Lost In Lost
Disclaimer: I don't own Lost, duh, JJ Abrams does, but I do own this fic. However, I would be happy to trade it for the casting rights to Star Trek XI! Hee hee, Matt Damon would be OUT!
A/N: I would just like to point out that if the girls' reactions seem overdone and corny sometimes, it's because they're supposed to be ditzy, so don't blame my writing!
Chapter 1: The Skate Squad
One cold, stormy Wednesday night, a group of teenage girls lounged in the living room belonging to one of the girls. They had just finished watching that week's episode of Lost, the thing they waited anxiously for each week with bated breath. Normally, the girls would have been rather depressed at this time, because the week's waiting had started anew, but tonight, they felt nothing but satisfaction. For these girls were a very particular type of Lost fans; they were Skates, and hard-core ones at that. They revered Sawyer as a veritable god, and they wanted nothing more from this world but to see their celestial cowboy be paired with the female lead of the show, Kate Austin. And tonight, the show had granted them their most fervent wish, for Sawyer had just hooked up with Kate.
"That was a good show, wasn't it?" one of the girls, Brianna, said, rather redundantly.
"Yeah, and Sawyer was really hot too," her friend Shania practically drooled.
"Well, duh! What else did you expect?" Haley, who sat next to Shania, cried, and hit her friend jokingly with a pillow.
The final member of the group, Madison, commented dreamily, "I've got to post a story about this…"
"Totally! Me too!" Shania said, and the other girls nodded vigorously.
Posting stories was another favorite activity of the Skate Squad, as they called themselves. They all had accounts on Fanfiction, with names like, predictably enough, "hollowayishot25," "lostwithacowboy," "skatergirl," and of course, "Sawyer's girlfriend101." The Squad had quarreled a bit over who would get that name, but Madison had eventually scored it, after winning a brutally competitive game of Rock-Paper-Scissors. The stories posted on these accounts were Skate stories, and they chiefly involved Sawyer and Kate staring rapturously into each others eyes, and related subjects. It must be said there was some talented Skate writers on Fanfiction, but sadly, the Skate Squad could not be considered such. They certainly deserved credit for being prolific, however, as they each posted a new story chapter or one-shot at least once every two days.
Madison grabbed her laptop, which was lying nearby, and gleefully booted up her word processor. She was not the worst writer of the Skate Squad by any means, in fact, with a little less Sawyer-worship; she might not be that bad. Just now, she was starting a one-shot that she knew she would enjoy writing, Kate's thoughts as she desperately tried to persuade Picket the Other not to bump off Sawyer. Despite her rather naïve writing skills, Madison always took her writing seriously. She did not even notice the storm picking up, the thunder crashing and booming; she was concentrating very hard on where she wanted the story to go, and trying to "get into the head" of her lead character. She was thinking intensely of this last aspect when the lightning struck. Sparks came out of her laptop, she felt a lot of heat, and she blacked out.
When Madison woke up, her head was aching, and she wondered fuzzily what had happened to her. Then she remembered the bright flash, the sparks crackling out of her computer, and she was grateful a headache was all that was wrong with her. Madison sat up slowly, and she realized there was an awful lot of sand around her. With a feeling of disorientation not due to her recent accident, Madison looked about her wildly. There was no sign of the living room, only a sandy beach with azure waves crashing on it, and some exotic looking trees a way off. "What the heck?" the girl muttered hazily.
Suddenly she saw Shania running up to her. "What happened?" she shouted. "I remember the storm, a flash, and next thing I knew, I was here!"
Brianna and Haley walked up in time to hear Shania's comment, and nodded. "That's what happened to us, too! What's going on?"
"Well, I'd like to know as much as the rest of us!" Madison cried defensively.
"You know what this looks like, Maddie…" Brianna muttered, trailing off.
"But that's impossible!" Madison said incredulously.
"Hey, apparently a lightning bolt transported us from Sherwood, New Jersey, to a tropical beach! I think quite a bit is possible at this point!" Haley bawled.
"She's got a point," Brianna said philosophically.
Maddie glared at her. "So I'm supposed to just believe, no questions asked, that this is the Lost Island? Hey, where's Shania?"
"Right here," the girl in question said. "And as to believing this is the Lost island, I don't think we have much of a choice." She held up a container that she had been clutching. It appeared to be a cereal box, but it was white, and it bore the all too familiar black-lined octagon with the swan in the middle.
