"Will you shut up, Prongs?" demanded Sirius. He gave a covert smile, glancing over at his two other friends – Remus, who was studying avidly for his next exam in the corner, and Peter, who was asleep in an armchair by the fire. "Wormtail may need to study."
"But she hates me! She hates me, Sirius!" James moaned, rolling miserably to his other side.
"Brilliant deduction, Holmes," deadpanned Sirius, though this comment alerted Sirius to how seriously James was taking the matter; he would have been called 'Padfoot' otherwise.
But James continued as if he had not heard his best friend's snark. "Despite anything I do, Lily Evans detests the very sight of me. Why must the only woman I love be the only woman who refuses to love me back?"
"Yes, because torturing her friend is really a good way to get her to like you, Prongs," Lupin said quietly and darkly from a nearby chair. Sirius laughed at that. James looked less amused. Peter slept on. Lupin had been in a bad mood ever since the incident in which they had tormented Severus Snape, yet they weren't sure if he was upset about that or if the approach of the full moon and his transformation was making him more irritable than usual.
There was a stony silence that Sirius decided to end by announcing his intention to go and get a couple of butterbeers by sneaking through the secret passage. "Just to get you lot in a better mood for the festivities," he said as he clambered out of the portrait hole.
Lupin turned back to his studying, stared at his book without taking in the words, then turned back to face James. "I'm sorry, James," he said. "I shouldn't have said that."
"Well, it made sense," James admitted grudgingly. "Lily just doesn't like mean . . ." James's eyes suddenly widened and he leapt to his feet, seizing Lupin's shoulders in excitement. "But you're not mean, Moony! You can go talk to her for me! You're bound to be the only one she doesn't detest, because you never joined in!"
"But I'm not the one madly in love with her, Prongs," Lupin protested rather weakly. "Besides –"
"No, of course not. You'll take her messages from me. She won't resent you for acting on my orders. She's too nice to hate you, because you're too nice to be hated! Since she's not here, she's probably in the library, avoiding us – er, me."
"But –" began Lupin, going even paler than usual.
"Please, Moony! For me! It's the only way Lily Evans will ever talk to me again!" James begged, stumbling to the floor beside Lupin's chair and putting in a great show of desperation. "What if Lily and I end up getting married, Moony?" he invented wildly, "And then we have a kid, and he's this amazing hero who ends up saving the wizarding world from the evils of You-Know-Who? But he'll never exist if you don't go and talk to Lily Evans for me! The fate of the world could depend upon it, Moony!"
Lupin stared into his friend's desperate face, thinking what a wild imagination he had, and what a horrible memory. "Will you try to stop tormenting Severus?" asked Lupin coolly.
"Yes!" replied James immediately. "I will turn over a new leaf! You can tell her that! I will be whatever Lily Evans wills me to be! But you have to go talk to her! For me!"
Lupin took a steadying breath and slowly stood, setting his book down on the armchair. Of course he would do it for James – James had, after all, made a vow to end his harassment, and James, great friend though he was, would hate him forever if he did not comply, no matter what the risk. He could not stomach any more hate or loneliness, so he nodded slowly with a faint grin and said, "All right, Prongs, you win."
"Thank you, Moony!" James nearly shouted, hurling his arms around his friend. Lupin nodded and departed with a half-smile. James sat contentedly back on the couch, confident that Lupin's gentle approach would appeal to Lily's sensitivities and prompt her kindness to give him another chance. And he would have to be kind from now on, if that was the cost of her love. He would do anything for her love. And he would have to thank Moony about a thousand more times. He waited impatiently for his return, knowing full-well that that sort subtle gentility would take a while.
His thoughts were interrupted when the portrait hole opened – hoping in vain that Lupin had been very quick, he stood, but found that it was his best friend, not his second-best friend, that returned, laden with four butterbeers.
Sirius wordlessly handed him one and placed anther on the sleeping Wormtail's lap. He looked left and right, holding up the third. "Where's Moony?" Sirius asked James. "Did he already go to the hospital wing?"
"The hospital wing? What are you on about, Padfoot?" asked James.
