Exert From Ivan Lachrymose: Lake Explorer
Chapter 4: Ivan Lachrymose Buys A Loaf Of Bread
"That morning, Ivan Lachrymose decided to have toast for breakfast. "I think I'll have toast for breakfast," said Ivan Lachrymose. Ivan Lachrymose opened the pantry. He looked inside, but there was no bread.
"Oh dear, there is no bread in the pantry," said Ivan Lachrymose. So Ivan Lachrymose decided to go to the store and buy a loaf of bread to replace the bread that he lacked. "I think I'll go to the store and buy a loaf of bread to replace the bread that I lack," said Ivan Lachrymose.
So Ivan Lachrymose walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the room he was standing in before he walked over to the key hook on the wall on the north side of the room two doors down and one floor beneath the kitchen which, at the time, lacked bread.
Ivan Lachrymose then walked outside where his car was parked. He unlocked the door, climbed in, closed the door, put the key in the ignition, and turned the key clockwise to start the engine. Ivan Lachrymose then drove 1 mile north, 2 miles east, 3 miles south, and 2 miles west, then made a left on Dismal drive and parked in a parking spot fairly close to the bread shop.
Ivan Lachrymose placed his hand on the car door handle, and pulled. I can't believe you've read this far. This whole book's purpose is to store information, so if you're reading it for amusement purposes then STOP. This is a long, boring, not to mention tedious book. Ivan Lachrymose pushed the door open, then climbed out, and pushed the door so that it shut…"