"Dude, they're Dharma cornflakes!" Brianna said gleefully. "Gimme!" She seized the box before Shania could object, and immediately crammed in a mouthful of the cornflakes. Brianna gulped, and grinned idiotically. "Never in my life did I think I would get to eat Dharma food. This is so sweet!"
Madison's face remained serious, and she said sheepishly, "I can't figure how it happened, but I think this is my fault."
"What do you mean?" Shania asked.
"Well, when the lightning hit, I was writing a fic about Lost."
"Really? And now we're on the Lost Island… that is so weird!" Brianna squawked.
Shania's eyes grew wide, "So that's why we're here? Whoa."
"I feel terrible!" Maddie moaned pitifully. "I transported all of us to somewhere on the other side of the world, and I didn't even mean to!" She began to sniffle; filled with shame for the wrong she had done her best friends.
"Well, you may feel terrible, but I think you did us a good turn Maddie," Haley interjected, and Madison looked over at her curiously. "Don't you guys get it yet? We're on the Lost island! Can you imagine how many Lost junkies would love to be in our place?"
"And this means we can meet the Losties, cool," Shania said slowly, awestruck by the idea.
At that moment, the girls all looked at each other, abruptly realizing what this meant, and shrieked in unison, "WE CAN MEET SAWYER!!!!!!!!"
Shania tripped over a root for the third time, and whined, "Ow! This stinks! Whose idea was it to go through the jungle anyway?"
"It didn't look that difficult to get through the jungle in the show, and it's pouring rain on the beach," Madison said, defending her decision.
"Well, I'd rather be in here than get hit with one of those freak lightning bolts! We don't have Desmond to tell us where they're going to hit!" Haley said thoughtfully.
Snorting, Shania muttered sardonically, "Right, like that's going to happen!"
Haley shot back, "That's what Charlie said, and look what almost happened to him! And besides, have you forgotten so soon the reason we're in a TV show?"
Suddenly Brianna started giggling helplessly. The girls looked over at her in surprise, and she said breathlessly, "I just realized something so funny! We're lost in the Lost jungle! Lost…on Lost…" She trailed off into another burst of giggles, but sheepishly stopped when Madison gave her a stern glare.
"We're not lost!" she said stubbornly. "It's just taking us awhile to find the camp."
Despite Madison's assurances to the contrary, all the girls knew that they were indeed lost. Once they got their bearings, they had immediately decided to head for the beach camp of the Headies, so they could meet the characters and, of course, find out where Sawyer was. About ten minutes into their journey, rain had started to come down in sheets, and thunder had started rolling ominously, so Madison had suggested they walk in the jungle until the rain stopped. The rain was pouring down so hard the girls could barely open their eyes, let figure out where they were going, so they eagerly agreed. As soon as they were in there, however, they began to comprehend just how difficult it was to travel a jungle without appropriate equipment, and it was not long before they had no idea where they were. It did not help that none of them were wearing shoes suited to jungle hiking, and their slight flip flops and ballet shoes were soon in disgraceful condition.
"Why do they always just show John Locke and Sayid tramping around in here? It's not fair; they make it look way easier than it actually is!" Shania griped irritably, as she struggled to climb over a fallen branch.
The other girls chuckled as they assisted Shania over the beastly tree limb, and they were falling into a friendly conversation, when a threatening sound nearby caused them all to fall speechless. Stiff with fear, Shania squeaked, "Did that sound like…"
"A polar bear?" Brianna finished for her. She made a strange sound in her throat that would have been laughable any other time, but just now, seemed to personify exactly everyone's feelings on island polar bears.
"It's okay, I'm sure he doesn't even know we're here," Haley started to say encouragingly, but she sank into silence as a large white polar bear sprang out of the bushes with a roar. The group took one look at his livid, hunger crazed eyes, the huge paws with claws more dangerous looking than ninja knives, and screamed in unison and bolted away as fast as they possibly could. The polar bear followed, his bulky legs carrying him at a surprisingly rapid pace, letting out a furious growl as he pursued his quarries.
In her terrified sprint, Haley nearly smacked her head on a low hanging tree branch, but instead, resourcefully grabbed it and pulled herself into the tree. She saw Maddie running up to the tree, and Haley yelled frantically to her from her perch. Looking up, Madison scrambled onto the branch, and gasping, wedged herself onto the tree next to Haley. "Where are Brianna and Shania?" she wheezed.