Sirius rolled his eyes. "It's full moon, you idiot! What 'festivities' did you think I was getting these for – the plain old 'yay-exams-are-over-tomorrow' fling? That's not fit for Marauders!"
"Oh . . . my . . ." began James, his eyes widening, gulping in terror. "It's – it's tonight?"
"Yes, it's tonight!" Sirius replied, setting the remaining two butterbeers down beside the fire and looking back to his friend, now quite alarmed. "Where is Moony? Where did he go? And how could you forget it was full moon?"
"I . . ." began James desperately, and he explained what he had asked of Lupin, and how Lupin had seemed reluctant but finally agreed.
"James!" Sirius protested, pulling him to his feet and hurtling for the door. "You just sent Moony on a suicide mission!"
"Excuse me, Miss Evans?"
Lily looked up from her History of Magic book and into the eyes of the pale boy with the gentle face who hung around with James Potter and Sirius Black. She knew his name, Remus Lupin, her fellow Gryffindor prefect, but not well enough to think his name every time she saw him.
"Yes?" she replied guardedly, having nothing particular against the boy but being suspicious nonetheless of his choice in friends. However, as Severus had had an even worse case of this problem, she could not use it as her basis for judgment.
"I am here on behalf of my friend, James Potter, who would like to tell you –" She cut him off.
"You may tell your friend James Potter that I'm not interested in a word he has to say," Lily replied coldly, turning back to her book.
"No, please, Lily!" a desperate, strangled voice cried. Lupin coughed covertly and she whipped her head around in shock. "Pleased don't be like that," he struggled hoarsely on. "James is . . . well, yes, he's an idiot sometimes, but isn't everyone? I know I am. Could you just give him a chance?"
"He's had enough chances!" snapped Lily, though she pitied this boy's earnestness. "Just like Severus. There's no way I'm fool enough to waste my time with that arrogant lunkhead!"
Lupin's expression was pained, his voice soft as he contradicted, "James isn't a lunkhead. He told me to say sorry for what he did to Snape, and – and for everything he's done before that irked you in the slightest."
Lily saw the desperation in the boy's eyes, and the pity in her heart could not be silenced. She stood, tossing her books and quill into her bag. "Walk with me," she said, and she filed away, Lupin wordlessly falling into step behind her. When she made for the entrance hall, however, Lupin stopped.
"Oh, let's – let's not go outside," he muttered, knowing how much faster the moon would affect him with its direct rays should they stay there too long.
"Oh, but it's lovely, the sun is just setting," Lily protested, turning back to him and smiling warmly, "and you could use some fresh air, I think."
Lupin tried to protest again, but the warmth of her smile silenced him; she was as kind as she was beautiful – he knew now what had instilled such desperation of love in James. And now it was his duty to help bring them together. She had to like James – he had to show her what James was really like! If he was quick in his wits, he could be back indoors before the sun fully set and the moon hung in the skies, or hurry off to the Whomping Willow once Lily had left to talk to James.
Very soon, he had joined her outside beneath a tree. She was gazing into the sunset as he desperately measured the distance to the Whomping Willow and how fast he could run there if it came to that. A shiver ran through him, though it was June. Lily turned to look back at him.
"Are you alright?" she asked.
"Oh, yes," he replied softly, repressing a sigh. "Um," he swallowed, "but James . . . James is good – he is good to me, and my other friends, and he says he will be good to everyone in the future."
Lily did not bother repressing her own sigh. "But I hate him," she said. "He's a show-off, he's never nice to anyone in my presence, and what's more, he sends his mates off to do his courting because I can't get mad at them! It's low and slimy! It's obvious you didn't really want to do this, but came out of loyalty, or – or a guilt trip! He hardly even deserves to be a Gryffindor! I really don't see why a nice boy like you would want to have anything to do with him!"
Only the top quarter of the sun remained above the horizon. He had to do this fast, for James, for Lily, so he wouldn't inadvertently kill her. But he could think of nothing to say. He opened his mouth, but as there were no words, a fit of coughing escaped it instead. Lupin's voice failed him and he sunk to a sitting position, his back to the tree and his arms around his knees, shivering uncontrollably.
