Humans.
He didn't know why he liked them so much really.
One minute they were all wandering about on their odd little planet, the next they were out there amongst the stars – still bickering, still glued to their TVs. He had never met a species before (and he had met quite a few) that could travel light years across an infinite universe, find exotic new worlds, and still complain about the weather. 'Oh no, it's possible to be too hot' they would say, as they looked at the majestic triple suns of the Cassiopeia System.
No, he really didn't know why he liked them.
And the galling thing was, everybody else knew. He remembered Romana smirking at him 'Doctor, everyone knows its your favourite planet!' – as if a member of the most ancient and mighty race in the universe had the same silly fads and hobbies as some stupid ape! He was the Doctor. He was a man of mystery, an enigma, a riddle, a riddle wrapped in an enigma, a riddle wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a...well in something very mysterious and impressive.
Ok, so he had travelled with one or two humans, not that many if you think about it. And it was wasn't cos he liked them, not really. He was just doing his bit, helping the universe along. Cos someone had to stop them blundering about and walking into things. Really, they weren't good for much.
Except for the jelly babies.
Possibly.
Ok maybe the jelly babies were good. And the bananas – but they were a good source of potassium! And you could never have too much of that as Gillian McKeith had often said. (Not to him obviously. He'd just heard it…somewhere. Anyway it's not important.)
And tea! What was it about humans and their tea? All the drinks in all the universe and it all came down to a little bag of tea leaves which could only be grown on that one planet. Rose drinks the stuff with breakfast, dinner and tea. And it's not as if she can even make it right. She may as well wave the teabag at the mug from across the room for the all colour it has. Its like these 21st century humans have lost the ability to make a proper brew. He tried to show her the other night. In the interests of furthering the development of the human race. Obviously. And she just looked at him, wrinkling her nose.
'But Doctor, if I make it too strong it makes the hobnob taste funny.'
Honestly, there's no hope.
He didn't know why he wasted his time. It's not as if he didn't have other things to do. Big, important, things. Big, important, heroic things. He should be out there rescuing some distant civilization, not queuing in the Happy Shopper on a Wednesday night clutching a 2-pinter of milk (67p! He could remember when it was a shilling) and a packet of chocolate hobnobs (Rose liked plain but he was rather partial to the chocolate ones himself).
Not that she was here to help carry it. Wandered off no doubt. That's what these humans were good at, wandering off, getting into trouble and needing him to do something amazing to rescue them. Again.
Well not tonight. Tonight he would be as far away from this silly little planet and its shops and its rain and its...
...chips?
Yep, he could definitely smell chips.
And there she was. Rose. Beaming at him from the shop doorway and holding aloft a steaming plastic bag. He raised an eyebrow, hopefully. She rolled her eyes.
'Yes, I got your mushy peas'
He broke into a smile.
Humans.
Maybe they weren't so bad after all.