DISCLAIMER: I own None of these Characters, the belong to JRR Tolkien. Although, I pretend I own Frodo, or Elijah Wood, and he is Tied up in my room, and he's happy about it….I didn't Say that, Don't tell my mum.
A/N: This is the lost chapter of LOTR. Sorry about it, I was feeling Sarcastic one day and Wrote it. Please Review, though. And sorry it's written in present tense even though the rest of LOTR isn't, it's a habit from another story I wrote…
A/N again: And look out for my random Capitalization Problem. Sorry and all that.
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The Lost Chapter
Frodo Baggins Slams His Middle Earth Atlas (A/N: YES, I do have one of those, got a problem with that?) Shut in frustration. "Why the Hell does everything from Rivendell (aka Imladris) on to The Sea have a gazillion names!?!?! How am I supposed to Know where I'm going? The Valar could have Bloody Well had the decency to Establsh ONE NAME for everything Couldn't they. ACK. My head Hurts." He pops an Elvish Asprin as Pippin Dashes past
him with a Super Soaker.
"Think fast Frodo!" yells Merry as a football bounces off Frodo's Head. Steam begins to come out of Mr. Baggins' Ears. Very Funny Gandalf, He thinks.
"Leave Mr. Frodo alone! He can't get nothin done if you are annoyin him!" Says Sam.
"Sam," says Frodo, "We're all in the Same boat (A/N: So to speak…) now, so Stop calling me "Mister". We are all in an equal predicament and Frankly, it's a little Kinky sounding doncha think?"
"Sure, Mr. Frodo, you're the Boss." Said Sam.
"No, that's what I'm try-" begins Frodo. SLAM! A red Water balloon went zooming into Sam's Head.
"YOU'RE DEAD, MR. PIPPIN!!!" Yells Sam. "See Ya, Mr. Frodo!" Sam Dashes off as Frodo Slaps His Head with his palm.
Boromir wanders over and nonchalantly sits down next to Frodo. "Hey, Ringbearer, Can I, er, see the Ring for a second? I think it could probably use a good spit-shine…yeah."
"Um, How about not?" says Frodo. Boromir Walks off Huffily.
Aragorn is wandering around aimlessly, most probably fantasizing about his hot elf girlfriend. Lucky sonofabitch, Frodo thinks. Oh Well, I have my tacky gold ring to keep me company. He takes it out and admires it, glinting in the setting sun shining through the trees. Suddenly, he feels that familiar old uncontrollable urge to put the ring on and does. Heh heh. Now for some fun.
His First Target is Boromir, who he never liked anyway. He pokes him in the back. Boromir Spins around, shield up, sword drawn. Frodo sucks in his gut. Boromir had nearly had himself an invisible Frodo-kabob. "Note to self," Frodo mutters," never screw around with the heads of quick Westron Men with Swords…" then he runs around Calling everyone's names for about half an hour before he comes across Gimili, who is brushing Legolas' hair. "Hee hee." Says Frodo. "They said they went off to collect Faggots…." (A/N: No offense to anyone out there…And I don't think Legolas is gay, if I did, I would weep for days because he's just so damn hot. Gimili, I'm not so sure, but not my Legolas…I just wrote that to demonstrate that the ring is making Frodo Mean. *sniff*) Frodo slips off the ring and immiediately feels bad for saying that…especially considering how people write Slash fics about Him and Sam all the time….Damn Ring. The Sooner it gets destroyed better. He goes off to find Merry and Peg him in the head with the football. "Hey, Merry! Heads up! Oops sorry about that!" he calls. And for the rest of the day he gets quite a few things thrown at him, but he doesn't mind. And seeing as this is one of the last times they will all be together for a long time…that's pretty cool.
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Hee Hee. Did I offend any of you? Sorry. Review please. And By the way, I actually love very much how all the places have so many names. I love names.