"And you're ill, too!" Lily added, feeling his forehead. "He sends you out when you're ill to go and talk to me! He's heartless!"
"Oh, please, Lily, don't say that," Lupin protested weakly. "He — he just forgot I was ill. He would have waited otherwise; he's always kind to me! But he will be a bit upset with me if I fail him now."
"And that's supposed to make me like him, is it? Talking to him out of pity for you, so you won't get punished? It's so bloody low!" Lily raged.
Only a glimpse of the sun remained. Lupin clutched his head. "Don't do it out of pity for me!" he told her. "Do it because you're a kind and forgiving woman and he is a kind and contrite man who loves you, and he is good enough to be a friend to me! He wants to start over, Lily. You can make him a better man, but he needs you!" He shivered again. "Please, Lily!" he begged. "Please . . ."
"Remus . . ." began Lily, approaching him and putting a hand on his shoulder, but he jerked away violently.
"And — and if you like, if you have respect for me, don't think I'm bad because I hang around with James and Sirius. Instead, assume they're good because they hang around with me!" Lupin added desperately, willing his voice to remain calm and civil, though a howl was creeping forcefully into it.
"Lupin, you're very sick," said Lily as the last shine of the sun vanished behind the horizon. "You need to go to the hospital wing."
"No, no, no," Lupin said quickly, rising laboriously to his feet and stumbling toward the Willow. "I'll be fine. Just go inside, Lily, go and talk to James . . . I think . . . taking a walk around the grounds . . . and I'll feel better . . ."
"No, Lupin, don't be silly," Lily protested, dragging him easily off in the other direction, away from the Willow, away from the place where he could not hurt her, could hurt no one, and where his friends would find him and they would have the best of times. "You have to go there; you're much too ill for just the fresh air doing any good!"
"Lily, let me go!" cried Lupin, who could not break free of her without inviting the wolf's strength and tearing her arms off. "Please, Miss Evans! Please let me go! Please don't make me go inside! PLEASE!"
From his tone, Lily thought he might have been about to cry, but he fell silent as he gritted his teeth, and she spoke as she dragged him through the doors and up many flights of stairs, scared he would pass out if she didn't. "You're very polite, Lupin, saying please, but it will work no better than Potter trying to win me over – you have to come, Remus. Madame Pomfrey will set you right. Don't worry, you'll be fine, everything will be fine!"
Finally, the pair burst through the doors of the hospital wing, Lupin pale as death, shaking uncontrollably, moaning softly, Lily going desperately to Madame Pomfrey, who looked alarmed.
"Please, Madame, Remus is very ill, can you -?" began Lily, but Pomfrey snatched him and interrupted her.
"Yes, thank you, Miss Evans, please return to your common room," she said all in one breath. "I'll take it from here!" And she waited for Lily to depart before picking up the moaning boy and dashing back outside as fast as she could.
Lily didn't notice this as she walked morosely away from the hospital wing. She knew what she had to do now. As much as she disliked Lupin's friends, they had a right to know of their friend's condition. She had to speak to them and tell them what had happened. Perhaps then they would prove their devotion to him, that there had been a shred of truth in his pleading?
When she arrived back at the common room, however, neither James nor Sirius was there. "Mary, have you seen any of Lupin's friends?" she asked a brown-haired girl who sitting beside the fire, drinking a butterbeer.
Mary wordlessly pointed to a nearby chair, where Peter Pettigrew was lying asleep, another butterbeer sitting in his lap. Two more were sitting on the ground beside the fire. Lily picked one up and asked suspiciously, "Where did these come from?"
"Sirius Black brought them," Mary said. "He probably snuck into Hogsmeade again."
"You're drinking something from Sirius Black? It's probably poisoned! You know what they're like, Mary!" Lily said incredulously.
"It can't be poisoned, he was going to drink it himself," Mary said listlessly from the chair, the exams having apparently drained her beyond recognition, "before he and Potter dashed out of here like nutters."