Her face registering her distress, Haley shrugged nervously, but a screech on the ground caught the girls' attention. A half-buried tree vine had apparently thrown Brianna off her feet, and she was attempting to untangle her ankle from it with frenzied jerks and terrified shrieks. Screaming just as volubly, Shania was bravely trying to help her, but it was clear she was too panicky to be of much help. The polar bear was nearing the pair rapidly, in a series of agile lunges and jumps over the jungle terrain. Haley leapt valiantly out of the tree, but landed wrong and hit her head, groaning with pain. Madison clutched her tree branch, rooted the spot with fear.
The vine still held Brianna firmly in place, the thing would not budge, and the beast came still closer. He was upon them now, and Shania and Brianna were shrieking hysterically. The polar bear made his final pounce, when he suddenly howled with agony and dropped to the ground. He made a last convulsive swipe at nothing in particular, twitched, and lay still.
Trembling, Shania half rose and stared with eyes bulging at the hunting knife sticking out of the beast's neck. "I think he's d-dead, Brianna," she quavered, and Brianna shook the last of the tree vine off of her and gulped audibly. "Well, that was close." She laughed shakily.
Haley started over to her friends, with Maddie following, but nearly jumped out of her skin as she perceived a rustling in the bushes. All four girls yelped loudly as a large form emerged, and Brianna tripped again. They sighed with relief as they realized the figure was a man, and he cried, "Relax! I'm not going to hurt you!"
"Sorry we're so jumpy, but we nearly got eaten by a polar bear just now," Madison explained, with some embarrassment.
"I know," the man said briskly, "I threw the knife that brought it down."
Now that they were calmed down, the girls took a better look at the man. He was probably in his early fifties, and dressed in a grimy T-shirt and a pair of frayed cargo pants. He was quite tan from a life in the open, and he looked as though he knew things he would not tell. His most outstanding features, however, were a completely bald and somewhat shiny head and a large scar over one eye. Recognition began to dawn on the group, and Shania said excitedly, "You're John Locke, aren't you?"
The man jumped, and said suspiciously, "Well, yes I am. How did you know?"
Shania blanched, and looked uneasily at her friends. "It's a long story."
Locke raised an eyebrow skeptically, and asked, "How about you? What are your names?"
Maddie smiled endearingly, eager to allay his suspicions, and replied, "I'm Madison, and," gesturing at each girl in turn, "this is Haley, Shania, and Brianna."
"By the way," Brianna added, "thanks for saving me and Shania from the polar bear. I was sure we were goners."
"No problem, I was passing by, and I thought I heard trouble," he said in his calculating way.
"He thinks we're Others because we know his name! This is terrible!" Madison thought apprehensively.
"We're kind of lost in here, do you think you could show us the way out?" Haley asked, then she added, "Also, we're kind of hungry, too." The other girls nodded quickly.
Thinking of food, Brianna noted, "I burned up those cornflakes a long time ago."
Locke raised his eyebrow again, and finally said, "Tell you what. I'll take you back to camp, and you can get something to eat there. Eventually though, I want to know where you came from, and how you knew my name."
"Sure, no problem at all, Mr. Locke. And thank you," Madison said gratefully.
"You're welcome. But I warn you, if you're coming to my camp to cause trouble, we're more than prepared to deal with you."
"We won't cause trouble! We think you're awesome, Mr. Locke!" Brianna said admiringly. Locke chuckled doubtfully.
"So, how many of those hunting knives do you have?" Haley asked, and Locke got the impression the trip back to camp would be a tedious one.
Assisted by John Locke's expertise in the jungle, the group made swift progress through the jungle. It was of great relief to everybody that they did not run into any more wild animals. Soon the beach was back in view, and the girls had to repress squeals of excitement as they saw the little huts and tents belonging to the survivors. They could hardly keep still as they realized that they might see Sawyer at any moment now. Oblivious to their delight, Locke stepped onto the beach and stated the obvious. "Well, welcome to our camp."
I hope you enjoyed this chapter, I certainly enjoyed writing it, as I am a huge fan of the show! By the way, I love reviews, and if you submit one, you will have my undying devotion. If you don't...well, let's just say Henry Gale will be having a little talk with you if Jack ever sews up his kidney. Mwuahahahaha!