A/N: In the middle of my homework, I thought of this, and simply couldn't resist writing this quick lil parody fic. Oh, and I know not all girls are in love with Legolas (I know I'm not)…but Legolas likes thinking that, I assume. O-o

Disclaimer: I own neither West Side Story, nor Lord of the Rings.

I Am Pretty

LEGOLAS
I am pretty,
Oh, so pretty,
I am pretty and witty and pretty!!
And I pity
Any man who will ne'er be me.

I am charming,
Oh, so charming!
It's alarming how charming I am!!!
And so pretty
That I'm the love of every teenage madame!!

See the pretty prince in that mirror there:
Who can that gorgeous elf be?
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty bow,
Such well-styled hair,
Such a pretty me!

I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and prancing with glee,
For every teen girl
Is completely in love with me!

HOBBITS
Have you met the blond elf, Legolas,
The most arrogant elf of them all?
You'll know him the minute you see him,
He's the one who wants to be on every girl's wall.

He thinks he's so hot!
He thinks he's so fine!  
He isn't so hot,

He's not that divine.



It must be the ring
Or some elvish disease,
Or too much thinking,
Or maybe it's fleas.

Keep away from him,
All you fan girls!
Don't you realize

You're making us hurl?
 

"Modest" and "pure",
"Polite" and "refined",
"Well-bred" and "mature"
And out of his mind!!

LEGOLAS
I am pretty,
Oh, so pretty
And all HOBBITS want to sleep with me!
A committee
Has been organized to honor me!

HOBBITS
Blah blah blah blah . . .

LEGOLAS
I feel dizzy,
I feel sunny,
I feel fizzy and funny, I'm fine,
And I'm so, so pretty,
Mr. Aragorn can just resign!

HOBBITS
Blah blah blah blaa . . .

LEGOLAS
See the pretty elf in that mirror there:

HOBBITS
What mirror where?

LEGOLAS
Who can that attractive prince be?

HOBBITS
Which? What? Where? Whom?

LEGOLAS
Such a pretty face,
Such a pretty skirt,
Such well-styled hair,
Such a pretty me!

HOBBITS
Such stupid elf!!

LEGOLAS
I feel stunning
And entrancing,
Feel like running and prancing with glee,
For every teen girl
Is completely in love with me!