"Oh, you could have said that before, Mary! Where were they headed?" asked Lily.
"How should I know?"
Lily pursed her lips. "Well, thanks all the same, Mary." She turned to Peter, who had just snorted in sleep, and then back to Mary. "Did he sleep through the whole thing?"
Mary nodded.
"So he wouldn't know any better than you do," Lily said to herself. Part of her was compelled to wake him nonetheless, so poor Lupin could have at least one friend present for comfort in his distress, but she left the waking and explaining up to Mary, who had stopped paying attention again, and dashed from the common room, off to find James and Sirius.
It did not take long.
"Evans!" cried a familiar voice, one she had heard with distaste saying her name many, many times before. She turned to face James Potter, who was followed by Sirius Black.
"Potter!"
"Evans – did Lupin come to talk to you? Do you know where he is?" demanded James desperately.
"Yes, and then he became quite ill, so I dragged him to the hospital wing!" Lily said. "I was going to find you so you could go and visit him!"
Sirius leaned covertly into James's ear. "His furry little problem, as you call it, is going to be the death of Madame Pomfrey!" he whispered.
"Well, I'm sure it's nothing she can't handle," said Lily, slightly confused on what was 'furry' about Lupin's illness. "I'm sure he'll be alright, but it's still better to be with your friends when –"
"Yes, thank you, Evans!" James said, giving her a short bow of thanks. "We'll go right to him now! Goodnight!" And as he and Sirius dashed off and rounded a corner, she was sure she could hear the sound of paws or possibly hooves dashing across the ground instead of human feet. She ignored her silly imagination and, confident that she'd done the right thing, turned to go back to the common room and drink one of the remaining butterbeers.
"Whoa, slow down, Padfoot!" James called after the black dog that was running in front of him, but it simply barked at him and didn't slow down.
"I can't do it yet, Madame Pomfrey's not going to listen to a stag!" he protested. "Once I get her back inside, and go and get Wormy, then I'll transform."
The dog barked again in approval of the plan, and used its head to open the front doors of the school and scan the grounds for signs of his friend or the nurse. Success in this search, too, did not take long.
A blood-curdling scream had issued from the center of the grounds, and as Sirius approached, he saw that his friend had just finished transforming, perhaps in the last minute, and was now eyeing the nurse hungrily. He had to get there fast, he had to save her, but it was far. As the wolf lowered itself for the pounce, Sirius drew nearer, and just as it sprang, so did he, and caught it in midair, knocking him aside. The wolf turned its attention to the dog, chasing it as it ran off.
Madame Pomfrey screamed as something grabbed her from behind—but it was only James Potter.
"Come on," he said, "let's go back to the castle. I'm sure your other patients are missing you." She was in too much shock to say a word, and allowed the boy to steer her back to the doors, up the stairs, and to the hospital wing.
"N-now you go back to your common room, Potter," said the nurse weakly.
But he only gave her a very mischievous smile and said, "Goodnight!"
Although James had nothing against the nurse, his natural spirit of rebellion made it a torment to even consider obeying her order and returning to the common room, if only for a moment, to collect Peter to begin their full moon adventure. Trusting that Peter was happy asleep, and that when he woke he would find the butterbeer on his lap a small consolation, James turned back to the entrance hall and transformed into a stag before he left the castle and went to join the two canines that were his friends in their last night of adventure for this year at Hogwarts.
Lily woke fairly early the next morning, with the noble intention to return to the hospital wing and visit the ailing Remus Lupin, who could perhaps elaborate on the specifics of what was wonderful about James Potter. For last night had shown her that there was at least one ounce of truth in his words: James Potter had not stopped and tried to talk then – he had put the needs of his friend before his desire to win Lily's love.
Just as she was tying her tie and descending the girls' stair case, Lily heard voices outside, speaking the password. The portrait hole opened up and three people crossed into the common room, still talking in whispers: Sirius Black, James Potter, and slung on their shoulders between them, a pale and haggard Remus Lupin.
"Wormtail is going to kill you, mate," Sirius was saying. "It was the last time for this whole year!"
