you told me once? We will cure your parents of their lost memories and you can return to England, or perhaps I can transfer here, if you cannot handle the prospect of returning to London."
Hermione smiled as she leaned into him, "Perhaps I should return to England. Perhaps I will accept Minerva's offer of a teaching position. They always say those that can't, teach. Perhaps that's why she continues to send me those offers."
"What does she want you to teach?" Ron asked her as he kissed the top of her head and continued hugging her.
"Defense, actually. I think the curse is gone but they still cannot manage to keep anyone permanently. She hopes that I can break it." Hermione stated as she turned to face him, stepping on her toes before pressing her lips against his and melting into his arms. The spark is still there. I still feel that flutter in my stomach and my heart strings are being pulled into him. Perhaps I can still love him, even though my mind is addled by this mental disease. "I do love you Ron, I truly love you."
"I'm so glad to hear you say it." Ron spoke softly into her lips before promptly kissing her back, ending in an entangled mess of body parts making out on her couch as they acted like the lively teenagers they should have been ages ago, before a war made them grow up too fast.
Author's Note: I hope you enjoyed the tale. It was easier to write than my Captain's entry. I hope you love it. Please leave a review in the little box!
Lost O'Fallon Girl
Prompts: 10. Bleeding Heavily, 11. An undelivered letter, 7. Rain on my Parade 8. Glory 5. "Just because you can explain it doesn't mean it's not still a miracle." ― Terry Pratchett, Small Gods