WARNING: This story contains Mpreg, yaoi, sexual content, rape, and a few other M rated materials. Also contains KisaSaso, OrochiSaso, slight KisaIta, KakuIta (why does no one like this pairing? *pouts a little*), PainKonan, HidaLee (Problem? Too derpin' bad),and GaiDei. Don't like these pairings? I do and I don't wanna change them. All of these are crack pairings (except Pain x Konan, KisaIta, and somewhat OrochiSaso). If you don't like these pairing, you probably don't wanna read this. Please don't bitch about the pairings, cuz if you do…I might just bitch right back and I'm not talkin' about PM-wise.

"Yo Sasori-danna, un." Deidara poked the cheek of the puppet in front of him. "Danna…Danna!"

Frustrated, the blonde shook the puppet's body. "Damn it! Are you even in there?!"

"No, but I'd thank you kindly to stop shaking it so roughly with your filthy hands." Deidara jumped back at the sound of his partner's voice. The red head was out of his puppet with the files they had retrieved during the mission.

"Shit, danna! You could have at least warned me before you left that damn thing, un!"

"And you could have told me that you and your boyfriend were fucking in our room yesterday." Deidara turned bright red and looked away, ashamed. "Yeah…you look right at the ground. You should be ashamed. Damn, you're a screamer. It was amazing that no one came to investigate it. You two couldn't keep quiet for three hours. I'm surprised your voice isn't gone from all that 'Oh Gai-sempai! Go faster! Oh fuck yes! Pound me with your beautiful, youthful, sexy, huge cock!' How can a penis be youthful, beautiful, and sexy?"

"S-shut up!" Deidara hit the puppet master on the shoulder, childishly. "You're just jealous you don't have someone special."

"If you mean someone to make me scream like that every night and day, no…" Sasori rolled his eyes as he got into his puppet, Hiruko. 'Deidara must not know about Kisame-kun…It's better he not know at all."

"It's not all about sex." Deidara then began a 3 hour rant on why Gai and he were perfect for each other, why their love would last forever even though they were miles apart, and how much in love they were. Sasori was partly amazed that he didn't fall asleep during his long ass rant. "…and that is why you're a loser, un."

"This "loser" has accomplished more in his life time than you have in your 19 years on this Earth." Sasori said, throwing in his two cents. "How long have you two been dating for?"

"2 years." Deidara said proudly. "We're getting married next month, un!"

"Are you kidding me?" Sasori looked up at his partner in disgust. "You're not only in a criminal organization with people who want you dead, but you also have a boyfriend who's around my age, probably a little younger, who's village will turn you in faster than you can take a shit and you wanna get married? Have you already gone full retard on me?"

"You don't think I know that, un?!" Deidara folded his arms. "I wouldn't expect someone like you to understand the bond between two loving…"

"I swear if you make that long ass speech again, I will shove my fist so far up your ass, it's going to get stuck…and nobody, not even your precious Gai, will be able to remove it!"

"Hmph!"

After an hour of silence of walking, they finally arrived at the hideout. Deidara, still upset from before, headed to their room as the puppet master made his way into the boss's room. Sasori was about to open the door when he thought twice about what happened the last time he walked in without knocking.

"Come in." said Pain's tired voice.

"I have the files for you." Sasori slapped them on the desk.

"Hm…thank you." Pain grabbed the files and slid them into the desk. "Where's Deidara?"

"In his room…sulking as always after a mission."

Pain looked around. "Is he…still fucking around with that Might Gai?"

"I'm afraid so." It was no secret that Deidara was gay and had a long, steady relationship with the youthful Hidden Leaf village ninja, which he bragged about constantly. "Are you planning on doing something about it?"

"Nah…not yet…or ever unless someone catches them." Pain sat back in his chair. "I'm getting tired of Deidara's masturbation sessions though...he's not very quiet. I can't imagine, nor will I try to, what he's like during sex or how Gai can stand his screams."

"Me either sir…me either…" Sasori walked out of the room, put Hiruko back into his room, and made his way to his lover's room and knocked.

"Come in." it was Itachi's voice.

"Good afternoon, Itachi."

"Hn." The Uchiha was painting his nails a bright green color.

"That's a nice color on you." Sasori complimented, although he didn't give two shits.

"Thank you. I could do yours too." Itachi said moving on to his toes.

"Um…no thanks, but thank you anyways." Sasori never really like the color green and he didn't want to use any fingernail polish because it made him feel nauseated when used. "Have you seen Kisame?"

"He's outside with Samedaha."

Sasori said his goodbyes to Itachi and quickly left. He, like many of the other members, never wanted to stay too long in the Uchiha's room with him in it. The only people who dared to enter were Kisame (who stayed in there) and Kakuzu (nobody knew why though). There was a rumor that Itachi raped people with the help of those eyes of his. Sasori soon found his way to the training grounds. Just like Itachi said, Kisame was outside, sitting there with his shirt off while cleaning off his Samedaha. The red head came up behind his lover and laid a gentle kiss on his cheek. "Hey there, sexy. Do you need any help cleaning your sword?"

"Oh, hey Sasori-san." He pulled the puppet master into his lap. "You're feeling mighty brave today."

"What makes you say that?" Sasori said coyly. "I don't know what you're talking about Kisa-kun…"

"You know what I'm saying, Kitten." Kisame moved a hand underneath the puppet master's shirt and squeezed a sensitive nipple. "You want me to fuck you right here, don't you? You're such a slut sometimes, Sasori-kun."