"He could try," James countered coolly, "but there's no way he'd beat me in single combat. He'd have to do it all sneaky, behind our backs, like a rat."
Lily did not understand why this made Sirius laugh hysterically, and Remus laugh quietly, but watched, unmoving, from the top of the stairs as the two dark-haired boys removed the empty butterbeer bottle and lowered their pale companion into Peter's vacated chair beside the fire and draped their robes onto him, for which he softly thanked them.
"Someone nicked our butterbeer!" cried Sirius, outraged, as he spotted two more empty bottles sitting beside the fire. "There's one left, though . . ." Sirius picked it up from its resting place on the mantel, but James snatched it out of his hand and handed it to Lupin.
"There you go, a proper pick-me-up," he said with a kind smile. "Good morning, Moony."
"Lay off, mate, I was going to give it to him anyway!" protested Sirius grumpily, throwing himself into the chair opposite Lupin's as the latter repeated his thanks, opened the butterbeer, and began to drink. "Just the bloody History of Magic exam left," Sirius yawned, "of which I think I'll sleep for the first half hour . . ."
"Padfoot," said Lupin softly, with a vague hint of disapproval in his voice, "you should at least wait 'til you finished to sleep, so you don't accidentally sleep through it and miss the whole thing!"
But Sirius ignored him and merely moaned that he wished they served breakfast at this hour, blaming the "bloody house-elves."
Lupin agreed with him, feeling drained and empty, and shivering again despite his tripe-layer of robes.
"Well, then, I think we all need some chocolate," said James, turning and ascending the boys' staircase. "Do have to ask if you want some, Moony? Since you've been clever enough to hide your secret stash even from me, I'll have to delve into my own." He opened the door to the dormitories at the top. "It's really a pity; I was planning on giving it to Lily, but I suppose what she doesn't know can't hurt her." And he disappeared through the door.
Sirius immediately turned and faced Lily. "Good morning, Lily Evans!" he called. "I trust you find my friend less sickening this morning."
"You're so optimistic, Mr. Black," she told him with a twisted half-smile.
"Oh, come on!" Sirius protested. "He's been practically a saint all morning – just ask Lupin."
"Listen, all I'm going to admit is –" She stopped abruptly as James reentered the common room, dashing down the staircase bearing several large chocolate bars.
"There you go, Moony," he said, passing the first of them to Lupin with a sweeping bow, then passing the second to Sirius. "This ought to restore our panache. And with your butterbeer, it's a proper Marauder breakfast!" As James unwrapped his, Lupin let out a final heaving sigh before unwrapping his own.
James threw one of his arms friendlily around Lupin's shoulders. "Agh, mate, why does this—"
"—furry—" interjected Sirius quickly, sitting on the floor on the other side of Lupin's chair.
"—business got to make you so sick all the time?" he demanded with a sigh of his own. His expression quickly cleared, however. "Anyways," he held up his chocolate bar for a toast, "to the Marauders!"
"To the Marauders," echoed Sirius and Lupin, and they each clinked their chocolate bars before they took their first bite into them. There was silence for a moment as they chewed contentedly.
"I really wish Lily could see this side of you, Prongs," Sirius muttered pointedly.
"Oh, yes," agreed Lupin cheerfully, glancing up at her momentarily, "I'm sure it would impress her more than anything you do with your hair or your Snitch."
"OK, the hair thing is an automatic compulsion," James protested. "I see her and my hand moves of its own accord. I'm dead serious."
"I'm sorry, James," began Lupin, "that I never got an answer last night, so I don't know whether she –" But James interrupted.
"Oh, as if I could complain, when I sent you out on—" James began, but Sirius interrupted.
"Let's ask her!" He turned to face the girls' staircase. "Evans! What were you going to tell Lupin about James before he got ill?"
James turned in shock and stared blushingly at her, and Sirius grabbed his arm before it could reach his hair. His two friends sniggered.
Lily stared down at the terrified, bespectacled boy and said, "We'll see." And then, very faintly, almost involuntarily, Lily Evans smiled at James Potter.