"Yes...I want your cock so badly, Kisa-kun." Sasori purred Kisame proceed to nibble on his exposed neck while he grinded against the shark's growing erection. "Oh…fuck…" Sasori slid a hand into his pants and rubbed his cock. "Take me already Kisa-kun…"

"You must be one horny bastard after that mission." Kisame smirked as he increased the friction between them.

"S-shit! S-stop teasing me!" Sasori whined. "I want that big juicy cock inside my filthy ass!"

"As you wish, Sasori-kun." Kisame changed their positions so that Sasori was naked on his back with Kisame above him. He leaned over, kissing the red head's soft lips before kissing his neck lightly, sucking on his Adam's apple, before moving down to lick his overly sensitive nipple, making the puppet master shiver and gasp.

Kisame pinched the other nipple lightly while Sasori moaned below him. The shark smirked and pinched the nipple a bit harder and nipped at the one in his mouth. Sasori's back arched off of the ground a bit and cried out his boyfriend's name. "Kisaaaameee-saaaaan…it feels so good…"

As he ran his tongue over his lover's nipple, he ran a hand up and down the thigh of Sasori. Sasori whined a little, wishing that Kisame would do a little more. Kisame, sensing his boyfriend's need, moved down his body, while leaving little kisses on the way down. When he got down to the red head's cock, he sat back and admired the leaking erection that his boyfriend had. Gently grabbing Sasori's cock, he placed a kiss on the tip and was rewarded a moan.

"Tell me what you want, Sasori-kun…" Kisame said seductively.

"Uh…Kisa-kun…p-please!" Sasori whined. "I need it…p-please make me cum…"

Smirking, the shark licked the head before licking the side of the shaft, before sucking on his lover's balls before moving back up to licking the normal sized shaft. He lightly squeezed the skin on the other man's tip as he licked the tip once more. He chuckled softly as he looked at the way Sasori and his length reacted to his touch. Sasori had his eyes closed with his tiny fists buried in the ground while sweat trickled down his face and the salvia glistened in the sunlight. If not for the fact that he could easily hurt Sasori, he would have pounced on the other missing-nin.

Not wanting the puppet master to cum yet, Kisame pulled away and took off his clothes. Sasori weakly sat up and watched his lover undress in front of him. 'Damn he looks so hot with his clothes off.'

"Are you ready, Sasori-san?" Kisame asked as he pulled out some lube.

"Yes…" Sasori blushed as he spread his legs and his tiny hole.

"You're an eager little thing…" Kisame lubed up his fingers and slid one in.

"What can I say…s-shit, Kisame right there…I-I hate to keep people wanting and I hate waiting…"

Kisame laid a kiss on the smaller man's lips before sliding a finger inside of his hole. He bite his lip as Kisame added more and more of his fingers and began scissoring them. After a while, he began thrusting them in and out of the puppet master, making him cry out the other man's name.

When the shark decided Sasori was ready, he slid his fingers out and lubed his cock up for his tiny lover. When he brought his length up to Sasori's entrance, he looked to the other man for his approval. When he nodded, Kisame slowly slid in, making Sasori moan into his lover's neck. After Sasori had gotten used to Kisame's size, he nodded for the larger man to move. Kisame started with a slow thrust while Sasori wrapped his arms around Kisame's neck and his legs around his waist.

"Uh…Kisame-koi…f-faster…"

"As you wish, Sasori-kun…" Sasori gasped as the shark quickened his thrusts, making the former Sand ninja see stars. Sasori moaned in complete pleasure and cried out his lover's name. Kisame bit into the puppet master's neck so that everyone would see that Sasori belonged to him and only him.

"Ah…fuck! Yes! Yes!" Sasori moaned. "I'm so close!"

"Ugh…fuck!" Kisame wrapped his hand around Sasori's erection and started pumping it with his thrusts. Sasori came with cry of "Kisame-kun!" all over his and Kisame's chests. Kisame growled at the tightness and came deep inside of his lover. When a couple of minutes passed, the shark pulled out of the smaller man and laid beside him.

"We should do this more often, Kisa-kun." Sasori purred as he ran his fingers up and down Kisame's chest.

"With your partner in your room and Itachi to see after, I guess we never have time to." He sighed.

"Well maybe we could make arrangements or something for some time alone."

"I guess." Kisame and Sasori put on their clothes and headed off to the hideout. "Sasori-san?"

"Yes?" Sasori asked.

"Do you think that…Gai is cheating on Dei?"

"What made you think that?"

"Well…"

FLASHBACK

Kisame was walking down the Akatuski hallway when he heard noises coming from Kakuzu and Hidan's room and went to investigate. Upon getting closer, he saw that the door was open slightly so he went to close it when suddenly…

"Spank me harder, you turd!" Hidan growled from inside his room.

"I-I'm trying!" the other voice said.

"Damn it, do I need to spank you?! Do you want that you little shit?!"

"YES!"

"Well too bad asshole!"

Kisame peeked inside to see Hidan laying on the lap of Lee's (who looked very much Gai) lap. Hidan had a vibrator up his ass while he had a loose bag gag around his mouth with his ass cheeks a pink color.

"You know you love it when I suck your cock…spank me harder and I'll…" Hidan never got to finish his sentence because Lee slapped his ass harder and harder. "S-shit! Fuck! Yes! Yes! Harder! Oh fuck! Yes! Hmph!"

Lee had put the gag into the older man's mouth. "Shut up whore and take your punishment...uh please."

Hidan only moaned in reply and Lee continued to spank the older male. Kisame, meanwhile, closed the door and ran off.

END FLASH BACK

"No reason!" the shark laughed nervously.

Review please!